Him working full time while going to school isn't the problem.
Him prioritizing three different amateur hobby bands that will likely never get out of mom's garage when his girlfriend is begging to spend time with him is the problem.
If after 4 years you've not met his family there clearly is a reason. Not everybody has grown up with a normal functioning family.
My father was physically and emotionally abusive to me and my mother, he was also in and out of prison for selling cocaine. He even threatened my life on multiple occasions for not agreeing to sell cocaine for him while he was in prison.
I cut him off many many years ago and haven't spoken with the man in close too a decade.
I never went into detail about it with my partner because when people found out they treated me differently, and I was embarrassed about my family's past.
I simply told my partner my dad had died when I was young as I had no plans that they would ever meet.
My relationship with my mother determinated as a result of it as well.
I spent many years bottling it all up so I completely understand where your boyfriend is coming from
It's not for you to understand or get him to explain it just is and you need to accept you crossed the line.
been a very shitty friend to them ever since I got into this relationship
Ofcourse. You're spending a bunch of time with a shitty, creepy guy.
But you have time to fix it. Your early 20's is about exploring yourself as a person. Take this as a life lesson about creepy older men looking for younger woman and move on with the lesson learned.
Him working full time while going to school isn't the problem.
Him prioritizing three different amateur hobby bands that will likely never get out of mom's garage when his girlfriend is begging to spend time with him is the problem.
This reeks of entitlement
If after 4 years you've not met his family there clearly is a reason. Not everybody has grown up with a normal functioning family.
My father was physically and emotionally abusive to me and my mother, he was also in and out of prison for selling cocaine. He even threatened my life on multiple occasions for not agreeing to sell cocaine for him while he was in prison.
I cut him off many many years ago and haven't spoken with the man in close too a decade.
I never went into detail about it with my partner because when people found out they treated me differently, and I was embarrassed about my family's past.
I simply told my partner my dad had died when I was young as I had no plans that they would ever meet.
My relationship with my mother determinated as a result of it as well.
I spent many years bottling it all up so I completely understand where your boyfriend is coming from
It's not for you to understand or get him to explain it just is and you need to accept you crossed the line.
Someone who loves isn't going to say things they know would hurt you. Just saying.
been a very shitty friend to them ever since I got into this relationship
Ofcourse. You're spending a bunch of time with a shitty, creepy guy.
But you have time to fix it. Your early 20's is about exploring yourself as a person. Take this as a life lesson about creepy older men looking for younger woman and move on with the lesson learned.
OP, this is more than sounds stupid, you gave permission for your wife to spend the weekend in your home with her AP.
Be sure and wash the sheets before you get back in that bed, and have your wife get an STD test.