I feel like 3 months of consistently dating is a long time to leave someone high and dry, but I agree with you on the latter part. I'm just disappointed because I don't catch feelings often. Oh well, onto the next.
Also, and I’ll be hated for this… but a car is a big piece of most of our lives. It’s really presumptuous to pick one for someone else. Maybe she wanted a hatchback, a pickup truck, was saving to go electric, or just hates Toyota because the local dealer is an ass or something. Even super well intentioned I’d feel weird having someone else make that huge decision about my life without consulting me at all. A new car isn’t just a shirt you can pretend to like and then stick in a closet.
That's a good point too. Unless he was buying the same exact car, just a newer model, you really shouldn't just do that for anyone. And even then, I'm sure a brand new model car is drastically increasing her insurance. Can she afford that?
He's not taking your emotions seriously. He's not respecting you. He himself has no problem with being touched at his belly button, so in his mind it's generally ok to be touched there and he doesn't consider your request as valid. It's a joke to him and he teases you about what he sees as a silly quirk. And your reactions are funny to him because he doesn't think they're validated or real.
His reaction shows you that he doesn't think your feelings are as valid as his. He sees his own feelings as valid, his own hurt as reasonable, because he thinks your hurt is silly and unreasonable.
He doesn't hear you at all.
That makes him a bully. You're dating a bully that targets you and thinks its funny because he doesn't take what you say at face value. He has absolutely no empathy for you and your point of view.
That's what this is. He's telling you that he'll never just listen to you and he'll always judge you and make your suffering into a source of his amusement. Believe him.
If you leave him today he'll tell everyone you left him because you couldn't take a joke. And the worst thing is, he'll truly believe it's true.
Dear god this is so scary. Like reading a post of my future. I am the chronically ill girlfriend (hopefully soon fiancé) and I am terrified of ruining my significant others life like this… goddamn
Hmmmm what else do you call it when you intentionally lead someone along for a period of time knowing full well that if you tell them the truth that it will end the relationship?
This has, “relationship broken, just add people” written all over it. He has been insecure, and accusatory for TWO FREAKING YEARS?! How is that a good relationship for you? How is that even tolerable for you?
Look- I believe in open and polyamourous relationships. (I'd better, my two live-in partners would probably be dismayed if I suddenly went monogamous…) They can be good and solid and wonderful. But each of your relationships have to be sutainable and supportive -, independent of the others – otherwise all your doing is adding other complications to an already broken relationship. And from everything I've seen without your core relationships being stable- things go down in flames really, really quickly. Especially if all parties are not 100% on board with the relationship structure.
Same yourself the drama and discomfort OP – and find someone who's not an insecure jerk.
Masturbation and sex are not interchangeable. When you’re alone there is no intimacy, no need to question how you look, no need to account for another person’s enjoyment. You are in full control of the situation. it can end within a fraction of a second if you want it to.
For women to want sexual contact with another person there also needs to be a mental build up. In situations like this, the answer often lies in the nature of you’re non sexual relationship. Is the spark gone? How do you communicate? Is there an unequal distribution of domestic labor.. etc.
You need to have an open and honest conversation about this. Not one in the bedroom, not one that leads to one party feeling guilty and submitting to having sex. Make it known that you are not asking for sex or complaining, that you are not trying to initiate anything.
if you don’t trust her response, that’s a whole different issue.
I feel like 3 months of consistently dating is a long time to leave someone high and dry, but I agree with you on the latter part. I'm just disappointed because I don't catch feelings often. Oh well, onto the next.
Also, and I’ll be hated for this… but a car is a big piece of most of our lives. It’s really presumptuous to pick one for someone else. Maybe she wanted a hatchback, a pickup truck, was saving to go electric, or just hates Toyota because the local dealer is an ass or something. Even super well intentioned I’d feel weird having someone else make that huge decision about my life without consulting me at all. A new car isn’t just a shirt you can pretend to like and then stick in a closet.
That's a good point too. Unless he was buying the same exact car, just a newer model, you really shouldn't just do that for anyone. And even then, I'm sure a brand new model car is drastically increasing her insurance. Can she afford that?
He's not taking your emotions seriously. He's not respecting you. He himself has no problem with being touched at his belly button, so in his mind it's generally ok to be touched there and he doesn't consider your request as valid. It's a joke to him and he teases you about what he sees as a silly quirk. And your reactions are funny to him because he doesn't think they're validated or real.
His reaction shows you that he doesn't think your feelings are as valid as his. He sees his own feelings as valid, his own hurt as reasonable, because he thinks your hurt is silly and unreasonable.
He doesn't hear you at all.
That makes him a bully. You're dating a bully that targets you and thinks its funny because he doesn't take what you say at face value. He has absolutely no empathy for you and your point of view.
That's what this is. He's telling you that he'll never just listen to you and he'll always judge you and make your suffering into a source of his amusement. Believe him.
If you leave him today he'll tell everyone you left him because you couldn't take a joke. And the worst thing is, he'll truly believe it's true.
Dear god this is so scary. Like reading a post of my future. I am the chronically ill girlfriend (hopefully soon fiancé) and I am terrified of ruining my significant others life like this… goddamn
You have to one up your gf by sticking your foot into your cousin’s mouth.
he doesn't want to be lonely whilst he's looking for the one he wants to marry.
Hmmmm what else do you call it when you intentionally lead someone along for a period of time knowing full well that if you tell them the truth that it will end the relationship?
You did good. Carry on.
Talking marriage after 7 dates?! I've been with my bf almost 16 months. We live together and aren't even at that stage.
Something is not right here ?
I’m not saying they should. But if they ask and the woman throws a fit, they can do it anyway. They don’t need her permission for DNA.
This has, “relationship broken, just add people” written all over it. He has been insecure, and accusatory for TWO FREAKING YEARS?! How is that a good relationship for you? How is that even tolerable for you?
Look- I believe in open and polyamourous relationships. (I'd better, my two live-in partners would probably be dismayed if I suddenly went monogamous…) They can be good and solid and wonderful. But each of your relationships have to be sutainable and supportive -, independent of the others – otherwise all your doing is adding other complications to an already broken relationship. And from everything I've seen without your core relationships being stable- things go down in flames really, really quickly. Especially if all parties are not 100% on board with the relationship structure.
Same yourself the drama and discomfort OP – and find someone who's not an insecure jerk.
Im guessing mom had something to do with it.
Masturbation and sex are not interchangeable. When you’re alone there is no intimacy, no need to question how you look, no need to account for another person’s enjoyment. You are in full control of the situation. it can end within a fraction of a second if you want it to.
For women to want sexual contact with another person there also needs to be a mental build up. In situations like this, the answer often lies in the nature of you’re non sexual relationship. Is the spark gone? How do you communicate? Is there an unequal distribution of domestic labor.. etc.
You need to have an open and honest conversation about this. Not one in the bedroom, not one that leads to one party feeling guilty and submitting to having sex. Make it known that you are not asking for sex or complaining, that you are not trying to initiate anything.
if you don’t trust her response, that’s a whole different issue.