Just tell her in a nice way. Don't be mean abt it or make a joke of it. It's such an easily fixable thing compared to the vast majority of stuff on this sub.
My fiancé has 5 younger sisters, he is the oldest. All of their dads are a real piece of work, so he is the father figure of the family. This is excessive, even for a father figure standpoint.
You have established that sending sex videos to other women makes you uncomfortable and he is trying to manipulate you into thinking that it’s OK. That is, at the very least, immature.
I am once again bringing up age gap as the first red flag. It is not a coincidence that you are now (approx) the age he was when you guys started dating.
20F meets 25M and are super compatible. For 25M to find interest in the 20y.o. his mental age must be closer to 20. For this to happen he has to mature slower than average. Four years later, 24F has mental age of 24 (assuming average rate) but he is still 20 so he looks for attention elsewhere rather than asking his gf for that attention, and thinks he can get away with manipulation and apologies.
As someone whose father skipped out on child support, I would want my mom to have it because she has already spent it out of pocket while I was growing up. Unless your daughter paid for some of her basic necessities growing up, I would consider it your money.
This is tough because that viewpoint isn't going to jive with how she sees it. If you do stop giving it to her, your delivery is very important. At her age, I wasted a lot of money on useless stuff and really regret it now so you could help her avoid that. However, she's not going to like it.
I have boys my sons age hit on me a lot. Some are quite persistent. I block them. There is nothing a 25 year old could do to seduce me. They are like children to me. And no. There is no such thing as mature for your age.
Do you have a lawyer? That's the first step. No need to talk to your wife at this point. You need to talk to a lawyer. They'll work on all the stuff like giving notice. Whether you tell your wife or not doesn't matter. In fact, most attorneys will tell you to NOT tell her.
You don't need permission to file for divorce.
Source: I'm 52 and divorced after my ex-wife cheated.
Sounds like the sexual orientation of your wife is an enigma to both of you. I think she was liberated when she drank and her true unrestricted, unconstrained self showed up.
Yes. Years ago my husband called me a “selfish bitch” whilst angry. When he calmed down I showed him how much child support he'd be entitled to from me and talked about moving out. I pointed out to him that either he really thought I was a selfish bitch, in which case he didn't love me, or he was just trying to hurt me, which was abusive. Either way, it meant the end of the marriage.
He hasn't sworn AT me since. We both swear about things that annoy us but we never swear at each other.
Every time I see post when barely out of high school couple and big ass age gap relationships, I always check post history. 9/10 they have worst problems that they’ve talked about in here.
Don't listen to all of these people telling you that you're too old, or you need to find someone in a similar stage in life. Y'all have only been dating for three weeks, so just have fun and let the cards fall as they may. She likes you, and you like her. It's not complicated.
Who cares about what he wants at this point? What do you want? Do you want to be with someone who only wants to be with you once they realize you would actually walk away? He didn't care about how unhappy you were or how incompatible you both were. You still have time to find someone who legitimately wants the same things as you and just isn't saying so because they're afraid of being alone. Take some time and go no contact. Figure out what's best for you without his influence.
There are many different dialects, even just in the US. Does he correct people who say pop instead or soda or vice versa? Tell him his American intolerance is showing and leave it at that. My partner is from the UK, and I am Canadian. I totally giggle as some of his pronunciations but only to myself.
I don't really see how this is a relationship question and is probably better suited for r/changemyview but I'll give my two cents here. These are some sweeping generalizations you've made. Like you said, this doesn't apply to every man or woman, so I don't understand your stance that you are opposed to having sex with men as a whole because of it.
FTM porn is a thing. Sure it may not be as popular as MTF porn, but it definitely has a market. People can also be interested in watching people/acts performed in porn that they have no desire for/to do in their own sex life. Taboo, in itself, is very sexually appealing. It's still very taboo for men who identify as straight to explore their sexuality or even be curious, so I speculate that plays a factor. Straight women, for the most part in western cultures, are given much more leeway to explore their sexuality.
This sort of blends into all of the other issues you mentioned. I think the problem you are having is that you are taking the culturally expected stance of straight men– to be dominant, prefer hyper-femininity, prioritize themselves in the bedroom, and to only engage in any sexual activity with women and never consider exploration– and assuming that that is how the majority of men actually feel or choose to live. Men feel their own social pressures on their ability to express themselves. Simply because they may act in line with some of these does not mean it is a free choice. I think that's what your therapist is getting at.
I also feel like I've seen this post somewhere before.
See if he can do another round. Sometimes they can last longer. Also, he should practice stopping and starting his urine stream. That helps with holding cum.
And breathing. He needs to remember to just relax and not get too excited. He will learn to hold it if he practices
Walking is great and all. And a good first step towards feeling mentally better for someone living a completely sedentary life… or for someone who's just looking to take the edge off their weight… but diet is EVERYTHING for weight change.
she will be lucky to burn 125 calories in a mile. And that might feel like a ton of work for someone that overweight and out of shape.
Meanwhile she might be drinking 200+ calories in ten seconds. Multiple times throughout the day.
The number one way to see results with minimal effort is to take an honest look at daily intake and find the snacks or high sugar/calorie drinks that can be cut out. If she's not a snacked or Starbucks enthusiast, it's taking an honest look at meals, replace a god portion of any dairy or carby part of the meal with some leafy greens.
You can get more in depth and actually count calories, but generally just smart and honest substitutions will go a long way and can do more than hours on hours of cardio
Get out of here. Don’t think about procreating with this guy. Who cared about 5 years gone. Have a happy healthy future with someone whose not a criminal
I'd say there has been some bilateral poor communication, and then that zinger about “different maturity levels” makes me wonder if it's more than that.
You've tried to justify yourself (and what you said makes sense to me) but if she doesn't wanna, she doesn't wanna.
He might have come back if you hadn't gone all stalker on him
You want to end a relationship over something that happened when you were all literal teenagers?
She doesn’t have an issue with porn exactly she just doesn’t approve of the type of porn he watches.
Just tell her in a nice way. Don't be mean abt it or make a joke of it. It's such an easily fixable thing compared to the vast majority of stuff on this sub.
A month and a half of a 4 month relationship? I’d send him a message and say “guess we are moving on then?” Then find someone more mature.
My fiancé has 5 younger sisters, he is the oldest. All of their dads are a real piece of work, so he is the father figure of the family. This is excessive, even for a father figure standpoint.
Want to date me and my husband next? We could use a bigger house..
It's working for me
You have established that sending sex videos to other women makes you uncomfortable and he is trying to manipulate you into thinking that it’s OK. That is, at the very least, immature.
I am once again bringing up age gap as the first red flag. It is not a coincidence that you are now (approx) the age he was when you guys started dating.
20F meets 25M and are super compatible. For 25M to find interest in the 20y.o. his mental age must be closer to 20. For this to happen he has to mature slower than average. Four years later, 24F has mental age of 24 (assuming average rate) but he is still 20 so he looks for attention elsewhere rather than asking his gf for that attention, and thinks he can get away with manipulation and apologies.
As someone whose father skipped out on child support, I would want my mom to have it because she has already spent it out of pocket while I was growing up. Unless your daughter paid for some of her basic necessities growing up, I would consider it your money.
This is tough because that viewpoint isn't going to jive with how she sees it. If you do stop giving it to her, your delivery is very important. At her age, I wasted a lot of money on useless stuff and really regret it now so you could help her avoid that. However, she's not going to like it.
I have boys my sons age hit on me a lot. Some are quite persistent. I block them. There is nothing a 25 year old could do to seduce me. They are like children to me. And no. There is no such thing as mature for your age.
Do you have a lawyer? That's the first step. No need to talk to your wife at this point. You need to talk to a lawyer. They'll work on all the stuff like giving notice. Whether you tell your wife or not doesn't matter. In fact, most attorneys will tell you to NOT tell her.
You don't need permission to file for divorce.
Source: I'm 52 and divorced after my ex-wife cheated.
Stay strong, you can get through this. Across the sea but I'm proud of you xx
Sounds like the sexual orientation of your wife is an enigma to both of you. I think she was liberated when she drank and her true unrestricted, unconstrained self showed up.
Yes. Years ago my husband called me a “selfish bitch” whilst angry. When he calmed down I showed him how much child support he'd be entitled to from me and talked about moving out. I pointed out to him that either he really thought I was a selfish bitch, in which case he didn't love me, or he was just trying to hurt me, which was abusive. Either way, it meant the end of the marriage.
He hasn't sworn AT me since. We both swear about things that annoy us but we never swear at each other.
Every time I see post when barely out of high school couple and big ass age gap relationships, I always check post history. 9/10 they have worst problems that they’ve talked about in here.
You’ve lived “all over the world”, but seem so unworldly. You know the answer. It’s move on.
Don't listen to all of these people telling you that you're too old, or you need to find someone in a similar stage in life. Y'all have only been dating for three weeks, so just have fun and let the cards fall as they may. She likes you, and you like her. It's not complicated.
Who cares about what he wants at this point? What do you want? Do you want to be with someone who only wants to be with you once they realize you would actually walk away? He didn't care about how unhappy you were or how incompatible you both were. You still have time to find someone who legitimately wants the same things as you and just isn't saying so because they're afraid of being alone. Take some time and go no contact. Figure out what's best for you without his influence.
You’re 22, why would you have to bring anything up with your parents?
There are many different dialects, even just in the US. Does he correct people who say pop instead or soda or vice versa? Tell him his American intolerance is showing and leave it at that. My partner is from the UK, and I am Canadian. I totally giggle as some of his pronunciations but only to myself.
He threatened to leave you?
….
YOU leave HIM.
When people tell you who they are, believe them. You now know who he is, this is who he is. Personally this wouldn't work for me.
I don't really see how this is a relationship question and is probably better suited for r/changemyview but I'll give my two cents here. These are some sweeping generalizations you've made. Like you said, this doesn't apply to every man or woman, so I don't understand your stance that you are opposed to having sex with men as a whole because of it.
FTM porn is a thing. Sure it may not be as popular as MTF porn, but it definitely has a market. People can also be interested in watching people/acts performed in porn that they have no desire for/to do in their own sex life. Taboo, in itself, is very sexually appealing. It's still very taboo for men who identify as straight to explore their sexuality or even be curious, so I speculate that plays a factor. Straight women, for the most part in western cultures, are given much more leeway to explore their sexuality.
This sort of blends into all of the other issues you mentioned. I think the problem you are having is that you are taking the culturally expected stance of straight men– to be dominant, prefer hyper-femininity, prioritize themselves in the bedroom, and to only engage in any sexual activity with women and never consider exploration– and assuming that that is how the majority of men actually feel or choose to live. Men feel their own social pressures on their ability to express themselves. Simply because they may act in line with some of these does not mean it is a free choice. I think that's what your therapist is getting at.
I also feel like I've seen this post somewhere before.
See if he can do another round. Sometimes they can last longer. Also, he should practice stopping and starting his urine stream. That helps with holding cum.
And breathing. He needs to remember to just relax and not get too excited. He will learn to hold it if he practices
I hope so, but.
“That is our only real purpose”!? What about people who can’t or choose not to have kids? Not everyone is meant to be a parent.
He sounds awful. You've done nothing wrong, and you sound like a fun person to be around.
You go on this trip! You’re young and this will be a great experience for you.
Fuck him live life
Walking is great and all. And a good first step towards feeling mentally better for someone living a completely sedentary life… or for someone who's just looking to take the edge off their weight… but diet is EVERYTHING for weight change.
she will be lucky to burn 125 calories in a mile. And that might feel like a ton of work for someone that overweight and out of shape.
Meanwhile she might be drinking 200+ calories in ten seconds. Multiple times throughout the day.
The number one way to see results with minimal effort is to take an honest look at daily intake and find the snacks or high sugar/calorie drinks that can be cut out. If she's not a snacked or Starbucks enthusiast, it's taking an honest look at meals, replace a god portion of any dairy or carby part of the meal with some leafy greens.
You can get more in depth and actually count calories, but generally just smart and honest substitutions will go a long way and can do more than hours on hours of cardio
Get out of here. Don’t think about procreating with this guy. Who cared about 5 years gone. Have a happy healthy future with someone whose not a criminal
I'm saying I don't know why he would want to have sex with me. After all the times I've been mean to him that's what I'm saying.
My personality isn't horrible I just have some unresolved issues that I have never dealt with. But I am now getting therapy.
Weirdo city.
*projecting
I’m not disputing it mate. I’m clarifying what she said dude
I'd say there has been some bilateral poor communication, and then that zinger about “different maturity levels” makes me wonder if it's more than that.
You've tried to justify yourself (and what you said makes sense to me) but if she doesn't wanna, she doesn't wanna.
Talking to a therapist is, I think, a good idea.
Break up with her and deal with your issues, this isn't fair to her because she has done nothing wrong.