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Date: September 28, 2022
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How on earth was a 3 year old able to access kitchen knives?
Totally normal. The frequency comes and goes, but it’s never quite as hot and heavy as that first ‘honeymoon period’.
Also, if you’d like to be doing it more often, don’t wait for him to initiate. Do it yourself, and clearly, not hinting or hoping he’ll read your mind. And take it graciously if he declines.
And that's one of many reasons your girlfriend is proud that you are hers.
Well people are advising you to make rash decisions, but it doesn't work thar way does it? Call the police and then what? Move out and go where? Fall out of love with him. It's so hard to get out of stuff like this sometimes.
You don't even know what his reason was? He just gets mad at stuff out in the world and takes it out on you? You're ok with that? What if he was mad because a girl rejected him?
You have to think long and hard about how miserable he can make your life if you stay. And if you leave. You need money saved up. A safe place to go that he doesn't know about.
This is more than just a fight. It's a total lack of respect. You're not even a person to him in those moments. That's some scary shit. Is he worth dying for?
Relationship is toxic as hell. Either counseling to try and major it healthy (and therapy/meds if you haven't) or you two should split
No is a complete sentence. If he insists just ignore him.
He doesnt have a leg to stand on. He's in the wrong legally and he's wrong morally as well.
Lol dude maybe read your post and condense it? Cause it just comes off as your a gross pervert and she deserves much better. Like you want help getting blown after work?
OP has more info on this than we do. She knows what their relationship problems are about, whether or not they lined up with the incident, whether or not he's cheated before, and whether or not he's had difficulties with this coworker in the past. If my boyfriend was accused of being a rapist and there were some red flags demonstrating it could potentially be true, I would not feel comfortable remaining in that relationship.
Whether or not I'm right is another thing, but I'd rather make an educated decision for my own wellbeing and deal with a breakup than blindly stick to the side of a rapist/murderer/pedophile/etc.
Does your bf have a history of cheating? Is he in general untrustworthy? Jumping from he didn’t say something cute because he was tired to I think he cheated is a big leap.
Odd situation to say the least….it's not like he had sex with her….not sure you can be mad about this; however, he should have discussed it with you
I don’t think you need to get back to intimacy. You’re over complicating it. Go see a movie or something, and at the end of the night before you part ways, tell her how you feel.
Looking at the porn isn’t the problem. The absolute disregard of my personal boundaries in the relationship he CHOSE to be in.
I remember that…
Another one I want to know about is what was really in the olive box in the fridge?
Bahahaha i had the same reaction in my comment before realizing this wasn't r/AmITheAsshole. But if it was, YTA all the way OP lol
You didn't waste anything. The idea that women who haven't landed a man for marriage have “wasted” their “best” years is a message from the patriarchy so that women will settle for shitty men who are less than they deserve out of fear of dying withered and alone. And it works. It had you wondering if you should stay even after finding out what a horrible man he really is.
Men don't talk like this about themselves. Have you ever heard a man say “I wasted my 20s on her”? (At this point, you might be thinking “but women's fertility doesn't last as long as men's.” Which is more bullshit from the patriarchy. Men's fertility does decline with age. The older the father, the more likely their are health issues.)
You didn't mess up. You didn't waste your time. You lived your life. Things didn't work out, and now you'll move on with the rest of your life.
Strangely I think this is more to do with nerves than compatibility. On paper it was something you thought you could do but in reality it wasn’t and alcohol and nerves don’t go together. So it could’ve been anything your ex could’ve had as a family tradition but you’d still felt the same.
Use this as a learning curve and not drink next time and research/ask questions what an activity you’re not familiar with would entailed
Because the mom is a saint for threatening to abandon her kid for staying in contact with his father?
Finalise. And get the fuck away from this dumpster fire. This is not how healthy functioning relationships work. And it sounds like there is so much damage that this isn't even worth saving.
Well he was raised different. He’s really into money so I doubt he’ll care. But we still love him anyway.
Yeah, I don't think the OP is trying to push to adopt the kid… OP just seems distraught over a bombshell that involves someone else having what she wants – her husbands kid.
Age thing aside? This is a huge bomb in the middle of the relationship. Husband has a kid… with an ex… and OP can't have a kid and is distraught over… all of it.
The age difference? That's part of it as well and hard to say how much.
There's not much you can do in this situation- you've been with her for 2 years, she should know whether you are or are not disrespectful towards women by now. At the end of the day, you are someone who enjoys looking a hot scantily clad women, to the point that it's all their IG shows them, while in a committed relationship. She will have to decide whether that's a deal breaker or not.
You could offer to deactivate; or create a fresh account and turn a new leaf.
Take this opportunity while he's away to just get your stuff and go. Text him so he knows then block him. You know you deserve better.
Meaning including you with what happens with the young lady at work. Sharing those stories as you are his partner. My husband and I do that all the time. He will tell me if a lady hits on him and whether or not is attractive. I don't care, but still listen.
We got rid of our powerboat (38' twin engine Sonic) shortly after she was born. Absolutely get that as well and missed our friends and dock parties, but then we had a child. I had ours at 32, she is 15 now. I understand your desire to do those things with her even though she will not remember them, memory typically begins at 3. They are sweet things that warm your heart. I also had mine in daycare starting at 5 mos. Again, completely understand.
He pouted, because he wanted you with him and to have a good time together as a couple. One thing I always bore in mind was that our relationship created this child. Our relationship/marriage should take president so that the marriage stays strong. 20 plus years later still happily married with a well rounded and mentally healthy teen. I was there for her as well as he was. We still always made time for each other to keep the marriage strong as we still do today. I get you are tired and worked a long day and miss your little one where you want to spend time with her. We did that too, but once she was down for the night, it was our time to have fun, hang out, or just talk.
You guys will figure out what works best for you. Sharing what worked for us and what we kept in mind being married, having children, working, and caring for the house.
No amount of excuses you attempt to offer up make it OK to speak to your children like that. Period.
YTA, a million over. I hope she leaves you.
Since you tried calling and didn’t get a response I’d simply text and say “Hey, I just called to confirm we’re still on for event tomorrow. Shoot me a text or call when you’re free.”
Then leave it in her court. See what her response is. Good luck.
When you leave your gf to move in with your sister, don’t even bother planning to go back to gf. You’re making a choice and you’ll need to stick with it.
It can feel isolating and frightening not to know what’s happening in a loved one’s life, particularly when you care very deeply about that person.
Your wife is very invested in you. She loves you. She wants to know what happened to you.
All of these things are normal, but they are hers to manage. It’s a good idea for her to start therapy, too, so that she can have some help dealing with these feelings while you work on your trauma.
I truly understand not wanting to talk about this with your wife. She’s too close. You need a bit of distance to be able to work through it yourself first.
This is like if you’ve been shot. You don’t want anyone but the doctors in there digging for the bullet, but your wife has seen the blood all over the living room and wants to know who shot you and why. Both sides are entirely reasonable. Neither of you are wrong. It’s time to call in more support for both of you, because neither of you should be expected to mop up that blood alone.
Keep it up and you'll be single soon enough. What you think is funny just sounds like you're being mean.
You talk about loving your wife and that she is your whole world. But it feels like you have already checked out of this marriage. In the end you have to decide what you want in life. But you talk about “normal” like it’s a guarantee that you will find someone “normal.” And even if you do, they could get sick, you could get sick, and there is no guarantee for a healthy child either. Life just a gamble, some seems to have all the luck, others not so much.
I understand how difficult it must be, how exhausting, and frustrating your life must be.I’m disable and as I have gotten older my mobility has decreased and pain management is a daily struggle. You say you feel like your missing out, imagine how your wife must feel, believe me it’s probably 1000x worse. You have the option to leave, she trapped in a body that is betraying her, on a daily basis. She is probably struggling with guilt about keeping you from things you want in life. Whatever you do you have to be honest with yourself, and your wife. Maybe look into getting outside help to ease the burden of being the sole caregiver. You mentioned your wife is in therapy, maybe therapy would help you too.
Ah f*ck… I thought I recognized him from another one and wanted to check out his profile … guess I should not have waited till later this evening 🙁
You don't. What if she says yes and things don't work out? Awkward. There's a reason why they say not to dip your pen in the company ink. Are you equal to each other? Any power imbalances? Are there company policies against doing so? Is she single? Has she dated anyone else she works with? Oof.
good assessment
I'm just wondering if she has three children and all of them earn good money, how much does it cost them each monthly to pay for their mothers livestyle? And what procentage of their income would be left?
Because depending on the answer this situation could be completely different.
If they each earn like 10k a month and pay their mom 1k that very different from each earning like 3k and paying their mom 1k.
And what OP should also ask her husband is if he would be ok if she decided that they are going to send double what they sent his mother to her parents.
This…married 26 years and never had any urge to check anyone's phones.
Why do people always try to blame the guy when it's obvious the girl is a emotional manipulator she literally gave OP a sob story for him to take her back than instead of working on herself gives OP a list of demands come on
Creepy. getting major stalker vibes
Personally i would tell my partner what haired and how inappropriate that felt. Really overstepped. I wood then ask for her to block that person everywhere.
Is it a good relationship? He made you and the kids go without so that he could secretly save to look good to the people that don't matter for years when he could have been a good man to the people that do matter instead.
Tbh Archer has a ton of scenes like that. Plus, it's funny as hell, ngl. Don't be shocked by the racism. It's ALL satire. The racists are caricatures meant to be made fun of because they're complete idiots lol. Cheryl, for example, is racist and slightly homophobic. She's also obscenely wealthy and eats glue to get high while she starts fires in her office trashcan, sooo, yeah, satire lol.
Tbh Archer has a ton of scenes like that. Plus, it's funny as hell, ngl. Don't be shocked by the racism. It's ALL satire. The racists are caricatures meant to be made fun of because they're complete idiots lol. Cheryl, for example, is racist and slightly homophobic. She's also obscenely wealthy and eats glue to get high while she starts fires in her office trashcan, sooo, yeah, satire lol.
I mean I get the friends. It’s exhausting to hear someone complain about a relationship and take no action for ages.
No prob
This guy should like a self absorbed child.
I’m not saying that it’s a certainty, but:
The baby trap is possible. Idk why the rule of three always seems to help sort things out, but here goes:
She’s already pregnant and she needs to “assign” an identity to the eventual father on the birth certificate.
She’s in a relationship and she wants a baby, but for some reason, conception has not occurred. Finding a pinch hitter is one of the oldest solutions out there.
She wants a baby and then wants you to get lost, or she wants a baby and then she will probably want you in the picture.
In both 2 and 3, finding a healthy younger man as a sperm donor is a quicker and less expensive method of conception.
That doesn’t mean that this is what’s going on, and I’m not judging anyone at all. If I’m not in their shoes, with their expectations and/or past experiences, I don’t dare do such a thing
Do you two joke around normally. It sounds like it was just a harmless joke.
Your gf should try to cheer up. Those cheaters who did underhanded nonsense actually helped shine a light on her fake friends. You got nothing to lose when you lose fake friends.
Yes, it's “soon-to-be-ex husband.”
Are you fine with it tho? If you feel some type of way about him when you can see what he is up to…imagine when you can't see what he is up to.
Honestly, There is nothing wrong with this situation, none of you are at fault here, you just now know that this person is not your ride or die kind of friend. She is not the one you can turn to for help in a bad situation but she is the friend you can go have superficial fun with.
You are older and wiser now and know just what kind of person she is, so treat her that way. hang out once in a while, grab a coffee or go to the movies, hang out and be lighthearted with her, but don't expect anything else from her then that cuz she proved to you her loyalties do not extend to your worst day.
And you know what they say, if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best so give her a version of you that is in between. There is also nothing wrong with saying “I was fine for the last 2 years without you, I am fine keeping it that way because I learned who I could rely on in my darkest days, and that wasn't you.”
That’s what it is here with nearly $50 a unit. A class is usually 3-5 units.
Okay, will do
Don’t you mean stop fucking the boyfriend?
OP, dump him. You can do so much better.
Don’t you mean stop fucking the boyfriend?
OP, dump him. You can do so much better.
“hey gf, you cool with fucking with your hormones and possibly dying so I can hit it raw?”
If that doesn't sound like something you would want to say, then there's no amount of sugarcoating that will make it better. If she wanted to be on birth control, she would be.
Just be aware he can send any pictures you send him to others. If this was me. I would block him. No means no. Him trying to talk you in to it. Isn’t a good sign either.
I think you said it spot on. I understand their concern but America isn’t too great either. My theory is they shouldn’t point out issues of a different country without acknowledging all the issues we have here
You need to be honest with yourself as to whether or not you will ever be able to forgive him and trust him again. Wanting to doesn’t make it happen. Is it possible for you. No amount of time or therapy will help if you can’t get over it and you can’t trust him again.
If you can’t then you need to end it. It doesn’t matter how intertwined your lives are. You won’t be the first to divorce and split assets and you won’t be the last. But it will be better than the both of you being miserable.
He needs help, not being parented by his girlfriend. He should go to his doctor, he should go to a therapist, he should go to a psychiatrist. Encourage him to get help. That’s the boundary that you can set.
Well I hate to break it to you, but if he's says it was before you and you take the girls word over his, then I do not think you trust him..
Which in relation makes this relationship fail faster because you don't take his word for stuff.. Even go and investigate yourself because you don't. That's not a good relationship for either of you.
To keep it short: You're both not good for each other. It'd be better for you and her to end it.
You can find a woman who has the same opinion as you and she can analyse her behaviour. Maybe she changes for the next man. But we don't know.
Tell her to fuck whoever she wants because you’re done
Nah fuck that, you're never too old for a condom demonstration
She said the texts aren’t clear and that it seems that he proposed when she was 20.. without seeing what was said, then any determination would just be a personal opinion and biased in nature as I’d only have one persons incomplete understanding to go on.
To not be biased, I’d have to look at both ways. If he did propose then he considered the two of them dating and therefore when he told OP that she’s the youngest he dated, he would be a liar. Not a good mix.
If he didn’t propose then what was the conversation about to make it seem that way.. was he being sexual? In that case, that to would point to getting involved with someone right out of high school, technically not illegal but does point to level of his maturity and the mind set he has to go for younger girls. Also a bad mix.
Thinking it doesn’t look good morally and points to bad judgement.
My wife has bipolar, ptsd, etc. and I wanted to let you know to hang in there. Have a good therapist and find the right mix of meds. I’ve been with my wife for 20 years and I have seen her improve in that time. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from the state if you find one or more life activities difficult or impossible to maintain. SSI usually denies the first time so don’t be discouraged