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Trying too hard??? This is a marriage, not a stubborn turd. What does he expect you to do, not care about your marriage?
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boy am I glad you came in here to resolve this conflict! could have really used you two hours ago though when something was actually going on!
Honestly, it sounds like you will be better off without her.
Going with her to the Casino, movies and dinner, bit having to work extra hours to pay the bills is not healthy at all.
“That's what women do, though”. Well you must be a massive hit with the ladies you misogynistic judgemental piece of crap.
Then there's your answer.
With a divorce.
Have you put in the work? Are you a better person or just jealous? She has done nothing wrong here.
You need to work on your insecurities as they won’t fix themselves. The level of jealousy is not equivalent to the context unless you’re leaving out valuable information.
If the reason you want to let him know that discussing his coworker makes you uncomfortable so that he knows where you’re coming from and the two of you can trust build and get to a place where you don’t have problems hearing this, then that’s great.
If you want to tell him that though so that he stops mentioning it at all to save your feelings, that’s no bueno. It’s a you issue, and you’ve got to find a way to face it rather than create a world where it’s kept from you as it might help right now but what about the next female employee? Or the one after that? Gotta solve the core issue girl
Is she willing to go to therapy?