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Anastasia, 26 y.o.
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Date: October 16, 2022
Your feelings are valid, but I feel like this emotional response you're having is more about you than her… Trying some therapy might help you to decouple the idea of even being near “sexually open” women with your partner cheating on you. It's fine to have friends that are strippers!
I think you're right that its toxic. Just an outsiders perspective but I think your feelings of inferiority are more about you than about your partner. Feeling like the person you're with is “better” than you is a symptom of you not valuing yourself. Sure, other people might have more experience in some areas than others, be more professionally successful or wealthier. That doesn't define their worth as a complete person. Your partner is with you because she obviously wants to spend her time with you; she things your worth it. I can't speak for her but when I've dated people who say things like “I don't know why you're with me” or “I'm not good enough” I find it really impacts the relationship because I feel like they're either fishing for reassurance, undervaluing themselves and/or telling me how i should feel about them.
I had similar situations to what you're describing with an ex; she was very conventionally attractive and would constantly get hit on by dudes when we were out often while i was standing right next to her and making it pretty obvious we were together. But mostly I just found the whole thing funny because she was choosing to be with me and she wasn't responsible for what other people were doing i.e. trying to hit on her. It was something we laughed about and bonded over rather than something that came between us because of my insecurity.
In terms of how to get over it: go to therapy if you can. Developing strategies to deal with negative intrusive thoughts and recognising your own value are super important skills to develop in life and itll almost certainly improve your life to realise there probably a lot of great things about you that you should take pride in
Either she cheated or shes having a mental breakdown. Either way, its not your fault, and stay away.
hmm, the way i could think of bringing it up that would make me feel okay about the situation would be by starting off by saying something that you like/love her (to reassure her everything’s okay) and that you are concerned about what happened (when she cried). you could then say something like you want to work on things and improve them but you can only do that if she’s being honest with you. she could either open up or if not it gives you the opportunity to then share what you’ve been noticing. the main thing is you just need to reassure her you want to work on things as oppose to breaking up right then and there.
this conversation would definitely need to occur in person. don’t do it after sex when emotions are high, just casually lead into it.
They've been dating almost a year so she was when he started and 20 is not that much difference from 19.
You literally posted this exact conversation yesterday lol go away
OP make sure the paternity test is not just testing the Y-chromosome,. Some labs do this and it is valid for non-related males. Related males with the same biological father or male line will have the same Y-chromosome (the mother cannot transmit the Y chromosome).
To give you an example, the early American president Thomas Jefferson had an affair with a slave that allegedly produced 6 children. A DNA patternity test was done for the Y-chromosome for Jefferson's direct male slave descendants. There is some debate that the father may actually be Thomas Jefforson's brother (due to having identical Y-chromosomes). The historical record has convinced the vast majority of historians that Thomas Jefferson is actually the father.
To get around this problem, it is best to do a test looking at a broader spectrum of chromosomes. A child should have about 1/2 of your spouse's genes with yours being the other half.
Is your relationship a little on sided? You dress up for him, cater to his needs, and he doesn’t want you to have pleasure during your 3 weeks apart? Is he ok with masturbation, because you know that replaces him during the 3 weeks too?
Also, if he thinks he can be replaced by a vibrator, then he is super insecure.
are you sure you didnt enjoy it in the moment?
I’m willing to bet you’re not being paranoid or abit crazy. Trust your gut
Food service is the key here. Honestly, weed is the best possible vice for her to have in that environment.
No. Your child deserves a safe and stable home and healthy strong role models. Being together is by no means necessary for that
Thanks for this! You really made me realize how I can approach this issue.