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alienmito, y.o.
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Date: September 25, 2022
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I’m in the same boat as your wife, except my in laws are not a short plane ride; it’s a 1.5-2 hour drive.
I wish I had better advice for you, but I want to say I empathize. They don’t visit more now that the baby has arrived, even though my fiancé has badgered them.
I for one do not think you’re expecting too much at all, but I think some of that is also me looking at you like I look at myself. I’m eager to see what other people have to say.
The point is that he disrespected her by telling her he found her best friend more attractive than her. That’s something you can think, but is never productive to say aloud to someone.
This is why communication is important man, should have brought up 'exclusively' or simply 'so you're my gf right?' on the week away.
Not to be rude, but she didn't make a fool out of yourself, you're making a fool out of yourself all on your own. You pointedly said you were not serous or dating at this point. My man, she was a free individual by your definition. It's your fault for not stating you felt otherwise, not hers.
So my advise? Apologize, say you were caught off guard and over reacted. Making her feel bad because she noticed 'how it effected you' is not a healthy path to proceed. No one on this planet has telepathy, going forward try to communicate your wishes a bit better.
Yeah you are being rude. There are no « should » in relationships – everyone is different.
is he making proper payments on it or is the interest just tanking him slowly? student loan debt isn't a red flag in itself, it's kind of normal if he went to school. the auto loan is debatable but it really comes down to what portion of the $90k it is.
You cannot find a compromise in this situation. His dealbreaker is having a dog. Your dealbreaker is not having a dog. There’s no way around that. It’s time to move on and find someone who wants the same things you do. I don’t want to sound harsh, but this relationship is already over. You’re sacrificing something really important to you and it will always weigh on you as long as you’re with this guy.
I completely get how this could really scar you, but I have to wonder… Did she accuse him of rape just because he was black/was it a racist move? Or was she just an absolute selfish psycho who would have accused an affair partner of any race of rape just to try to save her own skin?
Maybe she was taken more seriously by cops with a chip on their shoulder than she would if the partner had been white (which is a whole other issue, which I get causes a lot of fear for POC), but she herself might not have been racist, per se. A really, really crappy human being who deserves every negative thing that comes her way for sure, though.