You don’t go to couples therapy with people who threaten to kill you. If you’re at the point where your partner is threatening your life or someone else’s — you’re in an abusive relationship and you need to leave.
It’s not your responsibility to “save the marriage” when your life is on the line.
I kinda want to since I did like her a lot but unsure if this is a good idea or not.
It's not a good idea OP.
There are many ways that she could have gotten home after drinking too much, staying at some strange guys place (someone she had only just met) is not one of them.
But you are right in that it's the lying that just clouds everything. How can you ever be certain or sure that nothing did actually happen? You can't. It's as simple as that sadly.
For now, take some time for yourself and tel her to respect that you want to go no contact for a few weeks to get your head around it but that you can't see how you can move on from this.
The next few weeks will clarify your emotional thoughts and allow those feelings you are having die down so that your logical brain can think it through.
You are too old to be this fool , a lucky fool in this case. But you may run out of luck
You don’t go to couples therapy with people who threaten to kill you. If you’re at the point where your partner is threatening your life or someone else’s — you’re in an abusive relationship and you need to leave.
It’s not your responsibility to “save the marriage” when your life is on the line.
I kinda want to since I did like her a lot but unsure if this is a good idea or not.
It's not a good idea OP.
There are many ways that she could have gotten home after drinking too much, staying at some strange guys place (someone she had only just met) is not one of them.
But you are right in that it's the lying that just clouds everything. How can you ever be certain or sure that nothing did actually happen? You can't. It's as simple as that sadly.
For now, take some time for yourself and tel her to respect that you want to go no contact for a few weeks to get your head around it but that you can't see how you can move on from this.
The next few weeks will clarify your emotional thoughts and allow those feelings you are having die down so that your logical brain can think it through.
Not facetimed. Just voice calls so far.
But good idea, if she's receptive to a video call then I guess I can be a little – just a little – less suspicious?