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Time for you to put my tail plug in my ass [Multi Goal]
Date: October 7, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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I agree. With that money we could’ve gone away for a weekend and he could’ve had as much sex as he wanted with me.
Is this an American custom? Never heard about people doing that.
What would happen if you divorce?
This is not love, just infatuation. That's OK.
First step is to introduce yourself to determine if there's any mutual interest at all. Start with a casual conversation and respect her privacy if she prefers not to engage with you. If there's potential, ask her on a date. Good luck!
dude what are u saying lol his issue very clearly isn’t with the fact that they’re Chinese lmfao
You lost me at cisgender
yep. my husband was not exactly my type but for some reason I couldn't stop looking at his pictures. I would say in my mind ” why do I keep looking at this, he's not really that good looking and hus teeth.” but I would always go back to look. I was also a very skinny and short person. I weight 4'7 and I have a rare condition where I have a tiny head and small body. I've never thought anyone who like him, let alone want to date me. Turns out, he'd always had a crush on me during high school. we're married now and tell each other everything. He calls me cute and adorable as well as super hot. He loves it when I cuddle him. I'm usually the little spoon.
I understand. Initially I thought I was doing the right thing by reaching out, but this will be a learning lesson for me.
Good for you, OP. I am happy for you and I wish you all the best in your new life without your god-awful husband.
Honestly do you? It’s been three years and I stopped bruising but it still hurts a bit afterwards :/ I want to be comfortable not about to cry because of it and this is when we go slow and steady the entire 15 minutes (I can’t even deal longer than 20min because it starts hurting more)
Just remind him, my partners dad owed me money for some cat food, went to do it, got distracted and paid me back 3 weeks later, it happens
Excuse me?! LET YOU?!? You are TWENTY years old… The fact that you are still letting your strict , conservative parents dictate who you date is gross as fuck. Grow a backbone. If I were your boyfriend and I found out that you'd been hiding our relationship from your parents for FOUR years I'd be absolutely furious especially since he apparently thinks they know… How did that happen I wonder?! When you guys started dating you were 16, so I get it… But you've been a legal adult for two years now. I don't know that your relationship with him will actually work out because it's a relationship that has a MASSIVE LIE at the center. Best of luck to you, I guess.
Yes I am I’ve always been iconic and memorable in every group or place I’ve been. Everyone at my work knows me, I can talk to people easily have good people skills, I’m always memorable, even at a young age everybody at school knew who I was. So obviously my kids are just as special as me. We are just iconic.
OP what’s the update?? PLEASE I HOPE YOU’RE DOING OKAY AFTER THIS
So last night I found out that my fiancée has 45k in credit card debt.
The debt isn’t the problem. Hiding the debt from you is the problem. She had debt and then took out another loan without telling you.
She was talking about finding a second job. But I need to see you pull off the first one.
Do not marry her until she can demonstrate that she is stable and able to hold her job. You absolutely do not have to help her pay her debt now, but if you marry, then you’ll assume part of that debt.
I liked your approach, it fits my style as well, but obviously he’s very different, he likes the ”just move on approach”, usually this is because he knows he get too emotional and hung up on it and can’t/won’t change his view, and more he spends thinking about it worse it will get. Since he think it can’t be resolved and will only get worse, just moving on and not think about it will save the situation.
To him it’s simply the only way he sees it deescalate.
Personally I am not a big fan of the whole shove it under a rug thing. But I have been in relationship with someone who did and it was ”fine”, it was not why we broke up.
If you’re okay with it you should be fine. Just know that it will likely be very similar in all these situations. People don’t change their communication style very easily.
If you’re not okay with it then, you would have to see if he’s willing to try different approach if not then your choice is to breakup I guess.
In the end it’s all how you feel about it, and we can just give our perspective.
It’s cultural in some countries. Ppl live with family and you can’t have ppl over before marriage. Hotel rooms are very very normal in those corcimstances
omg. I can´t believe I have to clarify this but I guess that´s on me, cause I forgot the comma in my last comment. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. I am talking about MY intentions. And yes, believe it or not but my intentions matter. I am being called a “home wrecker” for wanting to be friends with a guy – seriously? Some people on here will say anything for attention.
It is very common for cousins to experiment between themselves during their upbringing. But this is observed earlier in the childhood, when kids discover their body but don't understand sex yet (often starts before puberty). This behaviour stops quite naturally with the notion of sex, puberty and taboo.
Here it is different, they had that sexual relationship quite late. In my country this isn't considered assault because the age of consent isn't 18, so just based on the ages, you couldn't just talk about SA.
So from my pov, there are two possibilities:
-either she was indeed victim of SA and has tried ever since tonconvince herself that she was willing because she can't face the fact that she was SAd by her cousin (or even the fact that she didn't fight back, there are many reasons for which victims stay in denial). In that case, she needs help to work that out, therapy, and a clear cut from that man and everyone that would insist on her staying in contact
-or she was a willing consenting party to the relation. In that case, she has to treat him as a former sexual partner and depending on your boundaries regarding former partners, it would make sense to limit, or eve' cut off, contact.
Either way, she has to understand that her past also impacts you because eventhough it was before you coming into her life, the fact that she is still in contact brings her past into her present.
I have 2 cousins who did the dirty together. They kinda fell out of contact. They will interact like nothing ever happen and be close when we are all together, but won't keep in touch that much outside of family events
Don't you think that a therapist who is legally bound to keep your secrets might get a pass on the whole “tell anyone” thing? It sounds like she just doesn't want people in her life knowing, but a therapist is not someone in her life, and they can help you work it out.
He is not obliged to lust for it, just masturbate.
We have a son, but he is only 2 months old. He does childcare yes, but it's also true that it”s more the fun Part. But then it's also only been two months… I really don't know…
Why are you doing a promo????
Oh come on. You’re not in her position so it’s easy to say how you would react when you’ve never been faced with this. Not to mention everyone responds to trauma differently…some people desperately need to talk through things as they happen and others isolate. Some people take more time to process details of situations when they’re still in the middle of it when someone on the outside can see it clear as day. This is something that she might be reluctant to share with friends/family for multiple fairly obvious reasons. It can feel easier to talk to strangers who aren’t connected to the situation. Your comment is so ridiculous “well this is how I would react so OP’s reaction doesn’t make sense!” I really don’t think it’s fair to judge her reaction like this.
Yeah I agree. The bandmate was only my gift/ticket out of a shitty marriage but he turned out to be a really good person for me.
Yeah I agree. The bandmate was only my gift/ticket out of a shitty marriage but he turned out to be a really good person for me.
Maybe he's a repressed homosexual and feelings of guilt are leading to this behaviour
When you have a partner (a serious partner, I don’t mean just a casual relationship) the two of you are a team. When someone hurts them, they hurt you. You also work together to get tasks done and take care of responsibilities.
The way you are describing things I think you are misusing the term honesty. For instance, you forgot to get money from your girlfriend. Despite claims that money is not an issue for you or your parents this was a thing. Instead of admitting you forgot to pick up the money you lied and threw your girlfriend under the bus and said she failed to pitch in. You also say you are to much of a goody-two-shoes to stand up to bullying behavior – when maybe you mean you are scared of your parents?
I don’t mean to be rough on you. I just think you need to take a serious look at yourself and your choices. You may not be ready for a grown-up relationship or to be a partner until you can be an independent person.
I've mentioned this countless of times, very gently and sometimes more harshly, because it can be sensitive for anyone
Might be time to leave then, unless you're willing to put up with this for the rest of your life. You can't make him change, and talking to him about it countless times hasn't changed anything…
He dumped you and ghosted.
Understanding who is wrong here
This is why people who are barely adults shouldn’t get married. If she’s already jealous of a pillow, batten down the hatches for the future..get into therapy together for counseling or do yourself a favor, get divorced, put this farce behind you and enjoy your 20’s
Jesus this is such a sad and pathetic response. You’re 20 fucking years old. You’re not gonna be the miracle couple that hates each other busy also stays together forever, so just admit that you made a mistake and go be a damn kid.
What now?! Im not even going to read past the title of your post, because she cheated on you and got pregnant and then eliminated said pregnancy. What the hell would you even consider anything but dumping her ass as the only option?!
If you've known her for a while, then it should be fine to talk to her about it. You're both grown adults.
I had a similar situation once, and I told my best friend. She told me she did not feel the same way, and she hoped we could still be friends like usual. I told her of course we can. Because I never did anything with those unwanted feelings, and I didn't give it time to let it grow on me.
The faster you do it, the easier it gets. If you wait, those feelings will grow. Better to get an easy and fast rejection and work it out together so you can let it go.
How is this any different to a woman dyeing her hair purple or shaving her head no way would the advice be she will act right once she is horny enough!
Do you have significant debt? Do you have significant savings? Are you both putting money into a retirement account every year?
If you have little debt, decent savings, and a retirement account, her desire for more money is irrational.
Either she is being wholly irrational about finance or she is looking for something else at the strip club that is not money.
Thanks for the message. Yeah there is one more piece of information I didn't add on the post that could add some clarity. But last time she was in this city she stayed at her female friends house. From what I understand the reason she decided to stay at his place this time is because he was included on this ski trip (her female friend doesn't ski). Overall I am not very jealous. It's actually her who's been more jealous than the other way around. I got to meet a couple of her male friends most of whom have girlfriends etc… And it's been great. I think the relationship was going well, nothing too noteworthy in my opinion.
His reaction was a cocaine reaction.
Running downstairs to air your dirty laundry and get your friends go back you up is a cocaine reaction.
It’s not the reaction of someone who is tipsy and has allergies.
Well because your version of a breakup is not what a lot of peoples are, but thats ok. You’re allowed to feel like you shouldn’t be in contact with someone after breaking up. So because you feel that way and he doesn’t it means its on you to standup for what you need from the breakup for your own mental well-being. It still doesn’t mean he didn’t end things with you. It simply means he ended things but still views you as someone he cares about and as a friend and wants to stay in touch. It means he recognizes his desire to be with you, it hurts him, but cant right now so instead the next best thing for him is to breakup while remaining friends. A lot of people do this. But since you cant dont and dont be so hard on yourself. Its fine if you need to end contact for you. Just let him go though because hanging on will just conflate the relationship (friendship vs romantic) for you
make them dance with each other while you watch. call it a new tradition.
Yes be worried. She leaves that job at a minimum.
You're a few months in, what do you want exactly? Just chill and enjoy things right now, don't worry about deeper commitments yet.
He's gross and you know it and you're covering for him because you would be embarrassed for other people to find out he's such a dud.
Save yourself a few bucks and drop this user loser.
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Basically title. The thought about some other dude getting down on my gf alone disgusts and grosses me out so much. I'm strictly monogamous as has been our relationship of a few years.
What are my options? Should I agree to it for the sake of not losing the relationship? Will my mind be able to handle that psychological pressure? I'd be allowed to have sex with girls too myself but am grossed out at that thought too. Help me pls, give me advice!
I wouldn't want her to, but I'd have to accept that. I understand how this could be a huge deal breaker because we didn't want children, but I can't leave my daughter to be in that situation.
You are already doing it.
But I feel sad as he’s genuinely the best person I’ve ever met and I want him to know this.
You can tell him that – and please do – but you can't make him believe it. You are telling him he is handsome, you help him deal with his acne, you are loving him. You think the world of him. He can lean on you and trust you support him. But that is as far as it goes.
Thing is, you can't change his feelings on this point and you can't manage his emotions for him. He has to face them himself. This is work he has to do, and he may have to do it in therapy.
Support him, listen to him, talk to him, by all means. But the rest has to come from him.
No, you don’t. You could literally just dump him, he knows what the issue is but refuses to do better.
You aren’t his mother, why are you letting him treat you like you are? This will not get better, you’ve already shown him that his slovenly behavior is not a deal breaker for you, so why would he work on it?
OP, I'm reading your comments. Relieved that you're choosing you, and I really only hope you the best. Break ups suck, no matter how fuckin valid they may be for happening. You seem really mature and intuitive and you deserve waaaay more than the weird, childish mind games.
Serious question – if you went out to buy ice cream, and saw the ice cream parlor was on fire, would you still go inside?!?!
He's a disgusting loser.
Just because someone isn't mean to you doesn't mean they're good for you.
He's sucking the life out of you and you know it.
What's more to wonder…
Get outa there. Don't waste your 20s on this.
The “drunk on all dates” IS CREEPY and unhealthy af and you still don’t see it. And are arguing with everyone who is giving you the very advice you sought by posting here. You are a lost cause if you don’t address your own damn self. Take it or leave it, seek therapy.
Okay, I would suggest putting this decision onto your GF & her parents. Since you & your GF know what happened, and you want to make her parents comfortable.
Maybe they’ll find the humor in it and not be bothered by it…
Maybe they’ll want to not call attention to it…
Etc.
The plan would be to put her parents the one in control of this situation.
Have your GF give them a call about it and let them decide what to do.
GF on phone with them: I accidentally elbowed … and gave him a black eye. Right now, we’re trying to decide what’s best to do for tonight. Should we make alternate plans?
Sounds like he’s insecure. Maybe approach a conversation a little differently to get to the heart of real reasons.
I'm a married 30 something in a 10 year marriage with a house, and I relocated across the entire world for my husband. Trust me when I say I understand the pitfalls of divorce and that it is not EASY.
I have advocated divorce a LOT in aita and relationship advice and it's not because I “don't know what it's like to have a marriage”. It's because the majority of the time when people post on Reddit they're at their last wits and desperate for help, because their relationships are nightmares and they don't know what to do and they DO in fact know how hard it is to leave a marriage, all the stigma and sense of failure that comes with it. And sometimes they need to be told it is OK to leave when your husband is abusive, when your husband is selfish and doesn't lift a hand to help you ever, when you know your life will be better, because you are drowning and your spouse keeps holding your head under. Divorce isn't always the answer because sometimes it is just uncharacteristic ONE TIME things. But most of the time when I read women's accounts, it is not a 1 time thing. It is a pattern. Or it is egregious, or it is abuse. When someone is abusive there is no bridge to be built, there is only an exit sign.
She gave you no reason, and validated your feelings by deleting and blocking those people. It's in the past for her and you must let it die too.
You're probably feeling very jealousy, it's going to get better as long as you leave those things alone.
I do eat it, even though I wouldn’t make it myself, I actually appreciate it and eat it. What bothers her is the fact that I don’t show it like she wants me to. That’s kinda the issue.
This is what it’s seeming like.
keep the games, buy your own switch.
put his in the box to sick kids.
—
alternatively, go together to buy new or used games and donate those to sick kids.
Seems like your relationship isn’t practical and he has zero guilt about your struggle.
Is there any point dating someone with out empathy, understanding or attempt to assist? This won’t change. If it’s bad now, it will always be a problem.
Idk it’s like how I don’t do mushrooms and I think it’s dangerous but I appreciate people that research them, take that drug, etc. I would be friends with a stripper I just don’t want to participate or have my partner participate in what they’re doing. Cause it makes me uncomfortable.