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alexyferrer chat
Date: September 25, 2022
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alexyferrer chat
I’m sorry this happened to you , this means the next best person will be coming one day . I hope you find happiness
Unless his gang is the backyardigans, I would say no.
I’ve definitely been taken advantage of for being nice, but even in hindsight I’d rather be too nice than be shitty to people. But I do think you can learn from not moving in and sharing bills without putting things in writing. And if it ever got worse than this? Courts do not like to straighten these things out. So lesson learned on that. Put things in your name and put things in writing
I mean I guess you can hire an escort? Seems like that’s a lot of money to spend to make your ex think you have a GF? And would it work?
He sounds like the run of mill man child. I’m sorry you’ve got to deal with that. Best of luck.
I would recommend creating some distance from her. Try to maintain a friendly work relationship, but limit the emotional conversations and contact outside of working hours. By maintains this level of emotional closeness, you are setting yourself up for pain and disappointment as you become further and further invested. If she is truly unhappy in her marriage, she can pursue a divorce and you can pursue something with her at that time if you still have feelings. But admitting your feelings or pursuing a relationship now will likely end in heartbreak for all involved.
You need fucking psychological help.
Throw the wife away
Hope OP sees this comment
From what I can understand is Tom isn't loyal to his wife, he needs a excuse to cover his actions it seems. Now whether he did something before that or not is the question I can not answer. Sami should really tell Tom to stop that nonsense as she doesn't want a open marriage. Open marriage means he can sleep with whoever he wants and likely will end up in a divorce down the line. Sami won't help herself in court if she does participate in that, if Tom does then it will be his fault for the marriage to be broken as he would be going against her wishes as his wife.
Mark has the full right to state a open marriage would be a deal breaker for your marriage, it doesn't matter what Sami and Tom are going trough. Your marriage is with Mark, not with Sami and Tom. You vowed to Mark that you would stay loyal to him only. Please keep that in mind as Mark clearly sets a very clear boundary here. And yes, his beliefs do matter in this case. It isn't just your side counts only, a marriage means you listen to each other and don't step over each other to get what you want.
Your choices are as he stated, either be friends with Sami and Tom or drop them in favor of your marriage. Sami might be your friend, but she has no right to drag you down with her. I have a feeling Mark sees something that you can not see as you are thinking of Sami being your friend. With all due respect and regardless of Sami's past, it is not a excuse to follow a cheater, which Tom most likely is based on your story, into doing things she doesn't want to do as she claims. But clearly seems to be interested into doing or she would have had a hard 'NO!' to this. Perhaps she already tried to rope in Mark as a easier step towards this open marriage thing. Which would make things even more pressing and valid to drop her.
OP, rose colored glasses are not what you need in this moment. I urge you to listen to Mark and heat his warning. There is more going on then Sami wishes to tell you at this moment. Please choose for your marriage.
This sounds weird, but I works for me. I just remind myself that my brain won’t let me feel like this forever. Yes, you can be sad and depressed for awhile, but your brain wants to return to an equilibrium. It won’t let you be devastated for long. This intense level of upset will pass and the rest will be more manageable. Ride the wave and you will reach the shore.