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alexa_allanof, 22 y.o.
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Date: December 19, 2022
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Do you have any idea what it’s like being in the military, especially as an 18 year old kid? Look up boot camp, base restrictions, education, etc. If he has any free time at all, of course he is going to play video games with old friends if he can. He doesn’t have to time to nurture a romantic relationship. Plus you only dated for 5 months and broke up a few times. He told you how he had to ignore his ex because she kept trying to get back with him. Quit being like his ex. His job now is not a pizza parlor, it is the military and he will be there for years. Wish him luck and move on.
This. So much. Hookup sex is shallow sex and you don’t really have time to get to know a partner to have good sex, cuz they disappear. I’ve seen hot women be starfish in bed and trust me, a less hot one with good moves and feeling is WAY better.
I understand the appeal, you’re young. But if I were your age again, with the knowledge I currently possess, I’d enjoy the relationship.
And btw. It is not uncommon to have more sex while in a relationship than when hooking up
I’m thinking along these lines. Maybe she only feels the mom identity and wants to reclaim herself. OP mentions she didn’t finish college but now the world is different enough, do you need college? Maybe she’s questioning that. And who she is? I know when my kids were small, over time I had this look. Jeans, T-shirt and a ponytail. Never went to the gym anymore. Ever did most of the things I used to do. Lost my friends that did t have kids and made new friends who didn’t know the pre- mom me. Who I was and what I liked to do. And over time I forgot how to find me or recognize me. Had to reinvent all of. Find my style. Friends I liked for me not because they had a same age child. And hobbies. It took a while for me to redefine what I had become. For people to ask about me and not my child or our activities.
If his wife hasn’t found someone she interested in, which is one thing I can consider as possible for his situation, then perhaps she is going through something like what I’ve said above.
Liken this to going to a strip club to get a kleenex.