Because it's where we get along best. It's where we have most of our conversations. Also I was thinking of how she reacts to nice things I do for her and I think it would be hard for her not to pull my pants down after I asked her. She's a very sexual person so I would guess 30 seconds after I give it to her depending on where the kids are sleeping we'll either make love in the bed or on the couch. Maybe she would make my day and let me see her ass in a thong or lingerie
100%. The people talking about how they’d easily cut their parents off IF they ever acted like this forget they likely also had a lifetime of being raised by parents who taught them they had a right to boundaries. When you grow up being guilted and punished and having love withheld if you don’t give your parents a second life to live vicariously through even as a small kid, it’s way harder to even see that’s happening much less breakaway from a lifetime of their toxic training. Learning to set healthy boundaries is still the right thing to do but I don’t understand why people are downvoting OP for being honest about the fact that it’s a scary and hard thing to do.
Reddit always thinks the worst of everyone. Because no one ever fails to consider that something may upset another person. That has never happened ever.
It has happened and it happens all the time. If a coworker asked me for a ride home. I wouldn't even consider their gender in the decision.
The idea that everyone should just know the mind of everyone else beforehand is silly.
If my SO drove a make coworker home. I'd not care. Because I trust them not to get hot and sweaty with someone on the way home. If you don't have that trust in your SO. Then it's a different problem, in my mind.
You've been together for FIVE years. If she seriously wants you to get a background check, she can run one herself. Employers do it all the time. As far as therapy, if she's asking you to go, she should as well. Yes, women are usually abused more. But, when men are abused, it's often more difficult because women can easily flip the script and act like the victim.
You’re also speaking from a place of bias from your trauma. You need to acknowledge that this has just happened for this person and being told something isn’t the same as taking time to understand and process
Is there any chance that they think he doesn't like them, since you usually attend events without him? I don't know why he'd need to be explicitly invited after 15 years together. It might be that they just assume that if he had wanted to come, he would have, and that you coming alone was an indication that he didn't want to be included in family events. Their comment about someone staying with the dog seems to imply that they think that he'd rather spend time at home with the dog than be with them, and maybe they resent that.
Do your parents explicitly invite your sister's boyfriend, or does she take the lead in making sure that they know he will be accompanying her? Is it possible that you've been the one creating this issue by not treating him as your automatic plus one? My family doesn't invite my partner to anything, but if I didn't bring them they would be surprised and disappointed. My sister doesn't bring her partner to anything and we always take that to mean that he didn't want to come and spend time with us.
Does she like you giving her oral?
Because it's where we get along best. It's where we have most of our conversations. Also I was thinking of how she reacts to nice things I do for her and I think it would be hard for her not to pull my pants down after I asked her. She's a very sexual person so I would guess 30 seconds after I give it to her depending on where the kids are sleeping we'll either make love in the bed or on the couch. Maybe she would make my day and let me see her ass in a thong or lingerie
100%. The people talking about how they’d easily cut their parents off IF they ever acted like this forget they likely also had a lifetime of being raised by parents who taught them they had a right to boundaries. When you grow up being guilted and punished and having love withheld if you don’t give your parents a second life to live vicariously through even as a small kid, it’s way harder to even see that’s happening much less breakaway from a lifetime of their toxic training. Learning to set healthy boundaries is still the right thing to do but I don’t understand why people are downvoting OP for being honest about the fact that it’s a scary and hard thing to do.
Thank you! He could have come over and talked to me- but I definitely get the vibe he's “parenting” me.
Reddit always thinks the worst of everyone. Because no one ever fails to consider that something may upset another person. That has never happened ever.
It has happened and it happens all the time. If a coworker asked me for a ride home. I wouldn't even consider their gender in the decision.
The idea that everyone should just know the mind of everyone else beforehand is silly.
If my SO drove a make coworker home. I'd not care. Because I trust them not to get hot and sweaty with someone on the way home. If you don't have that trust in your SO. Then it's a different problem, in my mind.
Is she a friends or a “friend”? Do you have any romantic feelings for each other?
You've been together for FIVE years. If she seriously wants you to get a background check, she can run one herself. Employers do it all the time. As far as therapy, if she's asking you to go, she should as well. Yes, women are usually abused more. But, when men are abused, it's often more difficult because women can easily flip the script and act like the victim.
You’re also speaking from a place of bias from your trauma. You need to acknowledge that this has just happened for this person and being told something isn’t the same as taking time to understand and process
No, I'm agnostic and she's atheist
Literally gets nothing from it outside of thid odd app. Im so glad theres not a market for reddit accounts
Damn. Thanks for the advice. You too real for me though
Is there any chance that they think he doesn't like them, since you usually attend events without him? I don't know why he'd need to be explicitly invited after 15 years together. It might be that they just assume that if he had wanted to come, he would have, and that you coming alone was an indication that he didn't want to be included in family events. Their comment about someone staying with the dog seems to imply that they think that he'd rather spend time at home with the dog than be with them, and maybe they resent that.
Do your parents explicitly invite your sister's boyfriend, or does she take the lead in making sure that they know he will be accompanying her? Is it possible that you've been the one creating this issue by not treating him as your automatic plus one? My family doesn't invite my partner to anything, but if I didn't bring them they would be surprised and disappointed. My sister doesn't bring her partner to anything and we always take that to mean that he didn't want to come and spend time with us.
Just some food for thought.
Heed his warning. He is telling you who he is.
The thing that makes it hard, though, is that we live together.