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Room for online sex video chat AdoniRa
Model from: us
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1993-03-04
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureRomantic
Date: October 11, 2022
99% of the time it’s projections unfortunately. I just met a white dude who is in his second marriage with easily 3+ kids and he was bragging time to have had been with escorts over 500+ times. I wish I I was exaggerating. That’s the number he threw at me. :/
So if the wife isn't in the mood op isn't allowed to self pleasure?
The answer isn’t other people, it never is. Looking up other stories here may help you to see that. I was being sarcastic by telling you to do that before but you seem to not actually want to have an excuse to cheat but are struggling. So with that I will say actually look them up and see how if you actually acted on your thoughts what it could be like.
Goddamn this shit was triggering. My abusive ex who I was with for 10 years used to say basically the same thing: “if you have to ask, you’ll never know” and “if I tell you what I want/need, that means it’ll be ‘forced’ and not real”; while I was sitting there thinking “I’m not a goddamned mind reader!” If anyone ever says something like that to you, fucking run y’all.
Grown ups communicate. Grown ups work on their issues rather than assuming their partners are telepathic.
Grown ups also don’t groom and date and marry teenagers (and I say that as someone whose husband is 8 years older than me- but I was 28 and he was 36 when we met. Both adults with caterers and shit, not a barely legal teen and a middle aged person!)
you are just stuck in a sunk cost fallacy mindset about your relationship I think you're right. I'll try to look at the positives and takeaway of our relationship.
you made a lot of decisions based on what is best for 'the relationship' instead of what you actually want for yourself Not entirely true; Yes, I contorted my life to allow our relationship to grow. I wanted to transfer colleges, I wanted to move in, I wanted a relationship… but I was shortsighted and never considered the effects of these decisions.
You seem to believe that you will somehow be able to conceal these thoughts and feelings This has been a characteristic of mine for my entire life. I've always been a people-pleaser/peacekeeper (narcissism trait?) to avoid conflict and to get people to like me. I've never really had hard opinions on much, so suppressing my desires for the “greater good” never bothered me much. Of course, now that I'm older I realize that suppression is just building pressure. After couples therapy, I tried convincing myself that I was compromising until I noticed that some of my feelings are absolutes, and don't particularly care to compromise; I want to move home and I don't think there's anything else I want to make up for it.
I appreciate you taking the time to read through my post and sharing your thoughts. After posting, I was scared to open reddit and revisit the post (hence the 2 week response). It's difficult for me to accept advice and everyone I've talked to has practically said the same things. I want to have my cake and eat it too, but that's simply not realistic and the situation is complicated.
While serious incompatibility could be insurmountable, we all have to compromise. Sex is sometimes relationship maintenance.
The saying that you should never have sex if you don't want to is accurate but incomplete.
If you're in a healthy relationship, and your partner wants sex more than you do, putting in effort to get yourself in the mood and figuring out what gets you there can help to find a happy medium that works for you both.
She wanted to have sex to save the relationship after it died. If she were working on it 3 months ago and demonstrating her commitment to mutual fulfillment, this might have worked out.
Of course, it might have still failed, but now we'll never know.
may I ask what about this relationship is fulfilling to you?