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Relax with me,get naughty with me,let me please you.. ready,set..orgasm! [999 tokens remaining]
Date: September 26, 2022
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Everyone will tell you no.
It sounds like your bf doesn’t see anything wrong with what his cousin did. I don’t see any other reason why he’d still be around him. Dump his nasty ass, and report the cousin.
Asexuality is a little different from other sexualities. Some people are born asexual. I'm one of them. Never cared about sex, was never interested, never looked at a swimsuit model of either majority gender and felt turned on by their appearance. Never felt like I “needed” to have sex.
Other people become asexual either due to trauma (like sexual assault) or to some other life event(potentially having a child). Some people also have sex when they're younger because they think it's expected, and then something happens that makes them think it's no longer required(like getting pregnant / getting their partner pregnant).
Honestly, since you don't seem to have any evidence of malicious intent or anything that sets off the cheater detector, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and think that maybe he just doesn't understand what the word “asexuality” means.
I almost never feel like being on my phone after so our routine has been me laying on his chest while he browses. While I’ll admit I’m okay with sometimes but ideally I’d cuddle for a bit and then do that. That would make it perfect.
No as long as it’s in a public place it’s not weird
Basically as long as other people are around
The topic is work
It’s a public place
Non of that is weird at all
I don't understand? How is it abuse? He did not throw anything at me?
Have you heard midnights, though?
/s
I heard that Taylor swift tickets were IMPOSSIBLE to get and hundreds of thousands of fans were upset that they missed out so it truly is once in a lifetime for her to be able to have secured herself tickets for the Taylor swift ERAS tour. I’m sorry but I’d miss your graduation for that too. A graduation is hours and hours of celebrating randoms she doesn’t know and 15 seconds of celebrating you, really.
I'm with OP tho. Yes, it's her right to feel however she does.
It's his right to want a partner who would stick by him when unexpected life changing news hits, that neither party can really be blamed for.
For example, if I lost a leg, it is a valid point of view if my partner decides they don't want to deal with it, decide it changes our shared future too much, etc and leave. I have the right to decide someone who would consider doing that is not right for me.
Having sex does not make you become more of yourself.
Sexuality is not a number of partners.
It's sad that it's the only thing that helps you grow in the end.
Sad and pathetic.
I don't know why you are here. What advise you seek.
He's gonna fuck men either way, you're gonna be butthurt online either way.
It's your choice, and it's very obvious you're sticking to it.
Good for you.
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He wants to believe she didn't sleep with someone else so he's trying to justify her having it without having had sex with someone else.
THIS !!!!
Your Mum is right. Don’t waste your 20’s on a broke much older man imo.
You're stringing this guy along because you don't have enough backbone to make a clear decision. That's shitty.
Either:
1) make plans to move back to this area so you can date him.
2) ask him if he'd be willing to move to your area.
3) do neither 1 nor 2. Accept that you're both adults and the situation is just out of your reach considering your stated boundary of not doing the long distance thing, and considering the time frame. Which is basically the worst way to start a relationship anyway, IMHO.
Then……. invest your valuable time attention, emotional energy from your tank, concerns and damns- given to approach other members of the opposite sex in your general area.
Then stop orbiting around him like the moons of Jupiter.
4) Or else, be willing to go back on y our boundary and do the long distance thing after all, even though that's the worst option in my opinion.
Pick 1-4. Then let the sound of your shoes hitting the pavement do most of the talking.
I think you do a great job here of being accountable and really putting her well-being at the forefront with the language you use, but without demonizing yourself or exaggerating your guilt or wrongdoing to escape feedback. It speaks very well for you as a partner! I wouldn't change the tone of the message at all. If I was going to nitpick, I would just tweak a couple things.
I would strike “under duress” which implies animosity, and replace with “in the heat of the moment” or similar.
I would change “I can push past my stuff a lot easier” to “my stuff isn't as impactful in everyday situations”, to avoid any chance of her hearing it as “you're not as good at dealing with it as I am”.
I would add something that gives her an opportunity to tell you what she needs in her own words. Maybe something like: “I'm coming to you with a plan for how I'm going to do better, because it's important to me that I get this right, and that you know I'm thinking of you. However, this is all based on my own reflection and assumptions, so if I've got something wrong or there's something more helpful I can do, I hope you'll share that with me and trust me to listen.”
We’re moving into a new place together far away from her parents, going to get her engaged soon, can show 10-15k any day of the week, helping her ….every promise I’ve made, I’ve kept and acted on. Never left a card unturned…
Emotional manipulation 101.
Honestly as someone who has also dealt with this, I would just tell them the door is always open for them to have more time with their grandchildren. It's not your responsibility to foster the relationship between them.
If they're upset with how the relationship has played out between them and their grandchildren, it's on them.
You can set your phone to not accept “no caller ID” numbers. You can set a filter on your email so that every email from him goes directly into the trash. As for your car, park in a different location and let your company know that he is not allowed around you so if he ever tries to enter the building he needs to be stopped.
Absolutely stop this. NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE in this world deserves to have you or your body when you don't feel happy or uncomfortable. Listen to what you're saying. You absolutely dread the experience with him. Don't settle yourself for less or lose your self esteem by trying to please him constantly. Why are you doing this to yourself? Will he do something to you if you say look I'm not into this? Are you able to express yourself freely around him? Can you both talk about sex openly?
Please don't cause yourself more physical or mental harm.
Oooh okay, like future future. I think I understand. If you're considering a longer term break then yeah. Both of you go act single and see where life takes you. If you reconnect in the future, that's life.
My approach is geared towards a shorter timeframe (1 – 6 months). Anything beyond that, just let each-other go and be completely free.
Wrote the below out before I understood you meant.
Shorter timeframe:
The thing is, you need to build trust if you're going to reconnect. Proving to you that he didn't go explore from now until that conversation is had… would have been a good step in rebuilding things.
For a chance at reconnecting, I am focused on her. Would he take that chance?
But I think this situation is a mess and poorly handled everywhere.
You two broke up, but were FWB. What kind of parameters is that? Sweet! I get a perk of sex without the effort/commitment? AND I get to explore the dating scene? Awesome, let me take advantage of all of that! Have you seen other people? No Have you seen other people? No Have you seen other people? No Oh shit. Her friend knows that I have seen someone else! Well, she is going to find out anyways, might as well come clean and salvage what I can. You lied this whole time!! You broke my trust! You hurt me! Please let me make it up to you. You're everything I ever wanted.
How to start making it up:
How much does he value that chance at reconnecting? Can he go independent and still be focused on you?
Anyways. I still lean towards against it. It will probably do you good to shake your life up and try something new out. Be liberated from all of these complications. Get a taste of your real independence and let go. That is my genuine advice.
That makes so much sense. I’m really proud of you for honoring yourself and dating someone even though it breaks the rules of how you were raised. I know that takes a lot of courage, to feel like you have to go against your own parents to try and find happiness.
I do hope you figure it out. I’m not the one to say if he’s right for you or not, I just hope that if you do stay it’s because he comes back saying, “No, life without you sucked. I’m really in love with you. Yes I’m sure about you.”
“Hey, I’m getting a different vibe from you lately. Is something bothering you? I’m available if you want to talk about it.”
If he wanted to see you, he would be making the effort to see you. Either he’s got some doubts about the relationship through the rough patch you’re having or there’s something else going on with him. The best thing to do is to open up communication about it.
If you're looking for a relationship, don't have sex on the first date. Don't go to their house, don't have them at yours, make them take you out at least 3 times. The players will have moved on by then
Well get used to it because she already broke up with you. 99.9 relationships don’t survive the high school to college transition and the ones that do normally include sheltered weirdos. She’s doing you a favor.
Turing test L
Hey. I did exactly this. I was very straightforward. Once he picked the phone up off the floor, it was an enthusiastic yes. It worked great until he caught feelings. But. It’s 15 years later and we are still friends. Go for it.
In Canada this is definitely something to go to the law about. Sorry this happened to you. As someone who also does NOT want to carry kids, I can't imagine how scary this must be- especially coming from someone you're supposed to trust.
That was, however, until I sat and tidied his entire desk without any help from him just to be told he “didn't appreciate it yet” and would “probably appreciate it later”.
What the fuck. This is such a weird thing to say to someone.
Guess he'd just better not act shocked when you stop thanklessly cleaning up after him. If he doesn't appreciate not having to do it himself, then mazel tov. Enjoy the work, dude. All yours.
Your boyfriend is telling you he’s not going to enforce boundaries and he doesn’t care.
She’s the other woman and he’s dating her. If he’s going out to bars with her and hanging out and you’ve never met her then she doesn’t know he’s dating you. If he says he told her then he’s lying. None of this is reasonable behavior.
Dump him and move on.
I guess everyone reacts differently. But letting your bil kiss you for a few seconds tho? It really begs the question if there isn't more happening. If he managed to get a quick peck on the lips that's one thing, but the way it was described in the post is a bit fishy imho
This dude sucks
Through our bleeding, we are one!
Then keep the child. It is clear to everyone here that the day you found out your husband slept with a mutual friend a week after initiating a separation is the day your marriage died. There's no marriage left to save.
No, I don't like this double standard. If a woman hires someone to find out if her husband cheated man always gets all angry and everyone says it okay to leave her for beeing paranoid.
But if a man does that it's okay and woman should be happy about beeing accused of cheating?
I read at book at 6 and at 9 when it came I knew exactly what to do. All I know, it came from books. Never wanted to go to a Sex Ed at school because it was too embarrassing, yet I knew better than my classmates.
That's not why I got married.
Thanks… I travel for work quite a bit, I'll add that to the queue
I feel in control of my substance use sorry, more clarification was needed then lol.
Yeah that’s what I’m struggling with! Wow, right on the point that I couldn’t figure out. I’m not sure if I want to leave them or just be more firm with what I want to do. I don’t know if they’ll like all the things I want to do though that’s why I’m thinking it might be better to break up, but our lives are so intertwined and the rental market is so competitive and expensive right now. I’m not sure how I’d navigate that.
I do need to be open with all of this though ahah it might even be okay in the end. I also know this doesn’t help the situation, but I don’t mind using substances a lot. I feel less on edge when I can choose what I can do. Ugh I need to say this all better but it’s the best I can do right now.
Thank you for your comment! Helps me process ❤️?
Your future at that program should be your biggest priority.
I'll try to say that I'm uncomfortable next time. Thank you!
AAHHA please read my new post
Yeah it’s still not ok. Even if they thought you did it out of malice the lead should have called you to their office and talked to you in person instead of shaming you publicly. Not to mention you’re new here and there’s all sorts of misunderstandings going on.
I don't know exactly how it happened but I know they started studying in each other's rooms and then were fwb shortly after that so I didn't think it was such a drastic step.
Point out his “jokes” when he says them and make him explain it in front of everyone.
“Why did you say that?”
“it was a joke.”
“i don’t get why (repeat his joke) was funny?”
after he tries to explain tell him his jokes aren’t funny and you hoped he didn’t stay up all night writing them.
They’re late 20s FFS. Far more normal to have had sexual experiences by then, whatever your culture.
It's your wife who needs a talking-to, not her son. It's his birthday, he has made very clear that he doesn't want to make a big day of it. I understand that your wife is disappointed, but she's a grown woman. She can regulate her feelings, you can validate her disappointment, her son can have the birthday he truly wants.
To answer your question, maybe you should try to experiment by yourself. Perhaps even try toys and see if this is something you can relax and get pleasure from.
And that's the thing. Your pleasure comes first (no pun intended). That also means not just doing it because you're being manipulated, harassed or shamed.
Talk with your bf about his disgusting and shaming behaviour. Don't stand for it for one moment longer.
He's probably doing this with every woman he chats with online.
While you might change your mind in the future (or not, not all women want kids and that decision is absolutely valid), if he wants them in the foreseeable future and you don’t, then maybe you’d both feel comfortable with likeminded partners.
Thaie are easy times. It's tough times like this that have people show their true colors. He's showing his, when people show you who they are believe them
Too bad that when I told her that I think we should end things she asked if she could let me use the car to make everything better. Thanks for the advice, saying that I should end it actually got the desired outcome.
Don’t date liars or cheats. She’s at least a liar.
Your mother is wrong and you are not measured by your uterus and it is not OK for her to try to make you feel pressure like that. Your mother is incorrect every single person I know that opened up their marriage ended up destroying it ! every single one.
I'd be ol with just going into menopause and at least not having the damn periods on top of the perimenopause bullshit.
I feel like what’s being missed in these comments is this scenario: you are dating someone you feel meh about, continuing to go along with it but staying open bc you know they’re not someone you want an exclusive relationship with; then someone you REALLY LIKE comes along who you REALLY DO want a relationship with. But you don’t know if they want the same thing – in fact, you could be their “meh” person, you haven’t talked about it – so you keep seeing your “meh” person because you want something familiar to fall back on if this new person ends up hurting you. But then once you’re feeling more confident / aligned with the new person, you drop the meh person. Then a few months later you’re in a relationship – high fives all around.
If it’s unfair to anyone, you could argue it’s unfair to the “meh” person you were technically leading on. But is this history a reason for the new person to doubt the strength of your relationship? Definitely not, at least in my opinion. Maybe without the experience of dating someone you don’t have strong feelings for, it’s hard to imagine this?
Not at all! If you haven’t read Emily Nagoski’s book, she’s got a great model of arousal that best explains my intent.
So basically.
You are a broke tech worker who wants a housewife. But you aren't bringing in the dough and now you're trying to act like she needs to work, go to school, deal with her health issues, and split the bills….
I'm actually amazed that she hasn't broken up with you yet.
There’s a lot more comments but I can’t see them at all
Leave it alone. She has your number, she knows you're interested. Ball's in her court. Don't listen to your friends. Being pushy will only turn her off.
I personally believe that sex cannot be withheld. This is just consent pure and simple. If your conditions for sex are not met, you do not consent, and choose not to have sex.
Anyone who claims this is manipulative is just calling themselves out. She is mad she can't use you.
If she doesn't know who put it there… who does she say did? The 'bills fairy'?
Do you pay for most / all of your encounters? Do you make more money than her?
I'm assuming there's a reason why she put the descriptor that you pay for shit.
The blatant bullshit about not knowing is why I would walk.
I would not date someone who didn’t kiss after oral….
Breakup worthy for me for sure