Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
Why does he have Tinder in the first place if he is with you? And sure Tinder can be hacked just like anything else, but there is not to much to gain from hacking someones Tinder.
Why does he have Tinder in the first place if he is with you? And sure Tinder can be hacked just like anything else, but there is not to much to gain from hacking someones Tinder.
Can you link a few examples of this sub suggesting happily married couples with a planned pregnancy and no signs of cheating are told to get a paternity test?
Or are you talking about completely different circumstances that don't compare to this post?
I know a guy that did this. Left his wife who had got diagnosed with cancer in early 20s. He was cheating on her and divorced her….she ended up being cancer free and met an amazing guy and has a family.
Ironically, I think you both have a good point. I suggest bracketing for him how some of this makes you feel, but try to listen to his side too.
Case in point:
It’s the idea that he would be profiting off of me which makes me feel like I’d be taken advantage of when there’s no direct benefit to me.
Consider that most rental situations don't include utilities, and you'd pay for your own renter's insurance. $1500 is probably still a considerable savings, so there is some direct benefit to you.
I want this to be our home and to feel like we are equals in the household and paying what I consider to be more than the fair share would make me feel he’s my landlord versus his partner and that we are not on equal footing and I don’t want to set a precedent that “it’s his house so he always gets his way”.
He thinks because it would still be less than my current rent I should be fine with it but I think it creates a power imbalance.
You're not wrong here either. It absolutely could create a power imbalance, and I'm slightly concerned about the not so subtle under lying insinuation here. Namely, that he's somehow doing you a favor, and you owe him. I totally get you wanting it to be as much your place, as his, and being concerned he'll never see it that way, since he paid for it.
I'd suggest you sit down and really try to explain the second piece more. That you don't want to feel like you're just a tenant in his home. But also acknowledging that, you're not bringing equal footing, at least financially into this. It's not accurate to say you contribute equally, when he's already contributed significantly more to owning the house you live in.
Maybe he just needs to hear you acknowledge that you're aware you're not coming into the relationship on equal footing. You can do that, while also standing up for yourself and having a equitable role in the future relationship. Equity, is not equality, after all.
Oh sorry hold ?
Hello /u/Western-Horse-1127,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
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She doesn't respect you and she isn't wifey material this shit is a game to her.
Why does he have Tinder in the first place if he is with you? And sure Tinder can be hacked just like anything else, but there is not to much to gain from hacking someones Tinder.
Why does he have Tinder in the first place if he is with you? And sure Tinder can be hacked just like anything else, but there is not to much to gain from hacking someones Tinder.
Can you link a few examples of this sub suggesting happily married couples with a planned pregnancy and no signs of cheating are told to get a paternity test?
Or are you talking about completely different circumstances that don't compare to this post?
Why can't yall let each other pick your own damn clothes? Lol
I think we can both agree that diet and exercise play a crucial role. My boyfriend doesn’t drink, but he sure loves his fast food and soda.
Not even an ex – a one night stand that he saved messages from for 3 years. Examine your motivation OP. And stay in your lane.
I know a guy that did this. Left his wife who had got diagnosed with cancer in early 20s. He was cheating on her and divorced her….she ended up being cancer free and met an amazing guy and has a family.
Your sister was trying to break you up for whatever reason.
Honest to god, the absolute audacity of this man! Dating a month and he wants her to chip in for his medical bills. It’s insane.
Ironically, I think you both have a good point. I suggest bracketing for him how some of this makes you feel, but try to listen to his side too.
Case in point:
It’s the idea that he would be profiting off of me which makes me feel like I’d be taken advantage of when there’s no direct benefit to me.
Consider that most rental situations don't include utilities, and you'd pay for your own renter's insurance. $1500 is probably still a considerable savings, so there is some direct benefit to you.
I want this to be our home and to feel like we are equals in the household and paying what I consider to be more than the fair share would make me feel he’s my landlord versus his partner and that we are not on equal footing and I don’t want to set a precedent that “it’s his house so he always gets his way”.
He thinks because it would still be less than my current rent I should be fine with it but I think it creates a power imbalance.
You're not wrong here either. It absolutely could create a power imbalance, and I'm slightly concerned about the not so subtle under lying insinuation here. Namely, that he's somehow doing you a favor, and you owe him. I totally get you wanting it to be as much your place, as his, and being concerned he'll never see it that way, since he paid for it.
I'd suggest you sit down and really try to explain the second piece more. That you don't want to feel like you're just a tenant in his home. But also acknowledging that, you're not bringing equal footing, at least financially into this. It's not accurate to say you contribute equally, when he's already contributed significantly more to owning the house you live in.
Maybe he just needs to hear you acknowledge that you're aware you're not coming into the relationship on equal footing. You can do that, while also standing up for yourself and having a equitable role in the future relationship. Equity, is not equality, after all.