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mssburbuja chat
Date: October 19, 2022
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mssburbuja chat
You sound creepy as fuck and like literally any other abusive groomer.
2-4 times a week is a lot dude, I have friends that are recreational users – this isn’t it
She has played you like a fiddle! I hope you get the house in the divorce!!
You're my hero for this comment. Just figured you should know.
Dump her and move on. She’s never going to satisfy you sexually or emotionally
How old are you and him?
They're not confused, trust me.
As a bigger guy I sympathize with your man. Being on top is like planking. After some time it gets hard to keep it going.
He just cleaned the entire house as I was writing this post on edit, so yeah he’s a keeper and I got my first Reddit reality check, thanks!
That first paragraph is all kinds of wrong. Clapping back at your abuser with an emotional response is a step in the right direction & I applaud OP for standing up for himself. This woman PHYSICALLY ABUSES her husband, and continues to emotionally manipulate him while he's making every effort to be not only a provider, but a childcarer, homemaker & servant to her every whim.
Get a grip. You should be utterly ashamed of yourself.
Tell him you’re going to find someone who is “objectively” smarter than him , and move on
I second what anon18235 said. Keep your exes talk to a minimum. Not everyone likes hearing that. Also, next time ask your bf for clarification for something he said instead of coming to strangers on the internet.
You don’t sound to grear
Leave her. Once a cheater always a cheater. You'll regret it later if you don't. She fucked up hard.
You don't know what to do? Block and stop wasting your time. Seriously legit moronic to stay around this person.
Because I’m still in love with the woman I married. I want to have hope she can change and things can be the way they used to be.
True, & a lot less hassle
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But it is different. Those would be HER children. This event has nothing to do with her. Your mom is not her family.
INFO: why does your gf avoid your mom? Have you asked her? Have they ever had a disagreement?
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Yeah I’ve been through this, lived together for 1 year then moved out. We are still together. Talk every night. It just makes sense to us I suppose. We’ve been going through some rough times in the last couple of years and I mean all of us with the pandemic and all. Wild times for sure.
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If you love someone set them free…
Try to figure out why you are attracted to guys who show you they are scumbags. A Therapist could help with this.
Another yes vote from a guy.
Haha thanks, I take it as a compliment. I must've passed the reverse Turing test then.
I started my new job here 2 weeks ago! And yea I moved in with him (he takes care of all expenses)
And I totally agree, unfortunately I thought we were dating (somewhat steadily) for a year, apparently not on his end ? And yea, we have quite a difference of age – I do feel extremely taken advantage of. Just super conflicting because I feel like I do love him, and there have been signs of being more serious, but idk what to believe any more
It may be delusion but I’m just looking at how her past fling went and just think it be different. I viewed the cold shoulder as her coming more to her senses but it is odd she even needed to do that
OP you can't have it all
This whole hymen myth. Oh god. Please someone tell these ill-educated men that it can be broken by gymnastics, horse riding, tampons, anything really. It’s not 3” thick tempered steel ffs.
Tell him to do some fucking research. That’s what the internet is for.
Once it's too often.
To be honest that's what you get.
Yes you are forcing, he didn’t offer to take your name out of love, you’re pushing him to do that to prove love. Those are very different. The first would be incredibly sweet, the second is toxic.
Id just tell him straight up. Try not to “blame” him because that could provoke defensive behaviour, but beating around the bush does not help you here. Maybe try and teach him some etiquette while out. He's probably not aware that he does this but giving feedback and helping him might work!
Also, he could have someone on the side.
Also, he could have someone on the side.
They've been working out together at the OP's house. and no one is willing to give the OP information?
It's enough for me to dig further to give me peace of mind. Don't ask your husband any more questions. Work quietly. Watch out for this “nice girl,” as well—the “nice girl” who doesn't bother to mention to the OP that she's been working out with the OP's husband. I will get evidence and install a camera in the gym room. To anyone who says, “So do you think they are having sex during this 30 minutes of time where MIL was there?” Well, 30 minutes is good enough for a quickie.
I would call, because maybe the other person doesn't know and they deserve that. Or text the number with evidence of him being marriage, pictures and all
Can you imagine having a younger brother who's creeping on your private messages and is actively trying to affect your relationship… while thinking he's freaking justified to do so.
Just bizarre.
Tbh this just shows how communication does wonders in a relationship. Glad it worked out for the both of you!
Your views are the epitome of reasonable. Doing what he suggested would leave scars. It just would. Mom didn’t love us equally. She didn’t fight for us. I’m really sorry that you have to deal with this.
If he won’t budge set up your kids to get more from you. Esp since you make more. It makes zero sense. I would speak to an attorney today. You need to draw up a will anyways bring in the big guns
My mom has PCOS and it took her 8 years to have me from age 28 to 36. I have always expected that it might take me a long time to conceive and that I don’t have time to waste with partners who aren’t sure they want kids. I’m sorry to say it but you need to decide whether having kids or not is a dealbreaker and let your husband know. He might change his mind after he realizes how serious it is. You could also make him come to an appt with a fertility specialist if he won’t just believe you that you don’t have time to wait. A lot of people become single parents by choice, you’re not wrong if you prioritize having children over staying with your husband.
No such thing as a perfect household, and abuse is better because of two reasons, you’re still alive at the end of the day, and CPS exists and should be utilized.
She broke up with you. She’s young and likely not mature enough to say something like, “I think this relationship has run its course and I’m ready to move on to a new chapter in my life.” Don’t analyze her reasons (because as I said, you don’t know if they’re even the real ones) and hear her message: the relationship is over. You already felt that you were drifting apart. Now you know you weren’t the only one feeling it.
I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but keep in mind that most young love does not. People change as they grow and their needs/wants evolve as well. It’s nobody’s fault. Enjoy the memories of your good years, think on them fondly, but follow your ex’s lead and start looking to the future. Best of luck!
Just to add that I’ve found really amazing tutors for my kids online. If you have teaching experience, it would be a great way to make money and you could set your own schedule. We had a tutor on the west coast and we’re on the east! I think she had her first set of classes (1/2 hour each) before her kids even woke up!
How am I nearly 30? If I'm nearly 30, she's nearly 23.
She knew me when I was a minor too. Is she also a predator?
Try couples therapy or therapy yourself. It can do wonders for communication.
i’ve mentioned this a lot of times and he keeps telling me different.
I don't know if it's a good idea to have a conversation like that with him? As soon as he makes me feel wanted I become putty
Not reading past the first sentence, but I suggest you stop seeing this person, for your own mental and emotional wellbeing.
Is there some proof of this? A discussion that has taken place somewhere?
Your boyfriend is an idiot. Who tries to gate keep music??
Sounds like you need a reminder that your girlfriend is not your property.
for some reason i can’t see the comment?
Play the long-con, spice it up a bit
I love it when people post stuff on here that is totally one-sided, then have the balls to criticize anyone who clowned on their partner. OP, you’re the one who made the original post that people replied to. Don’t bitch out the peanut gallery.
That’s what I thought, fur in a bag is no different than ashes.
Also, OP, you can have fur made into pieces of jewelry.
You can have the fur turned into jewelry.
You've wasted enough time on this douche, drop him and find someone who will care about you and want to include you into his life.
Don't ask him, you're just giving him a means to give excuses and cover his tracks. PI first, before anything else.
He is not your boyfriend. He is grooming you for sex work.
Just say no. He’s your stepdad and you’re 19 years old. Is he really going to kick you out if you don’t submit to his weird desire to try to be a tough guy in front of your new boyfriend?
You have a sexy girlfriend! what are you complaining about?
Grow up, this is such a non issue. Is he not allowed to have female friends? If he watches a show with a woman on it, are you going to be uncomfortable with that? “You keep watching this show with a sexy woman, do you not love me”?
Oh my good God!! You’re 25! Grow up! This is not a healthy relationship and it is utterly manipulative and abusive and you know it. End it and get your shit together and do something useful with your life!
Sounds like you are married to a 33 year old child.
she is being irrational, maybe 1% of people could honestly be described as a 10/10, 8/10 is pretty damn good
I'd recommend focussing your attention on potential partners who are not your current friend's girlfriend. Feeding the drama will do nobody any good.
I am a very soft, kind, helpful and respectful person. I would never hurt a fly. But I have consumed and created very graphic friction like your bf. If he shows no indication of holding these values or wanting these things in real life I'd say its just fantasy. Incredibly private fantasy. You do not have to be scared, but you should question if you want to be with someone who is privately into this kind of thing.
You should talk to him, if you want to. Tell him you stumbled on this, and you want to know if this is comission work or personal stuff, and if he would ever want anything like this in real life. Be gentle, this is so very private and personal.
Already…Word??? Ok check this’ get a job save your 1st check and then Lawyer… you need housing’ who can you move in with???
Did you marry in Las Vegas or…
UpdateMe!
Honesty and open communication going both ways is essential to trust and is reasonable to expect from your partner.
You're posting in the wrong sub, most of the people won't understand your issues nor the words you're using re: colleges and career. Post in r/RelationshipIndia
She needs professional help. That said, you need to think about this for youself if you want to go that way woth her or not, but I also am in the opinion that a person in this state is not ready for a relationship. First she should figure herself and her problems out.
Clearly not the issues OPs girlfriend has but your comment reminded me of the movie 28 Days with Sandra Bullock. For anyone who hasn't seen it, she had to go to a rehab facility due to alcoholism. While in they essentially said that have cannot have a stable and healthy relationship until they can manage their own lives independently. They can't have a pet until they can keep a plant alive either. Then there's a part at the end where she is shopping for a plant I think and she sees someone from rehab crying at the store cause he killed the plant he had and he really wanted a pet to love. He knew this meant he wasn't ready and he was so excited already for the pet. Anyways, I'll never forget that and it rings with so much damn truth.
That's utterly insane, and surely can't be correct legally. Are you in the US? I suggest trying a different police dept
Thanks for my first big laugh of the day!
You’re right. Adding on, I think a few couples often fall for the idea of an ideal marriage which falls apart once they live together and the day to day drudgery kicks in. After which they realise how different they are from one another.
Yes I agree and I wonder if the young wife was a friend of the daughter? That would definitely explain why she was so upset and begged the wife to end the relationship
Your new mantra? “She acted like this even when I did whatever she wanted.”
Call a divorce lawyer before you do anything. Don't play into anybody's bad-wife revenge fantasy and screw yourself. For my own part, start asserting your boundaries and remember that no matter what you do, she treats you like sh*t, so you might as well do what gives you life.
Buy a dishwasher, hire a maid, cook meals that can be prepped with no effort, get a baby sitter. She'll complain, but she always does, it seems. If she bullies, namecalls, or otherwise abuses you, leave the house, write it down, and give it to your divorce lawyer for record keeping.
He could have gotten you both killed fighting, you don’t know people until you know them and sometimes knowing them is not a good thing for you.
Real life isn’t the movies, you remove yourself from situations as fast as you can.
Your father really really needs to write his will out. It will save you a lot of drama and pain assuming your brother is already trying to making moves right now to undermine you.
Thank you I don’t think you are putting me down at all. I wanted honest answers because this experienced hurt me deeply and wanted to know these questions. I will definitely require actions to match the words said. Sorry for your pain and sending over healing. Thanks for your words.
I do trust her, I just think it's odd to meet up with someone she use to sleep with for drinks and then be bothered by him not wanting to spend more time. But from the first few responses it's just me in my head. I have an anxious attachment style so it makes sense. This is why I wanted to get other opinions before I said anything.
Thanks for your input.
I have no idea what that was about, OP, but that is a seriously weird thing to do to a friend. Even if you were ok with it, you should have had some type of code or action to use if you were in danger or wanted out. His patting your mouth tape and crying is also really disturbing.
I definitely would have a conversation about it with him and would not ever do something like that again with him.
Thank you for the comment, appreciate it a lot.
You did great! I (54F) have been in a happy marriage over 30 years. I have developed crushes during that time. It’s not something I thought would be helpful to bring up to my husband because I knew what I needed to do and what it meant.
Whenever I had a crush it meant I was missing something- probably allowing myself to get too lonely in our marriage. So I knew the crush didn’t threaten my marriage- it was just a signal I needed to pay attention to. It meant I needed to ask for more time with my husband and more of his one on one attention. I would be careful to be circumspect around the crush and if needed, I would pull back and avoid them more until the feelings in my marriage were in a better place. I have a great husband. I made a great choice marrying him. Crushes are natural. If you are mature- you can spin them into making your marriage better.
I wholeheartedly agree that we shouldn't be judged by unwanted intrusive thoughts – which can happen to the best of us – but by what we do about them.
OTOH I'm not as quick to dismiss the timing as coincidental. As wedding vows are exchanged, and a life partner is chosen, the wild oats go straight to the mill, to be ground to powder, and romantic adventures come to an end. I suggest premarital counseling now – any excuse will do.
Did she tell him that BEFORE she cheated?
She’s 100% using this to punish and manipulate you. I highly doubt she’s going to be receptive to therapy because she doesn’t want to lose these feelings. They give her power, give her ammo to use against you. And she’s seen that it works the longer you’ve been together. Tell her she can get the fuck over it or you’ll get over her.
Ultimately, its your call and whether or not you can live with this. Imagine spending the next year or so constantly suspicious, fighting about trust issues, and never enjoying the full benefits of the relationship because of this. Chances are you'll break up eventually either because of this issue or the collateral damage it causes. That sounds like an exercise in prolonged misery versus a pathway to happiness for both of you. If you can't see past this, rip the band-aid, end the relationship, resolve any residual damage as a result of this (this is more about not sabotaging future relationships because of this), and I'm sure you find someone that respects you and is honest.
Have a dig into OPs comment/post history first, might shed some light on the individual posting
If this incident is making you reconsider your marriage, you might want to think about if there is something else within the marriage that is making you unhappy.
Because unless there are other factors, this seems like a “we need to have a serious conversation” rather than “should I leave him” kind of situation.
To be clear: if you are thinking of leaving your husband over this, then you might want to find out what’s gone wrong with your marriage in general. Cause it sounds like there’s a lot more going on behind the scenes which you haven’t (and should feel no obligation to) disclose.
When i say we skipped most of the dares, i mean i did two for the whole game. I did jumping jacks, and i got to kiss someone in the circle so I chose my friend. My friend also skipped most dares, she kissed him and sat on my lap for a minute. The guy’s dares was do a shot off someones chest, and then grope me, and then give the other girl a massage. We skipped all the stuff with stripping, getting naked, pictures, below the belt, and lot of other stuff.
They have each others numbers because he helped her get a job a couple years ago before I knew her
Why would you expect a surprise proposal when you’ve never talked about marriage before? That is a fairly childish way to approach a long term relationship.
Your boyfriend is a misogynist who apparently got red pilled. You don’t want the same things and he views you with suspicion so it seems like it’s time to part ways.
I mean to be fair I think it’s a bit of a red flag that you’ve been waiting for him to propose since you were dating only 3 years at 23. Your brain doesn’t stop growing until 25 and people change so much as a person between 20-25.
His misogynistic comment about marriage is not okay and if I was in your position I would breakup with him based on that alone. However, if you want to stay with him then you have to accept that marriage isn’t going to be on the table.
This sounds like an unhealthy relationship