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Date: October 18, 2022
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Let me tell you something.. That I remember now that im starting to have a clear mind to asses the relationship. Leading to the break up, my ex has been going back to his hometown for the weekend he always say, its a work trip and of course to see his friends as well.. The last time he went back there it was with me and i remember walking to this restaurant with him and said something like “I just had an interview there recently” so now thinking back, he must have been having interviews for a new job all along. He planned it all along.
People say age doesn't matter, but your situation is prime example of why it does.
You don't want marriage and kids until “late 20s early 30s”. He's IN his late 20s. He's ready. You're not at 20. You're in different stages of his life. You need someone your age, on your level.
If a guy enjoys a date with you he will most likely ask or talk about seeing you again on the first one. If they don’t text you the next day saying thanks or something it’s probably better to find a more enthusiastic man.
To me I would just split them up and tell no that's wrong and who would let her bf slow dance with her best friend to a romance song when clearly they aren't together..so your not in the wrong tbh
You need counseling
Leave him be
This will not help with anything at all. It honestly sounds like there’s a lot bigger problems between you two. If this was going on from the beginning, I question if she wants any intimacy with you at all. If it’s recent, something changed or happened. A fight, some sort of trauma-something. What you need to do is actually get to the root cause of this issue or nothing will improve.
I’d not stay friends with her. Being sad/lonely does not lead to abandonment of morals. She is the person who she is and is showing it to you.
I’d be more careful about being associated with her, given most people do think “birds of a feather…”
Big impact on trans people and how they are perceived as a whole.
I agree that in general it doesn't have an impact, but when used on the daily, it has a bit of an alienating effect on society.
Even worse when people throw away the “people” part entirely and just say “the transgenders”
I don’t think this was a personal and serious attack against Alabama …
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I needed to hear that to make sure I wasn’t going crazy! Thank you so much:)
This is true. When I was in my senior year of high school, my mom came to pick me up early one time and got yelled at by my principal who mistook her for a student and told her to get back to class. I know she is definitely someone on the extreme end of the spectrum, but even to this day people still think she's my sister or accuse her ID of being fake. Some people just look weirdly young for their age. It's a thing.
Thank you, what you’re saying makes sense.
Yes, I don’t see this going well down the line unless they both get therapy. This is a very dysfunctional relationship.
Just tell her. I don‘t think it‘s anything to be embarrassed about and honesty will make the experience just better.
22 and 26…
Been together for 5 years…
?
?
Do masseuses get this too?
Physical touch promotes the release of oxytocin. It's one of the great benefits of being able to see a massage therapist for a little extra touch, if your life is missing it from people closer to you. But as you say it is extra important to understand the boundaries there.
(This to say – yes, I am sure massage therapists get it too.)
Thanks for your perspective, that was reassuring to hear. I do think he lacks maturity in communicating his needs in general. I haven’t made up my mind about what to do yet but I’ll either have a long talk with him tomorrow in person about our expectations about communicating or just end it because I don’t think I deserve to be treated like that and I’m tired of the same thing happening.
So how’d he recently become pro life?
Alone and happy is better than miserable with someone else. Work on the happy. Hobbies and goals are your friend.
I mean if this is real, your husband is an overgrown child. But you probably already knew that.
Nice people cheat. Nice people do fucked up things all the time. Don’t be naive.
That's great news!!!
And yes baby steps are great. Maybe just start with going to the club and getting a feel for how yall both like your time there and what makes ya comfortable. Then work ya way up to more.
But yeah i know it can sound silly to put that on paper but I feel like it helps. Even if you both start with a sheet separately of 'wants' then come together to highlight the similarities. Communication is key. Especially good communication.
He's setting a boundary. Saying “I will not be in a relationship with a woman who takes her clothes off for money.” is letting her make an informed decision. She can go dance and be single, or stay in a relationship and keep that a workout.
This sounds like a great thing to try. If you look angry and are antisocial people are going to make assumptions about you regardless of how young your wife looks
He takes care of our son after work so I can't complain, he just goes to bed at a certain time and I stay up.
I've told him many times, he knows. He keeps saying he'll sleep with me, but he usually doesn't follow through. I honestly want him to want to more than to force it on him. I'm questioning if there's something wrong with me. I am overweight but so is he, and it was the case when we met. The biggest change in our relationship is that we had a child that has severe autism and needs to be watched non stop.
I’ll give just about anyone a reference. I’ll pretend to be a coworker or boss where I’ve never even worked to vouch for someone to get a job. Lots of my friends and acquaintances have the same sentiment. If someone wants to work, why not help them get a job? I’ve been a hiring manager at a few places as well and lots of people fake way worse than a professional reference to cover a weak spot. I reckon it isn’t ethical, but it isn’t malicious either.
Let's not beat around the bush…time to get good with the toys. They are always an ally after all.
This was also one of my ideas about what is going on. Something with the urethra or butthole, maybe. I’m a retired psychologist and my first thoughts were drugs, sexual behavior, self harm, or hemorrhoids, given his behavior & reluctance to talk about it.
Dude needs to fess up and he needs to clean up after himself better.
He betrayed your trust by not telling you.
If you don't do it you will always wonder what if and could possible be wasting more years with a cheater.
When you can get her side to see if he was being inappropriate, then you can move on
My advice never fall so hard so early. You’re hurt over someone you weren’t in a relationship. I understand it’s confusing & can be a bummer because of the potential you seen in your future with her, but in my opinion you should be happy that you got rid of someone who wasn’t really interested as you were in them. We’re in the same age group, but I’ve had this happen to me at a younger age. I’ve been here before, and I can tell you man if she’s hurting you already imagine the pain she’d put you through down the line? The greatest part about this is there are other women out there who love consistency, and would be happy to enjoy a fella like you.
The guy decided to not be himself to be what his wife wanted.
One thing is to make chances to be a better person/ partner, other completely different is to change 100% of you are at once to satisfy someone else. There’s no way such a complete chance is healthy for his mental health
Yeah I was thinking her responses sound like me talking to my toddler lol
Do NOT go, you are NOT obligated to go. Ignore him, block him and everything to do with him, he's a manipulative POS who knows your weakness'. Get him out of your life like yesterday.
yup! I support it. be a good best friend & tell him.
Huh… well that's an idea… A very cowardly one.
Hey man, call RAINN 800-656-4673 (rainn.org) and talk to an expert about this. Don’t allow Reddit to have you jump the gun. This is trauma for you too. Take care.
OP you need an abundance mentality. Stop putting people on a pedestal after 1 meeting.
This. Be an adult.