He’s in his mid 30’s, doesn’t know how to communicate, and ran away from his problems. He even dated after ghosting you, he’s treating you like backup/last resort.
You may still have feelings for him, but is it worth getting hurt by him again if you choose to move back?
What are his parents like? Have you observed their “manners”? He may just have never learned them, and never had them pointed out. Or had them lightly pointed out but figured it wasn’t a big deal.
Manners are kind of weird because they’ve changed and kind of change place to place.
When I was a kid you NEVER put your elbows on the table, like, anywhere. And most people put their napkins in their laps if they were supplied like that. Now days I would say a large majority of people feel comfortable setting elbows on the table except maybe 40-50+ adults. I’m really glad that’s not a thing anymore, as long as you’re not slouched all over the table honestly it’s convenient to rest my forearms on the edge occasionally. Napkins though I always put down still. But I see a lot of people who don’t, or sometimes when they’re not getting messy foods which I suppose is fair. They always fall on the floor anyways.
But anyways. Manners are taught and learned. He may be dismissing them because he doesn’t realize people are actively judging him for it. Or he’s the type to not care what people think at any stakes.
And even if he and his family were very close knit and he was the apple of their eye and vice versa, I am not a big fan or comfortable with who is grieving the most contests. I lost a boyfriend to a car accident (he and his father both killed on impact) when I was 16. It was very hard on me and I was a big mess. His family was devastated too. I think with grief, rather than the whose grieving more argument it’s better to look at it as all those close to him are grieving, but different types of grief for the different types of relationships had.
He’s in his mid 30’s, doesn’t know how to communicate, and ran away from his problems. He even dated after ghosting you, he’s treating you like backup/last resort.
You may still have feelings for him, but is it worth getting hurt by him again if you choose to move back?
What are his parents like? Have you observed their “manners”? He may just have never learned them, and never had them pointed out. Or had them lightly pointed out but figured it wasn’t a big deal.
Manners are kind of weird because they’ve changed and kind of change place to place.
When I was a kid you NEVER put your elbows on the table, like, anywhere. And most people put their napkins in their laps if they were supplied like that. Now days I would say a large majority of people feel comfortable setting elbows on the table except maybe 40-50+ adults. I’m really glad that’s not a thing anymore, as long as you’re not slouched all over the table honestly it’s convenient to rest my forearms on the edge occasionally. Napkins though I always put down still. But I see a lot of people who don’t, or sometimes when they’re not getting messy foods which I suppose is fair. They always fall on the floor anyways.
But anyways. Manners are taught and learned. He may be dismissing them because he doesn’t realize people are actively judging him for it. Or he’s the type to not care what people think at any stakes.
And even if he and his family were very close knit and he was the apple of their eye and vice versa, I am not a big fan or comfortable with who is grieving the most contests. I lost a boyfriend to a car accident (he and his father both killed on impact) when I was 16. It was very hard on me and I was a big mess. His family was devastated too. I think with grief, rather than the whose grieving more argument it’s better to look at it as all those close to him are grieving, but different types of grief for the different types of relationships had.
I think dudes who watch too much pro are gross too…
Let her have him