just try to remain friends, don't go any further. in early 2022 i hooked up with my former boss/colleague (nothing against HR policy, i checked). i thought we were on the same page, we were not. kept hooking up anyway, because we had fun and i work at home now. doesn't matter. it's almost a year later and it feels really stuck and shitty – hard to move past. it's MUCH MUCH MUCH easier to just be friends and wonder.
It really does. I don't like her at all. Even if we all are talking about something else, she'll find a way to drag my boyfriend's name in it one way or the other. But it's not like she isn't focused on her boyfriend. She's super protective of him. But idk why she does what she does. It's weird.
Moving in together and taking on the bulk of the financial burden isn't equivalent to like.. giving someone a ride “because they would do it for you”. Because that argument is actually super selfish on her part. She's completely negating your VERY REAL AND UNDERSTANDABLE hesitance to move when you are not financially ready. It's not selfish to say that if she wants to move out of her parents house, you are not stopping her. She is the one who needs to change her situation and you should not be held financially liable for it.
You also didn't change your mind, you guys had a plan to move in when she's making an income and can contribute. With inflation and rent right now it's wild to think that 1.5 of an income would be sustainable and it would likely put a lot of stress on BOTH of you to sporadically move in together like this.
Not everyone can shower every day. People do suffer from dry skin, eczema etc. I can only shower a couple times a week. A bit more in the humid summer.
Buy flushable wet wipes. Proudly show your wife your purchase and exclaim how you are both going to use them before sexy time so you are all fresh and ready. “Look what I bought dear. We can use these before sexy time!”
You mentioned you don't have enough info to contact his wife… then get it. In conversation with your friend you can innocently ask questions, try to get details. So where do you guys go? Does he pick you up? What kind of car does he drive ? OR some around the back way “wow I saw a really nice car the other day, whish I can afford that one day. Do you have a favorite? I don't mind mine that I have it's comfy but I hope to get something sporty one day. What do you enjoy about cars? What does teacher drive?”
Once you know the car you can find it at the parking lot of school and see where he drives to if you're comfortable with that. Now you have an adress and know where to knock or send a letter to.
Or in conversation just find out the name of the wife. Ask questions, I'm sure she'll mention something about her like that he had to sneak out or go a call from her or his kids and wife all went on some outing. Then just ask “oh you always refer to them as kids, what are their names? How about his wife? So we can stop saying wife and kids in future conversations. It's annoying” when you have a name check the phone book, check social media, you can even just type the name in Google with your location and probably find some info where she works.
You need to tell her. Do it anonymous and send proof even if it's just days and times when you know they met so she can start being suspicious.
That’s a good point. And going with a group is definitely the safe way to go.
Still and all, it’s kind of weird. Rich Americans paying for trips to Mexican orphanages to hold little babies and kids. Deep down it’s kind of a human petting zoo…
If she won't go to couples counseling or do anything to help herself, I don't see what choice you have but to leave. Your resentment will continue to grow. It's unfortunate that you married her with the idea she would change and things would get better. This is who she is and she's not a partner, she's a dependent and a liability due to how little she contributes.
I still love my ex but I now realize love is not enough for a healthy, successful relationship. My life is so much better with him as a friend and not a partner.
just try to remain friends, don't go any further. in early 2022 i hooked up with my former boss/colleague (nothing against HR policy, i checked). i thought we were on the same page, we were not. kept hooking up anyway, because we had fun and i work at home now. doesn't matter. it's almost a year later and it feels really stuck and shitty – hard to move past. it's MUCH MUCH MUCH easier to just be friends and wonder.
It really does. I don't like her at all. Even if we all are talking about something else, she'll find a way to drag my boyfriend's name in it one way or the other. But it's not like she isn't focused on her boyfriend. She's super protective of him. But idk why she does what she does. It's weird.
Moving in together and taking on the bulk of the financial burden isn't equivalent to like.. giving someone a ride “because they would do it for you”. Because that argument is actually super selfish on her part. She's completely negating your VERY REAL AND UNDERSTANDABLE hesitance to move when you are not financially ready. It's not selfish to say that if she wants to move out of her parents house, you are not stopping her. She is the one who needs to change her situation and you should not be held financially liable for it.
You also didn't change your mind, you guys had a plan to move in when she's making an income and can contribute. With inflation and rent right now it's wild to think that 1.5 of an income would be sustainable and it would likely put a lot of stress on BOTH of you to sporadically move in together like this.
Not everyone can shower every day. People do suffer from dry skin, eczema etc. I can only shower a couple times a week. A bit more in the humid summer.
Buy flushable wet wipes. Proudly show your wife your purchase and exclaim how you are both going to use them before sexy time so you are all fresh and ready. “Look what I bought dear. We can use these before sexy time!”
Yes, you should dump him over this.
You mentioned you don't have enough info to contact his wife… then get it. In conversation with your friend you can innocently ask questions, try to get details. So where do you guys go? Does he pick you up? What kind of car does he drive ? OR some around the back way “wow I saw a really nice car the other day, whish I can afford that one day. Do you have a favorite? I don't mind mine that I have it's comfy but I hope to get something sporty one day. What do you enjoy about cars? What does teacher drive?”
Once you know the car you can find it at the parking lot of school and see where he drives to if you're comfortable with that. Now you have an adress and know where to knock or send a letter to.
Or in conversation just find out the name of the wife. Ask questions, I'm sure she'll mention something about her like that he had to sneak out or go a call from her or his kids and wife all went on some outing. Then just ask “oh you always refer to them as kids, what are their names? How about his wife? So we can stop saying wife and kids in future conversations. It's annoying” when you have a name check the phone book, check social media, you can even just type the name in Google with your location and probably find some info where she works.
You need to tell her. Do it anonymous and send proof even if it's just days and times when you know they met so she can start being suspicious.
.
That’s a good point. And going with a group is definitely the safe way to go.
Still and all, it’s kind of weird. Rich Americans paying for trips to Mexican orphanages to hold little babies and kids. Deep down it’s kind of a human petting zoo…
If she won't go to couples counseling or do anything to help herself, I don't see what choice you have but to leave. Your resentment will continue to grow. It's unfortunate that you married her with the idea she would change and things would get better. This is who she is and she's not a partner, she's a dependent and a liability due to how little she contributes.
I still love my ex but I now realize love is not enough for a healthy, successful relationship. My life is so much better with him as a friend and not a partner.