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John & Lili onlyfans.com/only_lili, 21 y.o.
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Date: October 11, 2022
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Consent is not a one and done thing. Consent is ongoing, enthusiastic and should be continually revisited and reinforced. So no, just because you consented to something months ago absolutely does not mean you are consenting to it now. The fact that he stopped when you “woke up”and didn't mention it or check in with you means that he absolutely knows it was wrong and that he was violating not just your consent but your person. Sex through coercion is assault and that's what he's doing to you now. He is gaslighting you and manipulating you and using guilt to pressure you into doing something HE wants to do. Is that the kind of “love” you would allow a friend to accept? If the answer is no, then don't accept it for yourself. Your boyfriend has demonstrated multiple times they are not a safe place and that they will assault you if they don't get their way. I strongly suggest you end this relationship and then further that you seek therapy to help you work through past and present trauma so you can learn to not only set healthy boundaries that feel good to you, but also what a healthy relationship with a partner looks like so you don't fall back in to this pattern of manipulation and abuse.
Wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't the first time either.
Yes, alcohol poisoning is horrific.
How long were you together?
You need to be patient with yourself. It will take a lot longer than two months.
You may also need to start afresh for awhile – figure out who YOU are. You have made her a part of your identity, and as a result, you never became whole as an individual, which is why you feel so empty.
I don't think going to bars is cheating. My boyfriend goes out with his friends too. I don't consider him cheating when he goes out with friends to bars. And I wouldn't consider it cheating if he felt he had a fleeting crush on someone. It happens and it doesn't have to mean anything. I never said anything about my conduct towards my coworker, and you are assuming I've made advances. I haven't. She's invited me out several times and I've said no because I don't think it would be a good idea. My communication with her has been nothing but cordial. Furthermore, getting hit on isn't cheating because you cannot control what other people do. If someone hit on my boyfriend, I wouldn't consider him cheating unless he responded in kind. And a lot of my friends are not single. That's another assumption you've made. There's nothing wrong with friends going out to bars together.