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Birth Date: 1997-05-01
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Date: October 11, 2022
I had a similar thing happen to me before. Difference is we weren't dating. It was a girl I was close with and I thought we were just good friends, even though I knew she had a crush on me for a couple years (I heard this from other people, she never told me herself).
So she asks if I'd come over, hangout and drink with her one night. We'd drank together a few times before, and just hung out with no issues. But this time she buys all the alcohol, I come over and only have a few drinks. But start to feel extremely drowsy after only a couple drinks, way more than I should be, and pretty much blank the rest of the night.
We wake up the next morning in the same bed, completely naked. I have an extreme hang over and she seemed perfectly fine like she never drank a thing.
I knew she had a thing for me, but I didn't expect this. So it kind of ruined our friendship since I felt like I couldn't really trust her. I never did ask her if she did anything to the drinks, I just kinda stopped talking to her after that because I didn't feel comfortable around her.
Like I said, this was just with a friend, not even a girlfriend. If I was in the same situation as you and I found out for a fact she did something like this, there would be no trust anymore. You don't even need to know the motivation behind it, just get out.
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Oh my god I have no idea how to read your writing sorry.
This is disgustingly selfish reasoning. You don't want to be with her. You want to use her.
Focus on your husband and life!! The grass isn't greener on the other side.
You are just expiencing the good points of him. You don't know if he leaves his dirty underwear on the floor and snores very loud.
Oh yeah. Going with a friend sounds like a MUCH better time. I’d also be hurt if a partner pulled something like this, it doesn’t speak well of their character. Enjoy your stay!
I think some people are missing the point of the post.
What do you want out of the meeting and what are you prepared to accept? Are you ready for the worst?
I suppose the worst is for him to say that he never wants to see you again but then he wouldn't have to meet you, he could just write a letter.
Next worst might be a therapy-inspired confrontation. Would you be prepared for him to sit and let a lot of anger tumble out of him?
I think that you should prepare for a lot of difficult emotion and by prepare I mean that you should have an exit plan in place. Arrange for you to be able to go somewhere or to someone where you can decompress and think/talk/work through your conversation. Have tissues with you – plenty of them.
Be ready to apologise for sneaking around behind his back, even if you have done so before. he may not have been ready for your apology and he might be ready now. After listening to him, focus on re-inhabiting the role of 'mother'. Ask him how he is, how he's doing, etc. Remind him that you love him. Don't raise him blocking you or his g-parents telling you to leave them alone unless it's in direct response to a comment about you never contacting him.
If he wants to reestablish contact with you but never see or hear about Max again, can you do it?
Best of luck, Throwramommah, I'd be keen to hear how it goes x
I would suggest that you two don't have kids. I can certainly understand his anxiety and I can certainly understand how you feel disrespected. But this is something you both need to find a peaceful way to solve before you ever think about having kids or it's going to get explosive.
It sounds like he's got some trauma from being cheated on or has cheated in his past so he's almost expecting it. He could do well with some therapy to try to overcome that trauma. Personally, I wouldn't try to take it too personally. I know it sounds like he may be talking about you being an unfaithful person, but it might be more of a nagging “but what if?” question in the back of his head. And you being resistant to it might also be further making him suspicious.
He also needs to be accepting of how that can be upsetting to you and not make it feel like it's a requirement to have the kid.
Please fix this before having any kids because this sounds very volatile and that won't be good for a child to go through.
OP…3 days for an injurySHE caused? You know what needs to happen