Next time you go out to eat take their menus, give them back to the server and say “they won't be needing these since they can't afford anything on the menu. Just a glass of water for them.” Seriously, your partner isn't their personal ATM. I'd go NC or LC, if they can't be respectful to you and your partner they aren't worth the time in my opinion. Good luck!
It’s totally too large for a cell phone, I kept breaking phones and I finally realized they are just too big for my small hands. I now have a 13 mini and never drop it.
ok i snooped some more cause i was losing my mind. it seems like him & this girl were like casually dating when we first started seeing each other. i havent noticed any red flags like after we became official/monogamous. but i still feel weird abt the fact that he dated this girl & is now talking to her daily & didnt tell me at all. im gonna talk to him in the morning abt it.
IMO, you’re not doing much for her as well. You do laundry but less than her?
You’re telling us you’re being a responsible homeowner and tenant to do your share of chores? Gasp! How can she NOT be happy for receiving bare minimum!
Acts of service extends farther than doing chores, like making her a cup of coffee before she gets up or picking up her favorite snack on your way home or making a reservation to her favorite restaurant or buying her flowers AND setting them up in a vase.
Or looking online for small trinkets in relation to her interests or hobbies and buying them (some sites can ship them out in certain dates so you can space them out months in advance) but don’t just do chores. It’s not being thoughtful or loving
My partners language is physical touch and mine is as your wife’s but I can’t stand constant physical touch when I’m not receiving any affection in return and get touched out even if it’s kisses here and there
For yours maybe ask that you set time aside to watch a movie and cuddle? Ask that you cuddle for a few minutes before falling asleep?
Ask for her consent because otherwise it will be jarring for her given she’s probably touched out from the kids as well.
NTA- your parents are dumping their parental responsibilities on you and your siblings to house your bother. However, it’s a scam using him. They already have a free home so they have an asset/collateral to get a loan themselves. They just want everything for free with no financial obligation.
I had a relationship like this. I wasn't the side chick, I think there may have been a side chick at one point, but it was all part of a pattern of him keeping distance from me to try and maintain some power in the relationship. After him pursuing me more initially, once I was committed he started creating distance gradually so I was always the one desperate for more time and attention and commitment from him, so he felt like he had the upper hand and then gradually started to see what kind of crappy treatment I'd put up with until at a certain point I hit my limit and started standing up for myself.
It might not be what's happening in your case, but that was my experience of the exact behaviour you describe.
If he tries anything again, get proof of it and share it around the place so people find out about his actions. And tell your bf that while you appreciate him wanting to help get justice for you, he really isn't the victim here. He's not the one being sexually harassed.
If he honestly thinks it's an addiction, then he should see a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to work on this issue.
You have to decide for yourself how much of a boundary this behavior is for you. Some people would consider what he's doing to be cheating, and others would say it's just masturbation, or interactive pornography.
If you find it unacceptable and can't be in a relationship with someone who does this, then you should give him an ultimatum and tell him he needs to see a therapist to learn how to stop this, or else you're getting a divorce.
Next time you go out to eat take their menus, give them back to the server and say “they won't be needing these since they can't afford anything on the menu. Just a glass of water for them.” Seriously, your partner isn't their personal ATM. I'd go NC or LC, if they can't be respectful to you and your partner they aren't worth the time in my opinion. Good luck!
I’ve bought them all presents too ?
It’s totally too large for a cell phone, I kept breaking phones and I finally realized they are just too big for my small hands. I now have a 13 mini and never drop it.
ok i snooped some more cause i was losing my mind. it seems like him & this girl were like casually dating when we first started seeing each other. i havent noticed any red flags like after we became official/monogamous. but i still feel weird abt the fact that he dated this girl & is now talking to her daily & didnt tell me at all. im gonna talk to him in the morning abt it.
Yes, you're being unreasonable. Their daughter decides to move countries, the parents have no obligation to pay her costs of relocation.
IMO, you’re not doing much for her as well. You do laundry but less than her?
You’re telling us you’re being a responsible homeowner and tenant to do your share of chores? Gasp! How can she NOT be happy for receiving bare minimum!
Acts of service extends farther than doing chores, like making her a cup of coffee before she gets up or picking up her favorite snack on your way home or making a reservation to her favorite restaurant or buying her flowers AND setting them up in a vase.
Or looking online for small trinkets in relation to her interests or hobbies and buying them (some sites can ship them out in certain dates so you can space them out months in advance) but don’t just do chores. It’s not being thoughtful or loving
My partners language is physical touch and mine is as your wife’s but I can’t stand constant physical touch when I’m not receiving any affection in return and get touched out even if it’s kisses here and there
For yours maybe ask that you set time aside to watch a movie and cuddle? Ask that you cuddle for a few minutes before falling asleep?
Ask for her consent because otherwise it will be jarring for her given she’s probably touched out from the kids as well.
When a parent puts an ultimatum on their child to choose and it's not an abuse situation, leave the ultimatum maker.
She's the one willing to leave you behind, not your other parent. It's sad, but you made the right choice.
You don't, you broke up with him
NTA- your parents are dumping their parental responsibilities on you and your siblings to house your bother. However, it’s a scam using him. They already have a free home so they have an asset/collateral to get a loan themselves. They just want everything for free with no financial obligation.
I had a relationship like this. I wasn't the side chick, I think there may have been a side chick at one point, but it was all part of a pattern of him keeping distance from me to try and maintain some power in the relationship. After him pursuing me more initially, once I was committed he started creating distance gradually so I was always the one desperate for more time and attention and commitment from him, so he felt like he had the upper hand and then gradually started to see what kind of crappy treatment I'd put up with until at a certain point I hit my limit and started standing up for myself.
It might not be what's happening in your case, but that was my experience of the exact behaviour you describe.
Not at all. Nothing wrong with trying to work on yourself.
Just prank him first. Hit him with the ol' “Taze a motherfucker in the parking lot” one.
If he tries anything again, get proof of it and share it around the place so people find out about his actions. And tell your bf that while you appreciate him wanting to help get justice for you, he really isn't the victim here. He's not the one being sexually harassed.
U break up for a reason. I dont believe it ever works going back.
If he honestly thinks it's an addiction, then he should see a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to work on this issue.
You have to decide for yourself how much of a boundary this behavior is for you. Some people would consider what he's doing to be cheating, and others would say it's just masturbation, or interactive pornography.
If you find it unacceptable and can't be in a relationship with someone who does this, then you should give him an ultimatum and tell him he needs to see a therapist to learn how to stop this, or else you're getting a divorce.
Break up with him. Attend shows and grind on other guys in front of him.