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anisa-shy Public Chat Channel
Date: October 9, 2022
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anisa-shy Public Chat Channel
OP get a restraining order. This guy’s crazy and probably stalking you. Do not respond to him or accept any gifts.
Wow if that all it took to piss you off and expect compensation for, I wouldn't want to be your friend.
I had an epic 30th Birthday bash 12 years ago that included lots of alcohol and a jelly pool where to no obligation to my friends could jump in and have a wrestle, it did not dissapoint, most of my girlfriends ended up raiding my wardrobe after they finished and took my clothes but because I gave them the temptation to use the jelly pool I didn't complain and some of my friends gave back my clothes but others didn't. I didn't expect them to pay for it nor did I stop being friends with them, in fact it's still talked about to this day cause it created a memory! Most my friends were paraletic drunk and threw up all over my yard and inside my house and we would hang shit on them for it and we'd all laugh.
Get over it mate, or just don't have parties if that is your mind set. You sound like a Scrooge.
No present is worth opening a door to more abuse
What you are looking for is closure – you aren’t going to get it. Because you didn’t do anything wrong. Because there is nothing missing in you. He is either a shitty person and was leading you on, or his feelings changed. In either case, he isn’t going to admit it. You have to find closure for yourself. Forgetting about him and living your best life is the best revenge. Eventually, you’ll be grateful you didn’t end up with such an unfeeling, probably narcissistic person. Someone who is capable of not thinking of someone else to this extent, would’ve continued to hurt tou.
My advise: surround yourself with friends. Talk this out with them. And start going on dates, only casually, again. Hit the gym and feel great about yourself. One day, he will be a faint memory. And you will look back and thank god you’re with a good guy!
Do no do not get drunk and dial him. Do not try to contact him. He will likely get meaner and hurt you more.
I’m sorry for you and your past SO’s struggles. Do you think there’s anyway to deal with this other than leaving them completely? I’m struggling with the idea of “abandoning” them when they’re in a state this fragile… I keep getting told that I’m the problem, and I don’t know how to tell them that they’re actually the problem right now…
If i were in your shoes, I would give her space for the day. I'd spend the evening praying and thinking about what to say if she allows you to pray together.
Jesus, what did I just read?! I thought my parents had a bad marriage until I started reading this subreddit.
So he has been lying for years about wanting kids?
If he really has trauma, he should have gone to therapy long ago because he knew having kids was important for you. He didn't. That tells me he has never cared about having kids and was just dragging it out, so that eventually it was too late for you and he got what he wanted: no kids.
His answer is just an excuse. I think two options (a) give him a very limited timeline, like 6 months, to do therapy and sort out his feelings about kids and his upbringing, and also do couple's therapy, if it doesn't come to a resolution in 6 months, you split up, (b) separate now, do therapy on your own, divorce, and move on, don't waste your time on someone who is not taking you seriously and lies to get what he wants.
Love usually includes respect. How can you respect someone that would treat his wife and kids this way? He's not a good person (neither are you, by the way); you feel attached to him, but attachment isn't love.
Just pointing out it may not be insecurity, it may be any number of other things. Religious, a personal belief, societal, or any other “norms” jumping to the worst possible outcome is not healthy.
Maybe he was just too tired?
yeah… I think you should move on. you could talk to them about it, but it might not end well. and possibly get professional help while you're at it.
I’m so sorry ?. Have you suspected something had happened? He needs to find somewhere to go for a few days and give you some space to process what’s happened. Much love and hugs ❤️
No definitely not. I will never do that again, I’m too scared to do that shit again, I don’t wanna lose my family.
Thank you I appreciate it
Why do you feel obligated to hold him every time he cries? I cry lots but I don't expect my bf to comfort constantly. I just know I'm a sensitive person who cries often.
Yes, the younger that you start dating seriously the longer you date before marriage. That is the normal trend. I do agree about the work stat, but my point is that OP prioritizes marriage for religious and cultural means. It should have been a priority when she had the largest number of suitors to meet from.
It’s normal to have a couple of “serious” relationships before meeting the person you marry. That could be another reason why people get together later in life,
I'm not disagreeing, but that is one of my questions that she avoided. That would be prioritizing marriage when younger.
their previous serious relationships didn’t lead to marriage.
And that is cause for punishing her current bf? That is the point I made. Because she had made bad decisions in partners when younger. Didn't talk about future plans or whatever reason, don't care, she is now putting pressure on this bf because she is rushing into marriage.
she is ruled by that fear.
And so my point is that she is punishing current bf because of this.
Idk but if it were me probably because you call it banging
He has feelings for you and it's crushing him you are casual with others. He is ok when he has you to himself but is annoyed when you talk to others. Why do you think he ended it with his gf after you moved in? He might not admit it, but he has a crush on you.
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Thank you, this makes a lot of sense.
OK, so what am I missing? She told OP there was another room for women. It doesn't matter if a million other places only have one locker room. We are talking about the situation in this post, where there IS another room for her to change in.
Are you saying OP is lying about this?
> “she said that they do have a changing room for women on coed teams, but she doesn't use it.”
No I’m calling it how I see it.
He’s monitoring her, plain and simple. If he wasn’t he wouldn’t have any worry about what she is googling.
If he’s that worried about this maybe he should dump her. Instead of snooping .
Agreed, they're available at CVS/Walgreens.
I had an ex joke about including my sisters in our sex life. That's just plain disgusting and too far for a joke. You fucked up so better apologize and take her more serious. You still seem to act like you did nothing wrong.
I love that these posts are so obviously bad and tr0lly. Makes it easy to report.
attraction is a critical component just the same. for me it wouldn’t work. also the person deserves a partner who is attracted to them, and you deserve a partner whom you are attracted to. and i’m not super idealistic about romance either personally speaking. we all “settle” in some ways, but that is simply accepting the flaws in our partners which everyone has.
you're raising your kids IN a broken family. Kids see, hear and sense everything.
It seems you have several issues here.
First, you need to be informed more about anal sex. You seem to like butt play, but are afraid of the consequences. You need to study this issue more, and it makes total sense. You are young and you do not want a prolapsed butthole. Read a lot about anal sex for beginners, etc.
Second, you say “I’ve already told him that I want to try it in the future and how kinda scared I am. He understands that.” And then, he does not. He is insisting, refusing, scared, made feel really sad, ultimatum.
That is not being understanding. That is pressuring and not a good partner. But he is very young, and so are you. Communication is key, and it is a bit messy, but if you want to give him the benefit, talk this with him. But if you don't, you do not owe him anything.
Third. Please both of you look at sex books together, you will find the clitoris muscle, the G spot, the difference between urethra and vagina, the differences in stimulation for women and men, and so many wonderful things. But you will not find that you urine will dye his penis yellow, unless you maybe pee on him.
Good luck. Try not to agree to anything you do not want sexually, if you do, be kind to yourself and figure out what and why you agreed and why you did not like it.
I wouldn’t disclose it to HR, as HR is hired to help the company not employees, and this sort of thing is bad for the company.
Is it a big company? How big is the industry? Are office affairs common? Possible to change jobs altogether?
People will talk if they know and even though this is not related to your professional ability they will conflate it and some may block your advancement. It all depends on what type of person populates the company / industry and luck.
Your husband's attitude is just trash. I'd start preparing to move on, he's no husband. A husband is someone who loves and cares for you, not mocks you and makes you feel like a fool.
Re-read rule 7
Yes she is tired and I always make sure to give her the rest she needs. Am not forcing her to do stuff it’s just that when we have the chance to have sex it just feels robotic and she’s like “let’s get this over with”. As for kinks, I haven’t explored much because I just can’t talk to her about it because she does not want to talk much about sex stuff.
LOL
Bruh, forgive my callousness at laughing but really, what did you expect. Why is it always the same story with men and these open relationships, good lord.
Ask your wife to end things with this man and you two close this marriage again. In the future, take up issues in your marriage with your wife. You cannot fix anything in your marriage by turning to other people. Only by turning to each other.
Oooooof. He absolutely is!
That's some bullshit language you're using there.. the father literally injected colour into the conversation with the black peppercorns comment, as previously stated, pretty much admitting he was racist. Enough said
Nope, he doesn't even drink
You chose to spend it with your niece and you will also at the baptism, so that’s a pretty good excuse lol. You didn’t ask her to come along?? Is it just a private family thing?
Take the time to heal from this…because you have so much to look forward to.
After 6 years, he mentioned that some of you: being anxious and a type A = his dealbreaker, honestly, I'd move on.
There's no way I'm staying put while wishing and hoping he'd change his mind. I'm speaking as someone who's been with an ex-fiance for 6 years here. My only regret was that it got to 6 years despite of the many red flags lol.
No apologies. She said it. You put it in action
I am repeating what the doctor said to him
That's complete disrespect. I wouldn't take that. Leave him. Posting pictures of yourself is fine. He's openly inviting nudes/hookups and spitefully trying to hurt your feelings.
His goal is to make you feel vulnerable, sorry, and confused. Bothered by an overwhelming torrent of emotions. Which he can then use to take advantage of the situation and get whatever he wants from you.
The couples around you are not your relationship. I get that fear, but the most you can do is see what the breakup issues were in those cases and ensure that everything is good in your relationship in those ways.
What kind of cold, unfriendly and lonely universe do you live in where you can't touch your friends' shoulder or wear “matching” clothes? (white t-shirts? really?)
That’s what I’ve been thinking… I really would tell my daughter the same. But at the same time, this has honestly been the norm for me in relationships, and so I’m having a hard time walking away. I know that it’s not okay, but what can I say, apparently my taste in men is… at least the same for the past few years.
You’re 18. Split up and find people who you are more compatible with. She wants other guys but no other girls for you? Nope out of there.
I'm pretty sure she has a crush on you.
And it is totally understandable to feel that way. Can't you have the lessons on line and go to your parents until you can find a place of your own?
Everything you said proves my point. Traditional marriage requires traditional people.
This lady needs to understand her husband is working 60 to 70 hours a week.
She is working from home three of the two days which means her job isn’t as physically demanding as his job is.
As I said modern men and women shouldn’t get married. You have proved my point.
They can’t understand the situation of the other person in the relationship. This applies to her husband too since he can’t just say a few words and be at the end of it.
Secondly for boys especially, discipline is absolutely needed. Why? Coddling them is not good you turn them into the worst kind of men. Look at the other 200 posts a day of guys who can’t get their shit together.
However, my boyfriend insists that I'm being ridiculous and that it's weird if I don't meet her.
Haha, no. He's being ridiculous for insisting you meet her and it's weird that he wants you to.
So, this friend group (that his ex is a part of) didn't even know you existed until recently and neither did this ex. By their insistence that he tells her about you, even they are finding this odd. How in the world could you be okay with him having a relationship with her when he never even told her about you? What could possibly have been his motives behind that decision?
The fact that, by all appearances, he at least began to have an emotional affair with this person before he left the previous relationship, that he gets so bothered about seeing her and that he has one feeling or another over her new partner at the time and then all this just screams to me that he's still not quite over her.
My best online friend has this same disorder. Except it makes it super violent. So sometimes he goes hunting ti release those urges. As long as hes never hurt you you ahould be fine. My friends gf is also pregnant with their first child. And he keeps telling me how much he loves his gf qnd how hes excited to have a baby with her
As long as your bf keeps himself in check tho your mom just needs to accept it.
It’s clear he won’t be an involved father, so really, your choices are to get an abortion and stay with him, get an abortion and ditch him, or ditch him and be a single mother of two at 23.
Regardless, you also need to get on a better form of birth control than natural family planning and the pullout method. Both (highly ineffective) methods have clearly failed you more than once. Time to learn about the pill and condoms.
You are extremely annoying. You have a different version of this post ten times. I can only imagine how annoyed he must be with you.
You are extremely annoying. You have a different version of this post ten times. I can only imagine how annoyed he must be with you.
OMG you’re absolutely gorgeous and your soon to be ex-bf is an immature asshole. He’s 25? Smh…
You’re not dating a man you’re dating a child. Who even gives a shit about the proportions of their gf in front of their friends? Boys grow out of that when they mature into adults. He obviously is not mature enough to be in an adult relationship.
He pretended he was dating your sister??? Because he wanted to flex about his “gfs” proportions…? What a dishonest loser. He should be ashamed of himself. I’d like to have a couple choice words with this chap about respecting women.
Get out now before he even gets close to damaging your self-esteem. You have nothing to worry about. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE AND DON’T LET ANYONE MAKE YOU THINK OTHERWISE.
Look at that ocean behind you. Every single animal in that ocean would be a better bf than your soon to be ex. You’re 23 and beautiful. Don’t waste your time on the sea sludge. Plenty of guys out there that will love just the way you are! Ditch the sea sludge!
Am I the only one who thinks the option ‘do nothing’ is perfectly feasible? I’d try and barely give it another thought, she goes to the wedding, you don’t, all ticks on fine. If the relationship continues to be good and you both are happy and nothing appears to you shady otherwise, I’d just accept that she had her own probably totally boring reason (maybe not thinking a year was long enough or not wanting to drag you into family drama) and be like meh whatever.
Either that or if it bugged me too much I’d just finish the relationship (if I was starting to feel detached about the whole thing). But if all seems good …
I’d still bear it in mind as an indication of character and showing that my gf is more inclined to tell ‘white lies’ in order to keep the peace rather than risk even a mild confrontation. I’d keep an eye out for that causing any other problems in the relationship and how she handles other things. But I think you have to step one way or the other – either it bothers you enough to end it, in which case do that, or it doesn’t, in which case let it go and don’t let resentment build up.
He has told me a million times he will start a diet and exercise regime next Monday but never does because he is tired from work. I'm tired too but still look after myself He used to be better but has settled into the relationship because he knows he can get away with it I think
Oh God love you. I’m so sorry.
You already know what you;re doing, and it’s wrong. I can tell that you like car gruesome crashes and such too.
Thank you for the kind advice!
Maybe he needs to try receiving anal? Certainly would give your own ass a well deserved rest lol. I laugh but I'm actually not kidding a lot of straight men actually enjoy receiving anal. See if it's an option for him.
Yes. ?♀️
She just wants to have an evening to do a hobby of her own. She has repeatedly commented that she likes having a job outside of the home.
Explain to him that this event is about your sister and her husband and not him. If he does not accept this, he's an asshole and you should dump him.