It’s not consensual if you’ve been guilt tripped and coerced. Berating someone into allowing you to masturbate with their body, while they lie there miserable is not intimacy. If it was about intimacy and connection, as he claimed, he wouldn’t want to do it when you don’t want to do it.
Some people are really terrible at gift giving. My partner grew up in another culture where Christmas wasn't celebrated and birthdays for adults are not a big deal. I tried demonstrating how to give gifts by putting a lot of thought into his gifts. I got crickets. So I stopped giving him gifts for birthdays and Christmas. Lo and behold, he started giving me nice gifts after noticing that I wasn't giving him gifts anymore. Just drop the rope, don't buy him anything or take him out to dinner.
Most masculine men, sex. Or wearing sexy outfits that leads to sex.
A lot of guys have a hard time enjoying things like flowers (not all). For example, how I see it is I can buy my own dying plant if I wanted a dying plant.
Sex in a relationship isn't as much about what you get for yourself, it's about wrapping a need in exclusivity. This utter dependence on meeting each other's critical needs makes what would otherwise be regular sexual gratification into something more special.
You're just confused. It's not about having only had each other, it's about how once you've both wrapped it in the limits of exclusivity, anything after become a beautiful and special way to be the source of a critical need. It's special because it is a special need nurturing relationship. It isn't about how it started, it's about what it is becoming.
She IS delusional, and thinking that this situation – where people are forced together without love and intimacy – is healthy for their kids to see is completely untrue.
Divorce happens, and it's healthy for the kids to know that if a situation isn't working for them, they can remove themselves from that situation. They don't have to be forced to remain there, where they're unwanted and manipulated – which is exactly what she's doing to her husband.
In other words, after a years worth of her treating you like shit til the point you could not take it anymore, she took the liberties of talking shit to her family about you, painting you into the villain. Now after treating you like shit and getting her family involved into the drama with her tales of woe, she and her family are expecting you to crawl on your thumbs, kiss her ass, begging for forgiveness. If I was you, that would not just be a hell no, that would be a fuck no! And it would be another reminder as to why I made this clown shoe an ex in the first place.
Yes! So many absolutely vile comments here. People truly defending watching child porn or at best simulated child porn.
For op, maybe this dude is just into the porn and would never touch your daughters, but how is it possibly worth the risk? You already know he’s seeking out sexual material with teens or people made to look like teens. Don’t let him live with your daughters. For all the people suggesting she talk to him, what do they expect the outcome of that conversation to be? He’s just going to say what everyone else here is saying, that the women aren’t actually minors and it’s just porn. He’s gonna say that whether or not he’s planning on grooming your daughters.
It’s not consensual if you’ve been guilt tripped and coerced. Berating someone into allowing you to masturbate with their body, while they lie there miserable is not intimacy. If it was about intimacy and connection, as he claimed, he wouldn’t want to do it when you don’t want to do it.
Some people are really terrible at gift giving. My partner grew up in another culture where Christmas wasn't celebrated and birthdays for adults are not a big deal. I tried demonstrating how to give gifts by putting a lot of thought into his gifts. I got crickets. So I stopped giving him gifts for birthdays and Christmas. Lo and behold, he started giving me nice gifts after noticing that I wasn't giving him gifts anymore. Just drop the rope, don't buy him anything or take him out to dinner.
I can change him?
Most masculine men, sex. Or wearing sexy outfits that leads to sex.
A lot of guys have a hard time enjoying things like flowers (not all). For example, how I see it is I can buy my own dying plant if I wanted a dying plant.
Sex in a relationship isn't as much about what you get for yourself, it's about wrapping a need in exclusivity. This utter dependence on meeting each other's critical needs makes what would otherwise be regular sexual gratification into something more special.
You're just confused. It's not about having only had each other, it's about how once you've both wrapped it in the limits of exclusivity, anything after become a beautiful and special way to be the source of a critical need. It's special because it is a special need nurturing relationship. It isn't about how it started, it's about what it is becoming.
She IS delusional, and thinking that this situation – where people are forced together without love and intimacy – is healthy for their kids to see is completely untrue.
Divorce happens, and it's healthy for the kids to know that if a situation isn't working for them, they can remove themselves from that situation. They don't have to be forced to remain there, where they're unwanted and manipulated – which is exactly what she's doing to her husband.
In other words, after a years worth of her treating you like shit til the point you could not take it anymore, she took the liberties of talking shit to her family about you, painting you into the villain. Now after treating you like shit and getting her family involved into the drama with her tales of woe, she and her family are expecting you to crawl on your thumbs, kiss her ass, begging for forgiveness. If I was you, that would not just be a hell no, that would be a fuck no! And it would be another reminder as to why I made this clown shoe an ex in the first place.
Love has not much to do with attraction. Don’t fool yourself.
See that’s exactly how I feel. Glad I’m not alone in seeing it that way. Makes me feel a little less crazy anyway
Yes! So many absolutely vile comments here. People truly defending watching child porn or at best simulated child porn.
For op, maybe this dude is just into the porn and would never touch your daughters, but how is it possibly worth the risk? You already know he’s seeking out sexual material with teens or people made to look like teens. Don’t let him live with your daughters. For all the people suggesting she talk to him, what do they expect the outcome of that conversation to be? He’s just going to say what everyone else here is saying, that the women aren’t actually minors and it’s just porn. He’s gonna say that whether or not he’s planning on grooming your daughters.