Don't think of it as a mindset, it is a deeply engrained believe, that she is not allowed to “cause trouble”.
It is basically like telling you, not to worry about a really basic every day rule, think like “Don't curse at your parents” and now imagine yourself doing that. Picture yourself telling your mom she is a worthless bitch for asking you to borrow her your car. (Or something that applies to you feeling like it is deeply disrespectful and not your place to refuse with a sprinkle of fear she would hurt you physically)
THAT is what it might feel like for your girlfriend. She can work towards letting gonof that feeling, but it probably doesn't help her to just demand boundaries.
Encourage her. Offer her to give you a sign if she needs (silent!) backup. Let her find a way to “not cause a scene” while still making her own position clear. Talk to her “we against the problem, not each other”. The problem isn't her not enforcing boundaries, it's her not feeling comfortable to do so and feeling even more pressured by you.
What can both of you do to make her more comfortable to reject people, to know she has the rightvto do so.
Don't have a child unless you truly want a child. If this is a deal breaker for her then it's in the best of both your interests to part ways. Especially if you know a child will negatively affect your wellbeing.
You're both lying to each other so are you going to be the person who owns up first?
that's when you know, you've been dating a fckn monkey
Don't think of it as a mindset, it is a deeply engrained believe, that she is not allowed to “cause trouble”.
It is basically like telling you, not to worry about a really basic every day rule, think like “Don't curse at your parents” and now imagine yourself doing that. Picture yourself telling your mom she is a worthless bitch for asking you to borrow her your car. (Or something that applies to you feeling like it is deeply disrespectful and not your place to refuse with a sprinkle of fear she would hurt you physically)
THAT is what it might feel like for your girlfriend. She can work towards letting gonof that feeling, but it probably doesn't help her to just demand boundaries.
Encourage her. Offer her to give you a sign if she needs (silent!) backup. Let her find a way to “not cause a scene” while still making her own position clear. Talk to her “we against the problem, not each other”. The problem isn't her not enforcing boundaries, it's her not feeling comfortable to do so and feeling even more pressured by you.
What can both of you do to make her more comfortable to reject people, to know she has the rightvto do so.
Don't have a child unless you truly want a child. If this is a deal breaker for her then it's in the best of both your interests to part ways. Especially if you know a child will negatively affect your wellbeing.
All I thought at this was a G.I. Joe with a Kung-Fu grip. Lol
Completely agreed. If there was any apology or semblance of regret for how she treated the OP and their family, that’d be one thing.
But acting like they’ve been friends all along and trauma-dumping and then asking for money? NOPE. Why does she want a bigot’s money?