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Date: February 11, 2023
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Even if OP has time for a relationship – it might be worth making sure that its with someone whose love language isn't quality time. Though if I am being honest, all the languages are a version of time, the time love language itself seems to me to be about proximity/connection and body doubling
It looks like divorce and shared custody of his 2 children. His wife is making a unilateral decision to have her rapist's baby. OP doesn't have to accept it.
I should clarify, I don't think you're doing anything wrong, if you have preferences then you should tell your partner but the double standards when a guy comes in with a similar issue (dyed hair, haircut, shaving habits etc) and are called controlling and toxic are blatant
I have no issue with you but rather the people on this sub
Hope that clears things up
And I feel sorry for someone who can't accept someone for who they want to be.
And before you say that that's me yelling 'transphobia' at a problem, I'm not saying this because of the child abuse argument we just had: I can understand the concern for the child even if I think it's minimal risk if it's only a one-time thing. I'm saying that because of you calling her a dude at the start.
If you can't accept others and just let them be who they are, you're doing something wrong
So what? Why is that important to ANYONE other than barely-funtioning-autist authoritarians? No-one of any consequence believes that this point matters in the debate.
Just say “Don't worry about it. I was just shocked because I liked you but its clear we're not on the same page. I think its best if we just let bygones be bygones and just remain friendly. Its not you, its me.”
You could could be in a horrible car accident in a couple years and she would have to take care of you, take you to weekly doctor visits, etc. Nothing is guaranteed, love who you love while you still have the chance to do it.
Personally I wouldn’t put up with any of this, cheating is a hard line no thanks.
I have mostly guy friends. I hate when people try to change that or get insecure and won’t deal with being controlled. BUT if a guy expresses interest in me more than once while knowing in in relationship, I’m not going to be hanging out with them alone and definitely am not going on a cruise with them (and I have gone on a cruise with a guy friend before). If they can’t take my relationship seriously and respect it enough to not even make comments like that, then they’re not really my friends.
He’s already shown he doesn’t really respect the relationship, and she’s crossing a line. Guys hide behind “joking” way too much to take it seriously – hell, I learned that as a teenager. I recommend breaking up with her because honestly this is insulting.
He doesn’t sound like a good, he sounds like a cheap, manipulative user and his comments about you not being able to do better sounds like emotional abuse.