I’m going to tell you something, but I want you to read your previous response after reading this response. The dynamic changed because of kids, probably for a number of reasons that I can’t say are or aren’t valid (it’s your relationship and I’m a stranger). Often times when kids come into play, it’s difficult to be as sexual as you were before children, but this change can be difficult for men to understand. It’s not that we don’t appreciate our partners, or that we can’t appreciate what our partner’s are struggling with. The first half of your statement sounded like there was passion and you were satisfied, but you weren’t as tightly wound, maybe you can’t put your day aside and be in the moment. The last half is about his faults, which sounded like you were trying to justify how you feel now and the desire for bdsm. I would encourage you to go to marriage counseling to help you both communicate better because he may be feeling like nothing is ever good enough now, but he may think he was good enough before. You need time to unwind and experience the moment together. It’s not unusual when you first have kids, because the spare moments are fleeting, so it’s difficult for both of you to put in your best effort. Focus on each other and ask for help with the kids from family so you have alone time. I suspect your other focus is just distraction from having time to focus on each other.
Agreed 100%! It's basically like announcing that the vow / ceremony / certificate means more to you than the actual human you plan to spend the rest of your life with
Everyone we ever date is wrong for us to a certain extent. No one is a perfect fit.
In many respects, a relationship could be considered great if the two people in it are mostly right for each other.
But we struggle to accept that because of what we’ve been led to believe about romanticism.
We expect our partner to continue to excite and inspire us despite our relationship being focused on mundane domestic conditions 95% of the time.
That’s why we think it’s a dilemma when we feel our boss is hot while we feel our long term partner is only just pretty good.
We’re struck by a confusing moment of reflection. Are we really still in love with our our partner if we can feel this way about someone else?
Yeah, we are. In fact, feeling the way we do about our partner is the inevitable outcome or trying to love someone after you actually get to know them.
See, you don’t really know your boss. Your feelings are a baseless infatuation.
Whereas the feelings for your partner are based on years of side-by-side, through-thick-and-thin living companionship.
They’re not even in the same realm.
In many respects, love is not romantic – its dutiful and present and sometimes boring or even frustrating.
And this is perhaps more so the longer we stay together.
But the fact that another person, your partner, has chosen to invest their time, their life, in your comfort, safety and happiness is no small gesture.
this is not a “hehe got my lick back” moment. you were a hurt and traumatized teen having your life change outta nowhere due to your dads infidelity.
i’m not saying what you did was right but for her to take what a hurt child did in response to you and her dad cheating and betraying her family, mull over it, and inact revenge years upon years later is insane. i knew your dad and she had no tact before but this? this is something else.
i’m still stuck on the fact this is an adult woman we’re talking about.
Glad someone else read it like that.
I’m going to tell you something, but I want you to read your previous response after reading this response. The dynamic changed because of kids, probably for a number of reasons that I can’t say are or aren’t valid (it’s your relationship and I’m a stranger). Often times when kids come into play, it’s difficult to be as sexual as you were before children, but this change can be difficult for men to understand. It’s not that we don’t appreciate our partners, or that we can’t appreciate what our partner’s are struggling with. The first half of your statement sounded like there was passion and you were satisfied, but you weren’t as tightly wound, maybe you can’t put your day aside and be in the moment. The last half is about his faults, which sounded like you were trying to justify how you feel now and the desire for bdsm. I would encourage you to go to marriage counseling to help you both communicate better because he may be feeling like nothing is ever good enough now, but he may think he was good enough before. You need time to unwind and experience the moment together. It’s not unusual when you first have kids, because the spare moments are fleeting, so it’s difficult for both of you to put in your best effort. Focus on each other and ask for help with the kids from family so you have alone time. I suspect your other focus is just distraction from having time to focus on each other.
She's a miserable elitist snob… with autism.
There, fixed it for you.
Agreed 100%! It's basically like announcing that the vow / ceremony / certificate means more to you than the actual human you plan to spend the rest of your life with
no block, no honsty, no chance
she is only sad she got caught. four months file for annullment
I think that will be my next plan. Everything that you have said has resonated with me. So thank you.
Everyone we ever date is wrong for us to a certain extent. No one is a perfect fit.
In many respects, a relationship could be considered great if the two people in it are mostly right for each other.
But we struggle to accept that because of what we’ve been led to believe about romanticism.
We expect our partner to continue to excite and inspire us despite our relationship being focused on mundane domestic conditions 95% of the time.
That’s why we think it’s a dilemma when we feel our boss is hot while we feel our long term partner is only just pretty good.
We’re struck by a confusing moment of reflection. Are we really still in love with our our partner if we can feel this way about someone else?
Yeah, we are. In fact, feeling the way we do about our partner is the inevitable outcome or trying to love someone after you actually get to know them.
See, you don’t really know your boss. Your feelings are a baseless infatuation.
Whereas the feelings for your partner are based on years of side-by-side, through-thick-and-thin living companionship.
They’re not even in the same realm.
In many respects, love is not romantic – its dutiful and present and sometimes boring or even frustrating.
And this is perhaps more so the longer we stay together.
But the fact that another person, your partner, has chosen to invest their time, their life, in your comfort, safety and happiness is no small gesture.
Best of luck.
this is not a “hehe got my lick back” moment. you were a hurt and traumatized teen having your life change outta nowhere due to your dads infidelity.
i’m not saying what you did was right but for her to take what a hurt child did in response to you and her dad cheating and betraying her family, mull over it, and inact revenge years upon years later is insane. i knew your dad and she had no tact before but this? this is something else.
i’m still stuck on the fact this is an adult woman we’re talking about.