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  1. Wow okay. I'm going to try to be nice here.

    I think what you are missing is, you are seeing all of this from your own eyes. Your own needs, with little concern for hers.

    Here is what I'm taking from your post: She doesn't hang on your every word any more and that makes you sad. Therefore your goal is for her to make you happy again. To further that, you suggest corrections to her behavior: Get off the phone, read, go to a spa.

    I can promise you, you telling her what she should and should not do is not going to work.

    Not once do you say, “I've asked her what I can do as her partner to support her.” She is stressed with work and money, by your own admission, but what have YOU done to alleviate those stressors, specifically? Do you comfort her? Do you ask her how you two should approach these stressors? Do you work together on financial plans?

    Meanwhile how much do you pull your weight with housework, with maintaining friendships and relations with family and all the other emotional labor that comes with being married? Have you even thought about any of that?

    She is 'adamant about couple's therapy to improve communication' and you dismiss that with Oh she needs individual therapy. You are completely dismissing that maybe a big part of the problem is YOU? She has said, straight out, she is open to couple's therapy but you can't be bothered because you see all this as a HER problem.

    Damn Dude.

    “What in the world is left to try to shape her back into someone that I enjoy being around?”

    My god that is insulting. Where the fuck are YOU trying to reshape YOURSELF into someone SHE wants to be around? Have you ever considered YOU might be the problem? Because you are showing some real selfishness, OP.

    Good luck OP. Your wife will need it.

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