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TheCosmicCouple, 27 y.o.
Location: Australia
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Date: January 13, 2023
Thank you for your response. I’ve not wanted to post on Reddit bc I thought people would tell me I’m crazy which I wasn’t ready for.
He’s embarrassed bc he told his friends (one of them is a nasty piece of work) I cheated on him twice and this is 100% what he thinks. It’s even worse because this is the one bad thing I’ve ever done in the relationship. I’ve forgiven him for hundreds of things (not physically cheating or seeing someone else) and I always kept the problems to myself to not make people around us doubt our relationship. He says none of what he’s done amounts to what I did. Which I don’t know if I think that’s true.
I believe that if we were to tell his parents the whole story that they would think he is in the wrong. He says it doesn’t matter because I still cheated because I wasn’t honest.
No, it's really not. You're just young and keep commenting that he's your first love. Trust me, there's a better match for you out there. Move on now so you can heal and learn from this sooner than later. You also said he hid your birth control at some point as a “joke”, news flash, that's not a fucking joke, that's an extremely terrible showing of major manipulation and attempting to control your body. Next thing you know it'll be five years down the road and dude is physically abusive. Take care of yourself, I know it's hard to think about this right now, but do it for your own sake.
Starting to set boundaries a while back but the 2.5k birthday bag thing broke new record. I always thought helping out your significant other is important. I am very good with keeping boundary with other people though.
“A break” pretty much never works.
You are both 21, you're only 9 months into this. Dating is supposed to be about figuring out who you're compatible with. If you are having this much trouble resolving conflict this early on, it will likely never get better. Do you want to live with this level of struggle for presumably the rest of your life?
The folks in this thread who literally can’t seem to fathom supporting their partner in a moment of distress is truly disheartening. OP wasn’t asking him to lie to her- she just wanted to feel safe in that moment
You two are not compatible and you are not a nice person.