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undress me [232 tokens remaining]
Date: December 22, 2022
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I mean, he isn't wrong on the majority of what he is saying. He is entitled to feel that way, but he doesn't need to necessarily shovel it down your throat constantly. That can get pretty annoying. Have you simply tried talking to him about it? Tell him that he needs to simmer down on all the negativity.
Huh when did I say what happened to the kids was okay? Never. But I am just saying what happened to Sarah was nice.
I even said he shouldn't have abused her like that in another's comment. But I am happy about karma coming back at her(only the cheating).
I am pretty human lol not a sociopath ?
Or just don't use hers at all?? Literally don't have sex and ruin your life if you don't have other options like, sometimes when I hear OPs stories I wonder if I'm the odd one out who consistently denies sex if it feels weird or unfun at all. Literally go play a game and jerk off instead LOL.
A genuine question: Do you require each other to tell about everyone you're going to meet?
Just curious. This seems like a weird thing to be so upset over.
She’s not trustworthy, I left out that context. We are not friends so that is why I sent it to my bf first.
Thanks a lot! Do you have any advice on how to practically letting go?
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Had to add the 21F thing again cuz of mod bot
Link?
You are two damaged souls, but that doesn’t mean you are compatible or equally good for each other.
You sound more self aware and caring than he does.
He sounds like he is holding on to entrenched misogyny, whatever other values he purports to have. That type of perspective will always steer him to be disrespectful and degrading to women. He should be held accountable for that, irrespective of what trust issues he has.
Despite the horrors you have been through as a child and teen, there may be a party of you that is acclimated to poor treatment and seeking the familiar. It’s effed up because obviously you in your head do not want a repeat of that.
For you to heal properly it may have to do so out of relationship, so that you do not become enmeshed with someone else’s stuff instead of having the freedom to heal and develop to your fullest potential.
Even if this can’t be achieved, at the very least, the relationships you choose, need to be with people who are well-rounded and kind and genuinely uplift you.
You have chosen this relationship instead. I don’t think he’s the right choice.
Don’t let your compassion blind you to someone else’s true traits and failings. It can be very difficult for survivors of this type of coercive abuse to put good boundaries around themselves. They often feel undeserving of better treatment and the cherishing they deserve. But you do deserve cherishing and understanding and protection from predatory or disrespectful behaviour and attitudes. The thing that could stop you experiencing that is crowding out your personal space with people who are not capable of that. Don’t take on or excuse others responsibilities to be good people.
You are young. Your life could still turn out great if you keep making right choices. But it can also plummet into misery, especially if you align yourself with the wrong partner.
Like i said i felt that things went smooth she seemed like the kind of person id like to spend time with, time flew by while talking
i guess if the questions is friendship or relationship a friendship at first im not the kind of person that looks to just hook up apart from the 4 women that i mentioned ive only been with someone else and even she was someone i knew since we were both very young
But its been 10m since i made thipost and im already feeling like a creep so im probably gonna delete this and move on
Like i said i felt that things went smooth she seemed like the kind of person id like to spend time with, time flew by while talking
i guess if the questions is friendship or relationship a friendship at first im not the kind of person that looks to just hook up apart from the 4 women that i mentioned ive only been with someone else and even she was someone i knew since we were both very young
But its been 10m since i made thipost and im already feeling like a creep so im probably gonna delete this and move on
Please work on your self respect, my friend. A self respecting person doesn't stay with a partner who cheats on them. You deserve love and happiness, and you deserve to be with a partner who doesn't cheat.
It's going to be difficult, but you'll get through it. Focus on yourself, your interests and hobbies, your friends and family. It's okay to grieve this relationship, but for your own sake, the relationship has to come to an end.
Good luck OP.
So fake ?
idk, the way i see it, you could either be his friend or drop him, seeing as those are the options he seems most comfortable with. i recently found myself in a relatively similar situation but i won’t dig into it because that’s neither here nor there. Seeing as you already tried the “friends” route and it ended back up in another situationship, if you feel like you can’t do this whole friends with benefits dynamic without feeling uncomfortable because of your feelings, at some point you might have to “drop him” or just leave that friendship dynamic, no matter how much you guys like each other. it could be a “right person, wrong time” type of thing, but i don’t know for sure. At the very least, have a conversation with him and really ask him whether he’s willing to pursue a relationship with you, and if not, then you know his stance on the situation and you guys can come to a consensus on whether you can still try to maintain a platonic friendship or if you just have to let each other go. if he is ready for a relationship, then woohoo, hard part over! either way, communication is key. hope you guys find something that works for the both of you, and good luck?
Jail sounds like zero fun. You’ll be paying the consequences and they’ll do what they’re gonna do.
When you reach 30 yourself you will realize how gross this man is because the idea of seriously dating a 22 year old will gross you out.
OP, there's semen in precum. Semen is in precum! if he comes outside, you can get pregnant too, I mean it has been known for ages this method is no good. He needs to use a condom if you missed a pill. He HAS to! Seriously, this is another issue with him: a man who wants sex, but refuses to use a condom and take responsibility for the sex, is no good…
“I didn’t say I would be a surrogate for Kelly and Steve. I said I would consider being a surrogate for a decent couple, but I would absolutely fuck Steve, because I wanted to remember what it felt like to have a dick in me that was big enough to feel.”
Well there's two ways to look at it and both ways are pretty positive. Either you're actually just as good looking as his exes and your low self esteem is preventing you from seeing that, or your personality and interests make you just so much more fun to be around so he'd rather be with you because he's not shallow and vain.
Either way, he's with you because you make him happy. You have to learn to trust that he's with you because he wants to be. No one is forcing him to be with you. So whatever you're doing right, it's working.
You’re not being irrational. Your husband is just being a moron. He clearly has an unhealthy attachment with Bella and the answer a bf/father of your child has to the question “will your prioritize me over another person” is ALWAYS yes unless it’s your child.
It may not be a romantic relationship but there is definitely a level of codependency here. If you do not tell your bf that this is my limit, he will continue to prioritize her over you. Honestly his response is such BS, if you were in a less emotionally vulnerable state I would have used some very harsh language.
She will actively be a pain in the ass your whole relationship unless you have your partner on your side.
Tell your husband that this is unacceptable. The same effort that it takes for him to stick his penis in a jar wrap it up and hide it underneath the bed he can take his ass to the bathroom. You understand his mental health but being nasty is unacceptable. He is not a child go to the bathroom
I understand but what I was being accused of was being physical. I am honest with myself. I did in no way or shape do that.
Then take the bus or find a car you can actually afford.
So one of the hardest things to learn and deal with is you don’t get to decide when or how other people cope/process and decide when to communicate. It sounds like you’re both at fault to and extent. You definitely went about it the wrong way. When having issues you should be using “I” statements. I feel ____ when __. You doing _ makes me feel ________. That being said she wasn’t ready to talk yet and you kept pushing her boundaries. So it seems like you were incompatible and breaking up was for the best
I know I need to just put in more effort. I need to see him as someone I'm trying to date again but it's just hard to put myself back in that mindset. But this post is just reminding me that of course there is no easy answer like I was hoping for. I need to build that connection again like we did when we first met. I can do this.
Finally a dude on Reddit that knows when to keep his mouth shut.
OP, you are correct, nothing good comes from this. Admit to anime pony porn or pregnant midgets or something simple like that.
I'm sorry, your ex-boyfriend said what?
Somebody sounds jealous. And immature.
I would check your condom box if you have it or check your birth control pills. This guy is giving me vibes that he gives no shits about what you want and wants to knock you up. Get out OP. RUN OP.
Is the 3rd here legally? If not you can push to have him deported. You should also go to the police if they 3rd threatened you. If he has charges he can likely be deported.
Do you live in a town of seventy people? Why is there any need to overlap? She probably is upset you’re pursuing someone she liked.
This is adorable lol. I just asked my boyfriend of 3+ years after reading this if he'll be my valentine and he said no ?? Good on you for not being a stinker like him lol. Anyways chocolates and a big bouquet and a sweet card is a great way to go ?
Congratulations for finding your self respect and not tolerating a biphobic girlfriend/environment. Remember this pain is temporary and you can find someone who accepts you for who you are.
This is the way
I may be wrong- why does her touching herself bother you?
Yeah, you’ve added nothing of value.
so when youre young 12am is early. And it is for me too cause I have insomnia. But as you get older for most normal people thats past bedtime. Im not trying to be mean Im just saying dont keepnthat expectation because you're going to be let down a lot if you do.
I do a lot especially with soy sauce because I run out all the time. Trust me, they saved my ass 3 nights ago on some rice I made.
Do you like her romantically
I do find it sus that you've been w him for 4 years, and he still isn't capable of just telling you the full truth in situations.
I mean, what reasoning could he have for feeling like he needs to hide details?
Idk. I think when he gets home, you need to sit him down and have a big talk. Failure to disclose full facts when speaking to you is very deceptive and hurtful. He is causing distrust by doing this.
It's hard to tell from the limited info what his motivation could be. But yeah, I would be tolerating the lying by omission any longer.
Learn to plan. And with that, I mean, learn to plan things together with your girlfriend. You might be busy with fun stuff, but your relationship is also just as much a priority. If not, maybe you don't have the time for one.
She’s lying, she wouldn’t be. If she wants an open relationship then she has to understand that is giving you permission to do the same. She’s choosing women, you might chose women also, same sex or opposite, it’s cheating. If that’s what she wants then it doesn’t bode well for your future together. She is clearly a very late bloomer to think this is a viable suggestion and after all this time together you’re going to be alright with this. Lacking maturity or bored with married life. Think carefully
It sounds like you both don’t listen when you explain how the other feels.
If you say something that hurts her feelings, even if you didn’t mean for it to, yes, you should apologize Instead of defending what you said. You can explain that you didn’t mean to hurt her feelings but that should go along with the apology instead of being used to avoid giving one.
She literally said everything that I did in the post, more of an educated guess than a random assumption dog
I am not his team's boss, but I am his superior (like the same rank as his boss). I am not going around bossing him around ofc.
You know the answer. The fact that he pulls away the second you wake up means he is fully aware of what he's doing.
Whether OP’s bf is trans or not is only up to him. Nonbinary people are free to only identify with nonbinary as a label if they want, but other non-binary genders also fall under the trans umbrella. Being trans is as simple as “not being aligned with the gender you were assigned at birth.” Which includes being any gender other than man or woman. So if OP’s bf wants to consider himself trans, they are fully within their right, but no label is ever mandatory (unless you’re dealing with a garbage healthcare or legal system, which always complicates things immensely).
Personally, if someone uses more than one set of pronouns, I try to switch which one I use every now & then because as someone who uses multiple pronouns, it can be refreshing to hear someone use more than one. But T was in the wrong here to try to dictate which set OP used for their own bf.
That's actually a really good idea :)) thanks!
At a pub, you can get food too
I don't think this will get her anywhere except maybe divorce.
Is she under a lot of stress? If she is doing it as soon as you get home, could it be a form of escapism? Might be worth discussing, as she might be in need of a break/therapy and is looking to you to take control/look after her while she can't cope, as she's had a sense of it in role play.
But you still asked about others opinion onn this and other commenter if this is disrespect to yourself. No it's not, but you do you. You are very young and have time to learn.
Time to take your power back.
Never feel you owe anyone like him an explanation. If you explain, you give away your power.
Stop being concerned about him saying he didn't mean it.
You are not answerable to him.
Get angry! MAKE A SCENE!
PREPARE one or two statements that you find him insulting.
Tell him to leave. Throw his stuff out the door if necessary.
And only respond to him or your BF by repeating the statements that he's insulting you.
For future reference – a good friend in this situation would have talked to her friend about whether it would bother her or not before initiating anything with her ex. It's a little late for advice now. If you value the friendship, you could end it with the guy, apologize to your friend, explain you genuinely believed she would have no issue with it given her current relationship. This dude does not seem worth the drama you created for him.
No demisexuals are only sexually attracted to people they have an emotional relationship with. That's different
He also didn't say that to her. She read his texts.
You literally ruined her night by worrying about other peoples experience at the concert.
And every day for the past 2 years. Why is there no copypasta filter?!
I hope for your sake that you will. Don't let anyone brainwash you into believing that all men are cheaters. People judge others by their own standards. You current boyfriend thinks every man is like him, because he thinks that cheating is ok. If faithfulness in the relationship is important to you , than you should look for someone who shares your values. I wish you strength and confidence in yourself.
This man is going to murder you. I'm not joking or exaggerating. This man is going to murder you.
Please it's only going to get worse. Please leave.
Is he allergic to your cats? No, he is not. So this is not a reasonable thing for him to demand.
I kind of think you guys might not want to go ahead on living together. I get the feeling if it comes to you or the dogs, he'd choose the dogs.
wtf is he doing during all the time that you're waiting? It never takes guys that long to get ready for ANYTHING. Is he into video games, could that be what is stalling him? Either way I'd dump his inconsiderate ass, better guys out there who would be glad to have a gf that comes to visit them, drop that loser because it's obvious that he doesn't appreciate you. smh
Unless she's a sociopath and has treated you like shit for the duration of your relationship shoving inappropriate things in your face, you should assume that this is completely innocent and a non-issue.
Maybe you hoard money, w edict know. But no it’s not normal to pay for people who make crappy decisions.
You can help out friends in need and who are doing their best. It’s good to be generous but what he’s asking is not generosity.
Thank you. He eats, he doesn’t starve himself but he is picky about Whole Foods. I don’t think he needs to do all this either, he is probably in the low body fat range where his abs are clearly visible. He also said if he looked chubbier on the face, I wouldn’t like him. He does need help, I try to comfort him but then he says I am trying to manipulate or sweet talk him.
Definitely not! We only ever talk at work, never outside of working hours.
But you are weak minded and cant be trusted. What you did would be unforgivable for most. The way you described the other man’s invite to dinner and your acceptance is all I would need to know. You knew his intentions when you accepted. You are not a good candidate to marry your Fiancé o
Maybe you should go get an STD test. I'm sure your current boyfriend will be excited to pay money to get one too
My daughter is 20, in college, and still receives help/financial support from me and her dad. She has a job, takes a full load in college, babysits on the side, shops for groceries and manages her own doctors appointments and health needs. If she asks for help, I help her as much as I can. But I raised her to do things for herself and be a problem solver. Your parents have done you no favors and if you want a relationship with a grown up, you need to learn how to be a grown up.
You both could have been better.
You. I've come home tired, not feeling well, and with unexpected guests before. The same effort it took you to say what's up could've been used to say “hey wife. Hello friend's wife. “
It also would've taken no effort to say, “I don't feel well. I'm going to lay down for a bit. “
She didn't need to act like it was the end of the world. She easily could've said to the friend, “He must've had a long day at work. Sorry.”
You may have made things worse with the dinner thing. I know you said you'd help… but she's mad at you, and the first thing you go into is her starting dinner? You can't start dinner on your own?
Either way, this is a joke of a fight unless there's more to it, as in, you guys have been fighting over other shit and this is just the tip of your issues.
Forget about her. She is not going to do anything to herself – it was convenient for her to be with you, so she naturally is trying to gaslight you back into a one-sided relationship.
Block her everywhere, take your time to grieve your relationship, move on without the baggage.
I would send AP a message and tell him that you are enjoying the rent free access to his girlfriend body and thank him for taking her off your hands
Meanwhile get proper advice on how to best get out of the situation
Yikes this makes me not want to have kids.
Yall need therapy asap.
Bro she has you in the friendzone!!!!!! You are giving time to her, you are giving her your attention to her but she literally is not going further than that, that is friendzoned. In other words she probably could loose her virginity with another “bad boy” and then play dump because she “can't explain” what happened. She is not respecting you and she is not interested in sex with you. Or open up the “relationship” or break up with her and stay only friends. Even though when you bring the “opening the relationship” she is going to snap out of it.
It's kind of a lousy time to buy with prices still relatively high and interest rates climbing.
With that said, every relationship you have two people with two different set of life goals and hopefully you find that those life goals have some overlap. The relationship probably doesn't last if they have no overlap.
With that said, he has a home, so even though he may want to, he's not pressured the same way you feel pressured.
he has been telling me he wants to be with be forever and get married and have kids eventually so maybe it will work out i'm not even sure lol
Tell her you are feeling insecure in your relationship, and stop asking her the dumbest fucking questions that you don’t want to know the answer to.
You haven't had enough sex to know that, with all gentleness. It really doesn't lose all meaning.
Why do some guys come here and lay out a story of their partner lying and acting suspicious. Then, when given advice, defend said partner? I have seen this talking to people as well. She lies. She is either cheating or wants to cheat.
Sounds bad, brother. I would get out with my head still high.
It’s not bitching, it’s providing context and asking for advice.
It’s not hard to understand that I lock it when we leave, and don’t when we use the restroom. Do you know anyone who locks their room to step out for a minute?
Any common household wouldn’t have to do that, and it’s looking like I’ll have to and I accept that.
But I don’t know what you’re calling childish here.
You might be tearing his ass apart