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Room for online sex video chat Trued_Evening
Model from: in
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1991-06-12
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityIndian
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBlack
Subculture: subcultureRomantic
Date: December 19, 2022
While so many replies here are grilling your boyfriend, please allow me, as a man, to share some insights that may really help you.
If your boyfriend was an alcoholic since you met him, you should have either make him get specialized help or break up with him. There's nothing good to come from an alcoholic but if you really love him, it is not too late to have a discussion with him sober and offer him your help if he agrees to address drinking under medical supervision or break up with him.
Alcohol if used constantly and for enough long time can make a perfectly normal person in a relationship with a perfectly normal SO behave as your BF does, without any reason at all.
Now, there's also a good part in his out of character behavior: he definitely loved you and I may even say “is loving” you still! Only when you love someone you can feel insecure and jealous and if we add alcohol in this equation, you get what you have right now… I am convinced that if he quit drinking and if he gets antidepressants, chances are for your relationship to drastically improve for the best!
If he would have been vexed by what you said, in the absence of solid feelings for you, he would have drop you asap and maybe in a rude way (again, the alcohol…)
I strongly believe that you still have chances if you can make the reasonable person from him, listen while sober. Tell him that you love him, would want to spend the life together but you don't want to be a young widow.
Convince him to ask for specialized help and you will be repaid in full and even over. As for disclosing vs not disclosing in the future, it is too early to get any feedback now, if you will post sometimes in the future that you end this relationship with him, I promise that I will share my views. Until then, I wish you success!
I think you missed some info. It’s my apartment with my name on the lease. We all moved in together.
You have a point. I think I should be able to sometimes do something for her without having to ask first. I understand why that might be needed but sometimes you just want to do something your partner isn’t expecting to help them out.
Of he was 18 when they met and she was 21 it's really not a big deal. It's very normal.
“there’s no privacy for me and he reads my journal all time when i’m not home”
ABSOLUTELY NOT. Get out of there instantly. This is a massive red flag. You need to leave him.
She might be a person with low self-esteem and a defensive mindset who has problems with impulse control, who huddles into her shell when confronted with a difficult discussion.
Or she could be a manipulator who chooses to escalate the issue from a specific problem into a broader context.
Without seeing the two of you together, it is impossible to say which it is. But given that the two of you have apparently *never* been able to resolve any such discussions, I am inclined to believe that this is the latter, and she has found a tool for deflecting blame and neutralizing a discussion about negative behaviours on her part.
In that kind of scenario, the only way that I have found that works to address the issue is to be persistent, without getting angry. An hour or a day after the original discussion, calmly start off with a “so we never actually got to the point of resolving that discussion we had earlier/yesterday”, and continually repeating the same tactic of returning to the discussion after she has reused her tactic of trying to deflect.
Another option, again keeping the calm approach, is to ask her why she insists on always deflecting the discussion and adopting a pose of martyrdom (or self-victimization, which also occurs quite often in these cases).
Ultimately though, whatever the cause of her behaviour,. the more you push and probe, and the more you show you are not willing to let it drop, the more likely it is that she will turn it around onto you (“you are constantly harrassing me”, or “I do not like feeling attacked in my own relationship”) and start pulling away from you emotionally. Basically, the fact that she is so evasive means that chasing this has a decent chance of breaking the relationship.
She's mad that yall got a piece of mail that had the same last name on it? When yall are married? Yeah that's petty. As for constantly dumping on your family for no reason I'd just tell her that she's welcome to feel however she wants about your family but you're not going to listen to it anymore and she can keep those feelings to herself.