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Date: December 14, 2022
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Yeah, sure, judge an entire gender because you chose a nutcase.
Most women i know (can't say all because i haven't talked about it with every one of them) pee in the shower
Buy a camera if you can to record your room, obviously you won't want it on when changing etc, but have it on when sleeping. Also check what alternatives you can have as a backup for locking the door when you are in your room just in case he decides to tamper with your lock. I always do a test when I lock my room door to make sure it won't open.
Speak to someone at school if you can.
Ask yourself this…why do you need advice when you are being treated poorly? Who accepts this type of behavior? Only people who do not value themselves. Respect yourself because no one else will!
you meet someone who’s “perfect for you, love at first sight” and then you ignore her for 2 days? sorry dude but that is a YOU problem
You walk away. He’s not as great as you have convinced yourself he is.
I don't know if you guys are dense or if you haven't been in a household where things are breaking down, but generally this is a symptom, not a cause. Things BECOME individualized genius, they don't start off that way. You think they starting off sleeping in separate bedrooms?
hire a cleaner ffs
If you’re in the US and give up your rights, most states will not hold you responsible for child support. If you truly don’t want anything to do with this child ever, sever your maternal rights and walk away knowing you did what’s best for that baby. It’s perfectly ok to not want children, it’s even better that you didn’t force yourself to love a child you didn’t want. Kids can sense when they’re unwanted and no child deserves that from either parent
She should not make this relationship “permanent” if she has those thoughts. Marriage won't fix those problems, it might get worse. So tell her, be honest and support her. There's a 50/50 risk she might be mad at you but at least you tried. She should not marry this guy with these thoughts in her head.
That is 100% too much to ask. Super unreasonable and unrealistic. Any man who tells you he only jerks off to you and you alone is lying. Even the most innocent man is still gonna crank it in the shower to the hot blonde with the fat ass in the grocery store lineup.
Instead of cheap conditioner we used mayonnaise when I was a kid. It's good for the hair (probably the eggs), where some cheap conditioners have weird stuff in them. But also it into the hate, super thick and make sure it's all the way into the scalp. Leave it for 20-30 minutes to suffocate all the lice who have already hatched, then comb out with a flea or lice comb. We did it daily for a week because three girls with long hair, it would spread from one of us to the others quickly and be a nightmare to get rid of.
The only benefit we had over the rest of the class was that because we used Mayo our hair was shiny and healthy while everyone else had theirs fried from the special shampoo that's supposed to kill them. We used the shampoo as well because it would help kill the eggs, but the treatment after really helped.
Also: using a hair dryer close to the scalp to dry your hair after washing will kill them from the heat. But it only works for people who can handle heat. If I were to get them again I'd cut my hair short on top of everything else because it's just easier to handle that way and I no longer have to deal with my parents wanting me to have long hair. It was honey gold with some red and silver highlights naturally, so they really wanted my prettiest feature to be as stunning as possible.
Yeah, I think people forget that people having things go great for them tend to not post.
I just read through your post history, and I can safely say this has absolutely nothing to do with love languages. Your bf is a jerk who is routinely disrespectful and hurtful. He uses your bisexuality to justify being controlling, and he's crap at communicating.
Given what you've written in the past about the 70/30 chores split and your struggle to get him to do any more, his “if you loved me you'd do chores” thing seems like a really gross way to get out of conversations about a fair division of labor.
You said this is your first serious relationship. Believe me when I say that relationships can be so much better than this one. You just need the courage to go find them.
Ooof. You'd be my ex unless there was an absolute shitload of grovelling and I otherwise thought you were absolutely the one.
I hope you realise how really actually terrible what you did was, and what it said about your priorities and care factor for your girlfriend.
When my husband and I got together, he did something quite different, but equally as stupid, insulting and disrespectful. I have him another chance, and we're celebrating 10 years married soon, but I already knew he was it – any other guy I ever dated would have been toast.
So yeah. Maybe it's salvageable if she's that into you. But if she doesn't see a true nugget of gold under the shit you've so liberally coated yourself in, it's going to be justifiably over.
Okay so firstly not to be negative but she has no guarantee she will get accepted onto her chosen masters. Secondly she should be looking into getting student loans to cover her living or look at the reality that no one can afford to live in London at the moment and she needs to live at home and commute etc.
I’m a teacher and I completed my masters in education part time whilst working. She needs to either work alongside her masters or have enough savings to cover her living allowance as your lifestyle should not be effected
I don’t know if I count that as cheating?
Yes that is cheating on all accounts
Keeping nudes of a friend that you are still in contact with is also cheating.
Advice: women enjoy sex differently and to be a good lover, you actually need to ask how they like it and keep taking pointers until you don’t need them anymore.
You say it was so bad she kept telling you what you had to do – I mean yes, that is how you learn to please each and every woman you’ll ever be intimate with. Ask her what she likes. Confidence is sexy.
As a woman who has always known I don't want kids, I've had two long term boyfriends who agreed no kids worked for them, and have plenty of male friends who have expressed never wanting to be a dad/caretaker of children.
Maybe it's not the norm, but doesn't seem that uncommon in my corner of the world. I'm sure this varies a lot based on cultural influence. I like in a pretty progressive city.
???
Just putting this here where OP might see it: buried under the hundreds of trigger happy “DROP HER!!” responses (very wise words by you btw!):
Hey man, unlike the top 10 or so comments, I don't think you should just drop her. I think you are both old enough to talk about this. What you are looking for, what it means to you and ask her what it would mean for her. What is she looking for? She did a silly thing but she's been trying to get in touch and apologise. The feeling of seeing what you saw fucking sucks, but at least talk to her about it. I'm not saying you get together with her or anything, let time take care of that, but I would first just talk it through. I would also ask her to be clear that she wants to be with you if that's what she wants. Nothing wishy washy, because you're feelings towards her are apparently not wishy washy. If you do try it again, the red flag is if this happens again, then I think you know you are on a pain train.
Also, A VERY IMPORTANT CONDITION is that you will genuinely be able to build a bridge and get over this if you decide to have another crack at it. If you think you will just be spiteful and bitter about it, forget it, but maybe even let her know that. I have always had the most amazing relationships, short and long, by being open like this but also holding each other to account for what's said (in a mature, fundamental sense, not just blaming each other and forensically examining every word said). You're at a very interesting age where you are both still very young and will make plenty of mistakes, but old enough to use proper, open dialogue.
I wish you the best, I hope you feel better about everything because regardless of the outcome, this will, in time, be a flicker of a memory to you one day (trust me, I've had my fair share of heart wrentching moments and discoveries). I would love to know the outcome of how it goes. Love you brother.
OP she may well have slept on the couch… after having sex in his car, shower, kitchen said couch or anywhere else! The issue is that she went home with a random and lied about her location. She is not trustworthy why would you accept her word about where or who she is going out with. She failed the audition epically why would you still consider her for the position, this makes no sense!
I would directly go to your sister and ask her if she is sleeping with your husband.
You know your sister her whole life, you surely recognize a lie.
She lied to you and is cheating. She didn’t give you honesty.
If he doesn’t understand consent you should break up with him
People can't have intimate relationships with blodd relatives, because that is a risk when they have kids (old kingdoms can tell tales about that) . Outside of this there is no risk. It's just none of your business who your father or your MIL decide to date, and if it makes you that uncomfortable you can get a divorce and consider your wife your sister – but don't ask others to live their life in a way that accommodates you.
Are you sure the other women were a joke? Because that's not normal.
It sucks but I think you are better off without him. It's a red flag he tries to make you jealous.
Consider yourself single. Block him.
It is pretty clear that you are not getting the whole truth here ….
OP, this is INSANEEEEE. No one in a healthy MONOGAMOUS relationship does this with a “friend”. Absolutely no way. & At your age?!! I'm just… I am speechless. I'm having a hard time believing this is real because ? huhhhh.
he used to do a lot of little things like get me flowers or open my doors for me. surprise with little stuff every now and then. i know those are materialistic but it has nothing to do with that. something as simple as a hand written note to show he still cares would suffice
Issa set-up! Tell him flat-out: If you want to break up with me then that's ok, just do so. But you don't have to pretend that I'm the bad guy here. Neither of us has to be the bad guy for this relationship to end. Is that what you want? If he says No then tell him, Ok but you MUST stop accusing me of infidelity! I've done nothing wrong, I'm telling you the truth about this note. If he agrees and apologizes for the false allegation, then you guys have a chance for smoothing things out. But if he say Yes, he wants to break up, then say ok and let him go.
Some people really can't stand the idea that they are the 'bad guy' so they make the other person out to be in the wrong so they feel justified in breaking up. I hate to say it but he probably has his eye on another woman so if he sets you up as a 'cheater' then he won't feel so bad about having a new girlfriend right away.
before we met, we were mutuals and i (obviously) caught feelings. of course sexual thoughts eventually came to, but i never explicitly wanted sex from her nor did i ever once go out of my way to treat her like i wanted or needed any of that shit.
if i may ask, how would you respond if someone were to go out of their way to look at your partner sexually while you’re right next to them? would you get “defensive” or ignore it and let them continue to look at them?
I think you've got a good plan going on. I wish you luck!
Also don't get me wrong. I get your point.
But if it's about what she does next….I'm just not running for the door. They were together for years and however their relationship truly is…is unbeknownst to us.
Oh god this clown again…. We get it you really want to make stupid flame wars but your troll game is weak.
I don't know them, but it's a conversation I've been on both ends of, and assuming your friends don't suck it should all be pretty amicable. If they aren't 'real' friends, and are just hoping to get laid, you'll find out quickly enough.
But if they're actually friends because they want to be friends, it shouldn't change anything.
I mean, that’s why they call the start of a relationship the “honeymoon” period. After a while the lust dies down, especially after popping out a couple of kids. Taking care of children and running a household while you’re gone for many hours at a time is probably very exhausting. Have you done anything to actually make her feel good, not just physically but emotionally as well? I know personally I’m much more in the mood if my partner makes me feel special. Do you ever do that, or just give her supplements and blame like she’s the problem?
You're together, but you don't have a chance with him? Make it make sense.
He will always do this. He wants you to feel like you aren't good enough or could find anyone else so you'll never leave him. Prove him wrong
Thank you for your transparency. No mention of the importance of weight in your description so am guessing that it is a factor in your feelings of insecurity. Doctors are taught to find the cause of an illness and write a prescription. Very few can relate the illness to a persons overall condition. Almost never will they address the effect on mind and body of anaerobic exercise. The right kind of exercise is what our bodies need in order to make the proper amount of chemicals to run our brains without mental illness, antisocial behavior, extremes of emotion … you know what I'm saying. Whatever exercise you choose for yourself it should be a minimum of 20 minutes every day and you should be sweating and out of breath at the end. If you aren't sweating and out of breath then do whatever it is you've chosen faster and harder. In a month your whole attitude will change. Be happy.
Don't expect her to be a friend right away….maybe never. She will need to process. She will also need space to get over you. Let her go.
Yeah I don't think there is any saving this. You explained what you would like in a relationship and how his behavior is hurting you and he is belittling your concerns and laughing them off. Break up with him. He can jerk off to his heart's content for the rest of his lonely life then.