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Golden Ticket Show In Progress. Tip 50 to join the show
Date: November 25, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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So he's responsible with money, modern but even asked if it bothers you, but you're taking it up with Reddit?
If no expectations are set, you're not living together, not married, nada – it is the norm for splitsies. Sounds like the man is being responsible and saving money, good on him
You need to a. Communicate what bothers you, and either things change or it's over
Never share property or finances without being married.
Take out your share of the money and immediately put it in a personal account.
Start looking for a new place to live.
I feel like the only excuse for not switching when your partner asks is if you have some medical reason you can't do that one or you're dead tired but still down to give the partner some O's
Why is this even a question? I don’t know what’s worse the blatant disrespect from him or the lack of respect you have for yourself… cut him off and work on those esteem issues.
“I'm 18 and my 48 yo bf is MEAN”
The reason it's working is that
You are young, therefore more naïve You are probably as mature as him. But YOU are gonna grow up, whereas he doesn't want to, he is stuck and wants girls, not women. So he will resent you for growing up, and at some point you'll realize he is a child
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You alive still? Sound like a ducking weirdo to me!
You alive still? Sound like a ducking weirdo to me!
You left this part out “I am sorry that I accused you of being part of what happened. I should have known that you would never play a part of disrespecting me, yourself, and our marriage. “
Nobody is taking this personally….we’re simply pointing out inconsistencies and contradictions in your own words. If you take that as being “personal” then that’s on you.
I think this might be the end of this relationship tbh as it will be very hard to forget what you experiences and not hold onto that feeling as long as you are together.
This is a life lesson though, you tried it, it didn’t work out, never try it again. Threesomes and swinging is not for everyone and porn does not represent real life.
I mean, it’s something a parent would do for a child, so I understand why she doesn’t want that dynamic in her relationship. And she’s not wrong that if you’re truly unable to stop playing, you should be in therapy for it. If you want to get rid of it, just give it away or sell it.
More than ten years ago, I had a coworker die unexpectedly. It still bothers me and makes me sad.
Another of my coworkers killed himself last year. I bet ten years from now when I think of his death, it will still make me sad.
I'll probably get downvoted, but it is her house and although you should have privacy, you are also still on her property. She gets to set the rules.
Make your bed so she doesn't see a need Do your own laundry from now on — tell her that is your plan then do it. Stop leaving dirty glasses in your room — you're 20 find a way to remember to take your meds that doesn't include hoarding dirty glasses
If you want to be treated with respect you really need to step up more — she clearly doesn't think what you are doing is enough.
Please take care of yourself first.
Definitely possible. I'm a very cuddly person and a definitely hug my male friends.
However, I don't touch their face??? Don't hug them from behind or something?? Especially not when I've only known them for such a short time.
One example I can give is of me and a guy friend(who I'm still close friends with btw). We had never really talked before and then one day I was going around, hugging all my friends and gave him a hug as well. Just a normal hug. After that we became close friends and we are both huggers so we did regularly hug. His gf was NOT okay with our friendship, but that somehow made us closer. The first time we really talked was when he texted me about how she got mad when she learned that I gave him that first hug. However, we were 100% platonic. I don't think I've ever touched his face (this all happened about 5 years ago I think) because that feels super romantic. I would feel kinda gross doing that, because he feels like family. I hug my family, but not from behind and I don't touch their face.
She changed plans. So it was originally to go to a turtle racing bar with two of her girlfriends. She canceled that to go to a new bar with her roommates and their brother before she left to go out with them. So she knew ahead of time that she was going to be with them.
One of the best replies. Thank you. He won't listen, he doesn't care.
Stop wasting your time with this dude
But how would you even know someone would act like that. The rule is based on chance. Which is stupid
Your husband is an asshole. I hope you never see him again. He only wants you back because now you have a possibility to be happy without him. How can he even be upset if he initiated the separation and decided to have sex with your friend? That's just insane to think you'd want him back.
Just confront her. The ensuing fallout will break your heart for you…
let a reliable buddy know what’s going on before you do it so you have someone to reach out to when you need a person.
You don’t need to fully stop loving her to break up. It may actually be easier if you can cut yourself away somewhere in the disappointment range before you grow to hate everything.
I have a lot of compassion for both of you in this situation. The thread is full of worries about a baby trap and green card hunting but I don’t think that this is it. I think you’ve got an amazing and highly driven young woman in your life. She comes from a different cultural background and social environment than you (and is likely having these conversations in her second or third or fourth language depending on her country of origin!). She has dislocated her life substantially. So it’s not a surprise that she (in a slightly pushy 25 year old conquering the world kind of way) is imposing her timelines on her romantic partner (who she seems really into and excited about).
You don’t come from this context, mindset, or orientation. That’s also totally okay.
What would help is honest and deep communication – and reserving judgment about each other. There are some great aides to hold conversations about the future. The only prerequisite is that you both participate in them openly and honestly. And if they don’t get you to the same answers that you’re mature enough not to try to bend the relationship to fit.
I wish you guys luck here. It’s always a challenge when two amazing people don’t click in the right way to make something work. But it happens. And that’s okay.
She's getting serious, you're not ready
When you give an inch, some people try to take a mile.
You are banking on the status quo being maintained and somehow are oblivious to the threat based on their gender.
You stand to be very surprised. Not in a good way. This is a relationship forming in front of your eyes – good friendship and sexual attraction is not just casual. Add to that being glitz bombed with big trips and well, you just amp up the problem.
Issue is she is fighting you already on it. To onlookers you are already being kind to allow this activity within your relationship, but instead of respecting that and your concerns its a stream of passive aggressive petulance.
Close the relationship immediately and request distance from this new person for the health of your relationship. I am going to guess this will trigger things that will give you a clearer picture of how casual this setup really is.
Understand that for many, feelings inevitably follow over time with the same person. Its not randoms for one night, it transitions into faux poly the more time they get together.
While not super common, more and more people are choosing not to cohabitate while in a committed relationship or marriage. Especially people who are older and have been there and done that and just want their own space.
My partner and I never planned to cohab. We were both married and divorced before we met and just like having our own space. Some circumstances changed a few years in so we do live together now but we were happy with our setup before too.
Logistically, being an hour apart and being that you don’t want to be in the city, it means she would be coming to you to visit. So…is that okay for her? It likely means that you only see each other a couple times a month. That doesn’t seem like enough to me but perhaps it does to you two?
As someone with PTSD myself, I can appreciate that being in a city can be more triggering. I much prefer living more out in the country where there’s no foot traffic past my house, no close neighbors, less noise, etc.
But it seems to me you two could/should come up with some kind of compromise else you’re not going to see each other much and the burden of travel will largely be on her. That doesn’t seem sustainable.
That’s true, I didn’t even think of that! Thank you for the suggestion, I will try 🙂
Look, as a woman who understands the fear, she has to make a judgement call at some point on the people she allows into her life.
She’s probably scared because Susan is dear to her and she had some unexamined bias about how abuse “doesn’t happen to smart, stable women like her.”
The fact is it can and it does. Nobody is special or immune. She’s trying to exert some sense of pre-emptive control over her own future because this experience is freaking her out by proxy so she’s scrambling for any “reason” she can find that will help her avoid abuse.
If it helps, it’s not so much about YOU personally posing a real threat as her fear of the non-specific is at war with her ability to rationalize specific circumstances. (Because Susan probably rationalized a lot of red flags, herself. It might seem like this guy “suddenly” escalated, but I guarantee you there were warning signs. I’m absolutely not blaming Susan for what she’s been through but there would have to have been blindspots in their relationship.)
That being said, she’s throwing around a lot of heavy concepts and shifting all the work onto YOU to alleviate her fears. Therapy is a fine idea—for her to unpack her anxieties and examine how she chooses to trust people. The impartial professional supportive guidance of competent therapist would be her best defence against finding herself in an abusive dynamic, actually.
Have you spoken to him before about this? If yes what did he say?
Just curios, you say you are a romantic person, do you ever do something romantic for him?
Also maybe your BF knows that you are sexting multiple people while in a relationship with him and that makes him less inclined to be romantic towards you.
I had a bf like 10 years ago that wanted to try anal sooo bad and I also just couldn’t do it. He talked about it all the time and always told me that I would probably like it if I gave it a chance. I finally agreed and we got just right to the point of starting, and I chickened out. I never actually wanted to and I just couldn’t go through with it. And you know what he did? He said “ok” and we moved on and he never brought it up again. And he was a TERRIBLE person otherwise. It was a terrible relationship and he was manipulative and disrespectful in a lot of ways, but he never made me feel bad about sexual things ever.
Your boyfriend is being awful. The idea that you need excuses to “get out of it” is just disgusting. He is not entitled to your body. It sounds like your body is telling you that you don’t actually want to do it. I would go with that and just tell him no. If it’s something that YOU want to try later, you can bring it up again.
This is so stupid. Break up and then grow up.
“Gee I’m sorry I didn’t prescreen my boyfriends thoroughly enough to make sure they were good enough for my sister to sneak around with, get pregnant, and marry. I have no idea why he wasn’t abusive to me but is to her. I didn’t marry or have babies with him. But if he’s been this way from the beginning, as you say, how in the hell is any of this my fault??”
So is your end goal to have group sex with your gf? If she's not into that what's your plan? Just because you decided you're pansexual doesn't mean she has to be ok with you wanting to have sex with other people.
He doesn’t, I asked if this had happened before and he said it had once. He had eaten out that day so maybe that?
Do not confront him and give him time to hide the evidence. Report him to police ffs, and leave him. This is an absolute dealbreaker. You can't trust him around minor family members, or with children of your own.
from one pregnant lady to another — chill tf out. my cousin’s girlfriend got pregnant 4 weeks before me, and while yes, i am pretty annoyed that she’s having her baby shower during the same month as mine, (making it harder on the family because they have to shop for two showers at around the same time rather than having hers a month earlier, which would make more sense anyway because she’ll be 37 weeks at her shower and i doubt she’ll have much fun at a party that late in pregnancy whereas i’ll be 32 weeks at my own) i haven’t said a word to anyone about it besides a passing comment to my fiancé. it really doesn’t matter. you’re having a baby, that’s what should be important. you are your problem right now. ignore her.
He’s a really good liar
This is a reason to sever ties with a person. Be done.
He needs help, not being parented by his girlfriend. He should go to his doctor, he should go to a therapist, he should go to a psychiatrist. Encourage him to get help. That’s the boundary that you can set.
First, talk to your mother about how uncomfortable it is to hear him make inappropriate comments about your body and the clothes you wear. Hopefully she will address that with him but definitely talk to her about this.
Secondly, look online for the kind of tricks and tips that people use for checking cameras in Airbnb. Check your bedroom and bathroom. Consider getting changed only in the bathroom.
Thirdly, make sure you've got a bank account that only you can access etc, and you know where your important paperwork is.
Fourthly, and I know that this will be uncomfortable and I know that many people will say this is wrong and you shouldn't have to do this – but consider wearing only baggy or unrevealing clothing around him. I'm not in any way suggesting that
Tell him that if he doesnt pay up your gonna get the police involved
This is literally normal salary negotiation tactics???? has your wife never had a job?
Has he been screened for depression? But also, he has bait & switched you. That would be very difficult to forgive:
>>What also threw me off was how much he lied about his personality on the dating app and in person. His “hobbies” included, travelling, hiking, running, out door sports etc etc but this is simply not true. I appreciate people try and sell themselves as the best version when dating but I feel like I’ve been deceived. He has also told a lot of meaningless white lies.
? yikes that hurtful to hear but you’re not totally wrong either