14 thoughts on “Miraclark11 live webcams for YOU!”
She's receiving help from what I can see from your replies, and at times “relapses” so to say
You know what's extremely important to a successful recovery? Connection. A support network.
I'm not saying pour from an empty cup or light yourself on fire to keep her warm, but if the answer is ALWAYS no then I would have an issue with my partner and his lack of empathy. If it's a regular thing I can understand his POV but by the sounds of it it doesn't happen all that often – 3 times in 2 years?
I've been on all sides of this situation – the person with suicidal ideation/mental illness, the person supporting the person struggling with suicidal ideation/mental illness, and the professional supporting the person and/or their family through this situation.. and you know what? I did have to cut off a loved one for my own wellbeing, so I understand that too.
Where do YOU stand, OP? What feels right to you? What do you feel you need to do? Weigh out the pros and cons of both supporting and not supporting, and create boundaries where you think they're needed (for all parties)
Okay, but keep going. I'm not saying this to be hostile, but stop pussyfooting around it.
Are YOU having a problem with their ex's race/ethnicity? Are you worried about your family finding out?
For people commenting in this thread, we don't know if this is a cultural issue that might cause problems for you and your girlfriend getting along with your family, or if we should try to talk you out of racist views you might hold, or if you're asking us to acccept any racist views you or your family hold.
If you want advice you have to actually explain the issue. You can't be all “I have this huge problem with my girlfriend and something she did. Well, really it's my problem. Well, actually it's my family. Well, maybe it is kind of me. It really upsets me, what do I do?”
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I think you might be on to something. Like do they both work and he thinks the fact that he does anything at home at is a gold metal achieved? Is she SAHM? Is he really helpful?
Like doing dishes and laundry isn't really an act of service. It's something adults have to do even if they are single so doing daily household chores doesn't really count unless she doesn't work. An act of service is running your SO a bubble bath or a back rub.
And with 3 kids she probably is 1) tired 2) probably doesn't feel sexy anymore after twelve years and three kids and 3) depending on their ages she is probably touched all the time by nagging little hands. Mom I want juice. Billy hit me. Where is my toy? Just non-stop needing.
Make her feel wanted rather than needed. My SO tells me how cool I make our house look. He thanks me for the things I do outside of sex. Sometimes he cleans the tub and gives me a bath bomb and tells me to soak and that he will clean the house. We kind of take turns with days off. And he is always asking me how I feel or if I am in pain or neeed or want something.
My ex on the other hand wanted recognition for taking care of his own laundry after asking me to do it and I refused. He acted like taking care of his pets was a big burden. Doing dishes once a week was him helping and I'd hear him complain the whole time. Or he would take the trash out after 2 or 3 days of being asked to. He made me feel like I had a child that just wanted everything done for him and he always complained when I didn't want to be affectionate when he would try to touch me after I had cleaned 90% of the house alone. Some people will do a load of dishes and act like you asked for a spring cleaning. So I kinda wonder about childcare if he is barely doing half the chores and thinks that is what love is. And what about all of her labor? He wants sex and feels like she is doing nothing even though his own words seem to indicate she does more than him. Why isn't her labor viewed as effort done in love? And why is it viewed as owed? Like not living in filth should be the drive to clean your house, not a belief that you are somehow showing your wife you love her by not treating her like maid/nanny. It's not love, it's just the absence of utter disrespect.
He is actually saying nothing! I was reading this like, what the hell is he talking about. It read like another story I read earlier, same letter foolishness. Pause, going to try and find the link. Hold!
How do I explain to him I am not taking everything seriously?
I'm sorry OP. I just can't imagine why you would be with someone who's so mean and nasty. Of course I'm sure he must have some good qualities, but based on your post, a good response might be that you are taking SOME things seriously – as you're seriously heading for an exit.
I definitely do not think this is okay, I just got put into a very difficult situation and I got put here suddenly and my eyes have been opening more and more every month
Communication works great when the person you're communicating with isn't a lying cheater. I agree he should say something but imo whatever she says back is of no value.
Listen. This is advice, not judgement. Stop bothering this woman!!! Don’t joke. Don’t track her movements in her own house. Don’t complain about sex. You have up to 30 more weeks to go! She will become more uncomfortable and irritable so being less annoying is a matter of survival. You can do this!!!
Let’s say for a second that you’re right and he doesn’t realise he’s hurting you (which I actually doubt). Do not wait until the next time he hurts you to address this in the moment. Sit down with him outside of moments where you’re ‘play fighting’ and tell him that this is what’s happening and because if it, any sort of play fighting is off the table. If he’s a good person who’s genuinely doing this by accident and who cares he’ll be horrified and apologetic and have no issues with this boundary. Anything else is a big no and you run.
I will say that (and I work in the area of DV) this feels a lot to me like someone who is slowly pushing your limits to both get you used to this behaviour and check your boundaries. The comment about being nicer to your friends enforces this for me. I’ll also say that any sort of pressure on your neck at all – especially enough that you can’t breathe for a period of time – is extremely dangerous and can result in serious injury or death days later. None of this is to be taken lightly.
She's receiving help from what I can see from your replies, and at times “relapses” so to say
You know what's extremely important to a successful recovery? Connection. A support network.
I'm not saying pour from an empty cup or light yourself on fire to keep her warm, but if the answer is ALWAYS no then I would have an issue with my partner and his lack of empathy. If it's a regular thing I can understand his POV but by the sounds of it it doesn't happen all that often – 3 times in 2 years?
I've been on all sides of this situation – the person with suicidal ideation/mental illness, the person supporting the person struggling with suicidal ideation/mental illness, and the professional supporting the person and/or their family through this situation.. and you know what? I did have to cut off a loved one for my own wellbeing, so I understand that too.
Where do YOU stand, OP? What feels right to you? What do you feel you need to do? Weigh out the pros and cons of both supporting and not supporting, and create boundaries where you think they're needed (for all parties)
Best of luck to you and your sister
Okay, but keep going. I'm not saying this to be hostile, but stop pussyfooting around it.
Are YOU having a problem with their ex's race/ethnicity? Are you worried about your family finding out?
For people commenting in this thread, we don't know if this is a cultural issue that might cause problems for you and your girlfriend getting along with your family, or if we should try to talk you out of racist views you might hold, or if you're asking us to acccept any racist views you or your family hold.
If you want advice you have to actually explain the issue. You can't be all “I have this huge problem with my girlfriend and something she did. Well, really it's my problem. Well, actually it's my family. Well, maybe it is kind of me. It really upsets me, what do I do?”
Tell him all of this. You guys haven’t been communicating at all. But if someone dropped this on me at the last minute, I’d stay home.
Bro cut ur loss and move it.. idk how ur still with her
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I think you might be on to something. Like do they both work and he thinks the fact that he does anything at home at is a gold metal achieved? Is she SAHM? Is he really helpful?
Like doing dishes and laundry isn't really an act of service. It's something adults have to do even if they are single so doing daily household chores doesn't really count unless she doesn't work. An act of service is running your SO a bubble bath or a back rub.
And with 3 kids she probably is 1) tired 2) probably doesn't feel sexy anymore after twelve years and three kids and 3) depending on their ages she is probably touched all the time by nagging little hands. Mom I want juice. Billy hit me. Where is my toy? Just non-stop needing.
Make her feel wanted rather than needed. My SO tells me how cool I make our house look. He thanks me for the things I do outside of sex. Sometimes he cleans the tub and gives me a bath bomb and tells me to soak and that he will clean the house. We kind of take turns with days off. And he is always asking me how I feel or if I am in pain or neeed or want something.
My ex on the other hand wanted recognition for taking care of his own laundry after asking me to do it and I refused. He acted like taking care of his pets was a big burden. Doing dishes once a week was him helping and I'd hear him complain the whole time. Or he would take the trash out after 2 or 3 days of being asked to. He made me feel like I had a child that just wanted everything done for him and he always complained when I didn't want to be affectionate when he would try to touch me after I had cleaned 90% of the house alone. Some people will do a load of dishes and act like you asked for a spring cleaning. So I kinda wonder about childcare if he is barely doing half the chores and thinks that is what love is. And what about all of her labor? He wants sex and feels like she is doing nothing even though his own words seem to indicate she does more than him. Why isn't her labor viewed as effort done in love? And why is it viewed as owed? Like not living in filth should be the drive to clean your house, not a belief that you are somehow showing your wife you love her by not treating her like maid/nanny. It's not love, it's just the absence of utter disrespect.
He is actually saying nothing! I was reading this like, what the hell is he talking about. It read like another story I read earlier, same letter foolishness. Pause, going to try and find the link. Hold!
How do I explain to him I am not taking everything seriously?
I'm sorry OP. I just can't imagine why you would be with someone who's so mean and nasty. Of course I'm sure he must have some good qualities, but based on your post, a good response might be that you are taking SOME things seriously – as you're seriously heading for an exit.
I definitely do not think this is okay, I just got put into a very difficult situation and I got put here suddenly and my eyes have been opening more and more every month
Communication works great when the person you're communicating with isn't a lying cheater. I agree he should say something but imo whatever she says back is of no value.
It's tattle tale behavior to not want to be sexually assaulted?
Listen. This is advice, not judgement. Stop bothering this woman!!! Don’t joke. Don’t track her movements in her own house. Don’t complain about sex. You have up to 30 more weeks to go! She will become more uncomfortable and irritable so being less annoying is a matter of survival. You can do this!!!
Let’s say for a second that you’re right and he doesn’t realise he’s hurting you (which I actually doubt). Do not wait until the next time he hurts you to address this in the moment. Sit down with him outside of moments where you’re ‘play fighting’ and tell him that this is what’s happening and because if it, any sort of play fighting is off the table. If he’s a good person who’s genuinely doing this by accident and who cares he’ll be horrified and apologetic and have no issues with this boundary. Anything else is a big no and you run.
I will say that (and I work in the area of DV) this feels a lot to me like someone who is slowly pushing your limits to both get you used to this behaviour and check your boundaries. The comment about being nicer to your friends enforces this for me. I’ll also say that any sort of pressure on your neck at all – especially enough that you can’t breathe for a period of time – is extremely dangerous and can result in serious injury or death days later. None of this is to be taken lightly.
Read my new post!!!!! Please I posted an update !!!!