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  1. The key words here “He put in zero effort and everything would have to be initiated by me”

    Is this the relationship that you want?

    You don't say how long you have been together, but he was attentive and such before this change. It has now been over a year and he is still dedicated to his feelings to the point of having met her.

    He freely admits that he is in love with her and this is giving him the motivation to change his entire life.

    Why would you want to hang around and wait for him to decide to move to Korea or whatever he decides to do with his life?

    Competing for attention with a fantasy idol is a waste of your energy. Perhaps it is time to consider what you want and how you can get it. Take a leaf out of his playbook and look after you, not him and his needs. Because he isn't going to do it then you need to. You are worth it and deserve to be loved and cared for.

    Thoughts:-

    The job of an idol is to encourage fans to support them, to buy goods and spend money on them, they do this by projecting an image. Maybe some of them are less fake, but many of them are a created marketing showpiece that they dare not be themselves and are not allowed to even choose their own hair colors or clothes.

    This is who he is “in love” with, a marketing tool. Think about that for a hot minute, then think about the real person he has in front of him.

    Now what you do with that is up to you.

  2. Damn honey you are drawning! You are desperate for help and there is no shame in asking for it. But you are asking at the wrong place. You hubby cant help you at home, he is to busy maintaining your lifestyle. How about instead of your in laws stop praying for you and help out with the care for your kids. Considering you are goin to give birth to number 3 shit gonna move to entire new level of 'o damn'!

    Wifey and me have 4 kids under 7, we both work, we are from europe btw, and we manage to not drawn cuz her mom, my parents help us with the care of our kids. Not with money, but with time. And imo u desperatle need somebody to step up and help you out at home.

    About your hubby, maybe, what you posted here is a good start. You desperatly need to start communicating. Maybe this option will be good: summurise your feelings, no blame game, just show him your world and put it on paper or email or IM him. That way you can give him time to read, process and hopefully respond. Open a chanel of communication and i think shit will resolve it self, but it will take some time and work.

    Goos luck.

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