Ppl on the internet we say you are bad friend or person for not revealing yourself but majority of them, statistically wouldn’t let go of a close friend who cheats. That’s just the nasty truth.
Telling her this way is the best, or try give dates and settings for her to catch him.. She’ll start having suspicions
Wait so you’re happily married but you’re enjoying being complimented by guys you used to go to school with and you have been obsessively checking your phone and getting anxious about being left on read. Why are you spending time thinking about them and their opinions of you when you’re a “happily married” woman?
My advice? You forgot to add the ex to the boyfriend in your title and post.
Also, keep your on-and-off relationship off. There must be reason you broke up before, and they're probably still there. Well, them and another one now.
As a woman, I don't think it's a you problem. I would be seriously pissed, not about women harassing my boyfriend, but about him keeping me a secret and not turning them down clearly.
Okay this is not cheating, since he was not with you, but please look at this honestly: he JUMPED at the occasion to throw his pregnant wife out of the house. He didn' leave, he threw you AND the unborn baby out.
Then he began sleeping around. I'm sorry but this looks very bad. It looks malicious and like a part of him couldn't wait to have this occasion to sleep around. Hell, you know what they say about cheaters? They are especially paranoid, bc since they cheat or WANT to cheat, they think other people are like that too. They think it's the normal way of thinking.
Your husband instantly believed you were cheating… and threw himself at other women. I'm not saying he was cheating before But IMO he wanted to. His behavior is super suspicious. Also, it speaks so badly of his character, the way he treated you – and the baby! – and now he cries and acts like he's the victim.
If you want to stay, stay. It's your decision. But please do not stay just for the child – it's way worse to have a toxic father who treats mommy badly than not to have one. The relationship will be modeled as the norm for your kid, it will f them up.
She's already dependent on his income. Did you miss that part? It's their “arrangement” and she's going to break it when she got hers because the idiots of Reddit are telling her to.
why aren’t you there with him, though? you can surely get backstage access even in the green room or whatever is there to hang out. my wife is a mixed materials artist and I attend every vernissage.
not being judgmental; but if his practical needs are met and he’s lucky enough to be financially unburdened, and he loves what he is doing, what’s the problem? that’s a wonderful thing to have in a partner
This is my feeling as well. When she gave me her phone, I looked to recover the messages but they were deleted and not cached. As far as I can tell, there's no way to recover the conversation she was having.
Their daughter will have to answer for that, not you. And I genuinely hope her parents hold her to the fire and make her cover those expenses. It's not your problem man, don't be fretting about any of that.
Well you two seem to be rushing the emotional side with the “I love yous” after a few weeks. Give her some time and then discuss what your values about sex are and what hers are. If they don’t line up then you may have to find someone who’s a better fit. But if you’re saying I love you to each other then you better be able to have hard discussions together or it’s all playing house.
You don't get that it wasn't about “misjudging” her. This is not how people end up in FWB situations, you fucked up in how you did it, not in asking the wrong person.
I grew up this way. My dad’s house never had functioning heat in the high mountain desert. Temps would often be 10 degrees f. Our only option for warmth was to stay near the fireplace until bedtime, then run to the sleeping bag. Showers were freezing and 5 min max. Had to start and stop water to soap and rinse. It was camping, but at home.
There were some good things to learn out of the drill, but overall, it was a miserable experience. It’s reasonable to be energy-efficient. We all should be. But we are humans and we have found ways to manage the climate. Our goal should be to find ways to do this sustainably, and those ways do exist. The goal shouldn’t be to live like we are animals without the capacity to adapt to our environment.
Dude it’s over. Accept what’s happened and that this isn’t going to work out. You want kids and she doesn’t. Five years wasted by the both of you and you’ll both be starting over at 29 but at least you can both find someone with the same idea of a family.
Apologize to her for your actions, end the engagement, sort out the particulars between the two of you and get out of the relationship.
You didn’t deserve how either of those selfish men treated you. Stay away from your now-ex bf. He’s a selfish jerk who lacks basic compassion bc of his dick-centered ego. I’m so so sorry. Put up and big wall between you and him, and focus on healing.
Definitely mental.
Ppl on the internet we say you are bad friend or person for not revealing yourself but majority of them, statistically wouldn’t let go of a close friend who cheats. That’s just the nasty truth.
Telling her this way is the best, or try give dates and settings for her to catch him.. She’ll start having suspicions
If you don't listen to this guy and have some( I mean SOME) respect for yourself, so far you've shown you have none. You are in for a miserable life.
Wait so you’re happily married but you’re enjoying being complimented by guys you used to go to school with and you have been obsessively checking your phone and getting anxious about being left on read. Why are you spending time thinking about them and their opinions of you when you’re a “happily married” woman?
Why is she accepting the presents?
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My advice? You forgot to add the ex to the boyfriend in your title and post.
Also, keep your on-and-off relationship off. There must be reason you broke up before, and they're probably still there. Well, them and another one now.
As a woman, I don't think it's a you problem. I would be seriously pissed, not about women harassing my boyfriend, but about him keeping me a secret and not turning them down clearly.
Yes, it was cheating. Drinking doesn’t make you cheat.
“Sex with people” as in MULTPLE?
Okay this is not cheating, since he was not with you, but please look at this honestly: he JUMPED at the occasion to throw his pregnant wife out of the house. He didn' leave, he threw you AND the unborn baby out.
Then he began sleeping around. I'm sorry but this looks very bad. It looks malicious and like a part of him couldn't wait to have this occasion to sleep around. Hell, you know what they say about cheaters? They are especially paranoid, bc since they cheat or WANT to cheat, they think other people are like that too. They think it's the normal way of thinking.
Your husband instantly believed you were cheating… and threw himself at other women. I'm not saying he was cheating before But IMO he wanted to. His behavior is super suspicious. Also, it speaks so badly of his character, the way he treated you – and the baby! – and now he cries and acts like he's the victim.
If you want to stay, stay. It's your decision. But please do not stay just for the child – it's way worse to have a toxic father who treats mommy badly than not to have one. The relationship will be modeled as the norm for your kid, it will f them up.
She's already dependent on his income. Did you miss that part? It's their “arrangement” and she's going to break it when she got hers because the idiots of Reddit are telling her to.
You do know there are catfish in Denial River?
why aren’t you there with him, though? you can surely get backstage access even in the green room or whatever is there to hang out. my wife is a mixed materials artist and I attend every vernissage.
not being judgmental; but if his practical needs are met and he’s lucky enough to be financially unburdened, and he loves what he is doing, what’s the problem? that’s a wonderful thing to have in a partner
Please find his gf and let her know what her man is up to.
Either that or he ain't into you (actions speak louder than words).
That is absolute lunacy and she should be ashamed of herself
I highly doubt your relationship is going to survive this
The only thing that’s really changed as she’s gained a little weight. According to her, that’s not the problem or an issue.
On principle it feels a little stupid spending the money and the effort when I know the same wouldn’t be reciprocated
You are a very controlling person, from what I'm reading here. She is stepping outside of your relationship probably because of this.
– You try to control who her friends are and who she can hang out with.
– You try to control where she goes and what she does.
– You went through her phone without asking.
– You mention your money as 100K of it being “yours”. You're married. All of that money belongs to both of you.
She agrees with you to your face on things because it's easier when dealing with a very controlling person to do that.
This is my feeling as well. When she gave me her phone, I looked to recover the messages but they were deleted and not cached. As far as I can tell, there's no way to recover the conversation she was having.
Their daughter will have to answer for that, not you. And I genuinely hope her parents hold her to the fire and make her cover those expenses. It's not your problem man, don't be fretting about any of that.
Well you two seem to be rushing the emotional side with the “I love yous” after a few weeks. Give her some time and then discuss what your values about sex are and what hers are. If they don’t line up then you may have to find someone who’s a better fit. But if you’re saying I love you to each other then you better be able to have hard discussions together or it’s all playing house.
You don't get that it wasn't about “misjudging” her. This is not how people end up in FWB situations, you fucked up in how you did it, not in asking the wrong person.
Dump his ass
I grew up this way. My dad’s house never had functioning heat in the high mountain desert. Temps would often be 10 degrees f. Our only option for warmth was to stay near the fireplace until bedtime, then run to the sleeping bag. Showers were freezing and 5 min max. Had to start and stop water to soap and rinse. It was camping, but at home.
There were some good things to learn out of the drill, but overall, it was a miserable experience. It’s reasonable to be energy-efficient. We all should be. But we are humans and we have found ways to manage the climate. Our goal should be to find ways to do this sustainably, and those ways do exist. The goal shouldn’t be to live like we are animals without the capacity to adapt to our environment.
Dude it’s over. Accept what’s happened and that this isn’t going to work out. You want kids and she doesn’t. Five years wasted by the both of you and you’ll both be starting over at 29 but at least you can both find someone with the same idea of a family.
Apologize to her for your actions, end the engagement, sort out the particulars between the two of you and get out of the relationship.
You didn’t deserve how either of those selfish men treated you. Stay away from your now-ex bf. He’s a selfish jerk who lacks basic compassion bc of his dick-centered ego. I’m so so sorry. Put up and big wall between you and him, and focus on healing.