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Date: October 29, 2022
Maybe consider that she just isn’t mature enough to take the relationship seriously.
How can you have a close relationship with people who abuse you? Stay away from them. Get some counseling.
What does no need to scroll up mean? Was the message you saw just platonic and friendly? What was in the scroll up messages?
I just got into work and whaddya know, a lot of stuff wasn't done. I've taken pictures.
If he keeps disrespecting you boundaries, it may be best for yall to split up. You clearly told him it made you uncomfortable but he's continuing.
Even more ick. Her husband is not wrong in thinking he's a loser ?
She has been thinking about breaking up for a long time. She has already grieved and moved on. One of the ways I always knew when a relationship was over for me is when I no longer felt angry or sad.
I am sorry.
As a woman I'm telling you to get your emotions in check cuz you will have menstruation most of your life and you being a bitch to people will only make you hated.
Second learn how to trust your partner, past mistakes can be fixed. Just because your friend had a crush on your bf doesn't mean he has to suffer cuz of it. He didn't do anything. Your friend did and if she had a crush while knowing you two are together i hope she is ex friend now.
You didn't read my initial concern and that's a “you” problem. Next time learn how to read.
You should nail your best friend, film it ( with best friends permission) than show it to your girlfriend. This will help her understand how you feel about your best friend.
Ask her to find the time, you're busy too and you make the time for her. Even if it's every other week it could help immensely.
What about you being with and hanging out with your other friend who you said you were with when this was happening? Are they not friend enough for you? Did the other 5 friends maybe think that you were with them so they didn’t invite you? Did they maybe not invite you because they don’t get on with the friend you were hanging out with?
Think about the other things here like I mentioned above from their point of view and from the point of view of the person that you were with.
There is nothing at all to read into this in my personal opinion and I guess that you are very young based on your post. Just remember it’s very very healthy and important to have several different friends that aren’t in the same social group, it’s healthy and important to have different types of friends who are not all the same. Having a group of friends like you and the other 5 means that you all end up being not yourself and all following each other like sheep.
Don’t stress over it OP
Maybe try couples therapy first? Sometimes having a third person to listen to both sides can help?
Maybe going into therapy for yourself? To learn how to cope and getting your own mechanisms to either help him, or communicate better? Maybe you need to pull back and stop doing so much for him? (I’m not trying to be rude to you so I am sorry if this comes off that way)
Medication can also help – especially if he is suffering from executive dysfunction. That could be part of the root cause of his behavior. Or it could be his choice.
At the time we used condoms. Now I have an iud. They place those for free whilst they are already down there
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You aren’t compatible and should break up for both your sake. Round hole square peg
Unless you like drama in your relationship, then it is time to move on. Her ex is probably still in her life and she could be looking to monkey branch to someone else.
The relationship is still new. Consider moving on as lying and gaslighting you is not the way to build a relationship.
You made and gave birth to the child. Unless the father concedes you're on the hook for child support as your minimum parental responsibility normally. Parental rights are not easy waved otherwise every man that regrets getting a woman pregnant would do so. You made a bad decision in having no legal agreement beforehand so now you have 18 years where you pay for the lesson learned.
That's part of the imbalance between being a man and a woman ….
…. Yes you should call it quits. I feel sad for you that your considering being with someone that you aren’t sexually attracted to.
Assuming your standards aren’t ridiculously high, you deserve to feel attracted to your partner. EVERYONE does.
Your life together where the sex is unsatisfying, he's looking at other men's junk and getting drugs dropped off at your home?
Girl. Wake up. Actually, fine, be deluded all you want, but do NOT be so selfish as to bring a child into this mess.
Yes, it's definitely heading that way if we can't resolve this. I just don't want to think about it right now because it's hard.
Did you formally introduce her to your friends? If you didn’t, you should have.
It sounds like you’re both immature and incompatible. Just from what you said it sounds like you weren’t a very supportive partner. This relationship is over, first loves are hard to get over. But there will be more loves and more heartbreak. Try to take what you’ve learned and take that to the next relationship
People don't get put in jail “for a few days” after assaulting someone that badly anyway.
Anyone want to take bets on how long until the gym buddy sends a topless progress pic?
I live in a society where everybody I know has a body pillow(we call it bolster pillow) and I can't imagine growing up without it. I'm 29 and I still sleep with one, so does everyone I know including my girlfriend.
Huh, thanks for unlocking another core terror- if it weren’t for the ages and kid status, my husband could have written this post!
I am not going to lie, facing the loss of just about everything you’ve worked and dreamed of is a real pisser. The humiliation of not being functionally independent in any way burns. The guilt knowing the burden you’re placing on your loved ones… and then there’s the actual pain that keeps you up at night and tires you out. Good times. I have to say I can’t help but empathize with your wife’s position here.
I do know (particularly as I have kids) to hide that bitterness so it doesn’t poison my family. It is tempting to get stuck in the ‘waiting for things to go back to normal stage, but Yes, she is going to have to buck up. But you are too.
You’re both going to accept that you have a new normal. I mean, if you divorce her, aren’t you still going to have to make your own dinner? So you make a plan together, one that meets both your needs. She focuses on not burying you in her misery. You guys find disability support, whether it’s SSDI or other things and hire someone to help with tasks in the home.
Is her condition completely degenerative or is it autoimmune, like mine? I know a woman who had severe organ threatening RA, who found the right meds, went into remission, had two symptom free pregnancies and is a practicing attorney. A cure may not be in the cards, but unless there is no reason to think differently, don’t assume it will always be that bad.
Finally, my rational brain says it is natural to want to get the hell out of dodge if you can, but I hope I wouldn’t be that person. My husband certainly isn’t and has raised himself to the challenge like the prince among men he has always been. But he would be that same stand up guy if he were a single parent to our kids, or caring for an aging parent.
Whatever you decide, please don’t abandon her until after you’ve helped her develop a plan to live in her new reality. Hopefully as she regains (or realizes she still has) some agency, she’ll be able to find her path forward, whether with you or on her own. Good luck.
How you should deal with it? Get rid of her. She assaulted you and maybe she’s trying to baby trap you.
I’m so glad I’m not 20 anymore
She shouldn’t shame OP. Maybe she actually saw some of it online, or something,and it freaked her out. It’s one thing to say your ok with SO being a former sex worker. But it’s different if you actually see it. Some stuff you can’t unsee, or forget about.
I mean you’re dating someone who is sexual and who is not a virgin – of course he had sex before.
If you dated an asexual, you wouldn’t have these jealous/uncomfortable feelings right?
Insecurity sucks. But man, she chose you.
I made a long post on it before, but size is really not an issue for most girls. Too big is uncomfortable, and you have to be really really small to not hit those first 2 inches. Even if you are, there are a ton of sexual things to do. Great sex is way more than PIV. My partners best experience, out of a large pool to choose from, was also the smallest guy. He brought it, and rocked it.
She chose you. You clearly have got what it takes, so don't let old history or personal insecurity screw it up.
You won't ever beat a person's first kiss, or first crush. You can't recreate the atmosphere, the events leading up to it, the rush of the first time. So don't drive yourself crazy trying to.
She chose you. Now go live life with her!
Okay 1, therapy my dude. Insecurity like that is such a shitty thing.
Just because he made her orgasm more doesn’t mean it was better, per se. My partner asked this stupid ass question too but was more of a “what’s the most orgasms you’ve had in a session” and I answered honestly which he knew wasn’t him. He then made it his mission to surpass that number and I didn’t even realize that was happening until he beat it and was all proud. He could’ve just asked or let me clarify that they weren’t awesome orgasms and that session with that ex was actually part of the reason I broke up with him… cause he did not take me into consideration and hurt me. So although my partner hadn’t reached that at the time, I enjoyed our time 10x more. Honestly, I’ve never though much about comparing sizes. You kinda forget and it’s more of the intimacy. Friends used to joke (kinda shitty joke but I guess it rang true for most girls) that big ones were painful but were fun for a good time. You didn’t marry that, you married a bit more normal size and enjoyed that MORE long term. Do with that info what you will but size is not important in the grand scheme of things to MOST (not all, but majority)
No can't afford a special needs nanny. Our son can't be watched by just anyone. No family nearby.
Ummmm, absolutely not. She can upgrade to that ring on their 10th anniversary or something so they can afford to pay it themselves. Find a cheaper ring that's around the same style or something
I think you two need some time apart, even a long weekend, to really think about what you want from your futures. Then come together and have a conversation.
You need to really spend some time thinking about your vision of the future. Do you want kids? What kind of lifestyle do you want? Honestly, your initial, gut reaction screams that you do want kids.
Then talk again on more stable ground.
If you decide to continue the relationship, absolutely pre marital therapy. You two absolutely need to be on the same page going into this and you two are absolutely not on the same page at all.
They are not even remotely similar. Having a child is much more complicated and involves a WHOLE OTHER PERSON. You can end a marriage, you can’t (legally) end a child.
You guys are young and him being in a rush is kinda weird. I’d say break it off because 4 months is way too soon for that talk and it won’t go away.
Disregarding your opinions and inserting his own is a red flag… so is talking about marriage and kids at the 4 month point.
Thing is, he thought he really had you over a barrel there by pointing out that you aren’t putting out enough!! But he’s completely taking everything else you do for granted! Emphasis on taking.
OP has posted multiple posts about how this relationship just isn't healthy by the farthest stretch of the imagination… and this is just the cherry on top.
OP i have poly friends who met each other both as being into being poly but wasn't seeing anyone else. My husband and i are very traditional and monogamous. So i have nothing against poly people. My friends are wonderful but they have a great understanding and a healthy relationship with set rules, boundaries and alot more respect than I've seen in alot of relationships.
My point being they both came into the relationship wanting the same thing, feeling the same way about seeing others and being sexually active with others just like my husband and i could never because personally my ass is way too jealous to share my husband and we both see that as dealbreakers in our relationship. Point blank.
You and ur gf have trust issues and insecurities going into this! You feel bad when she hangs out too much with people that arent you and she dismisses ur feelings very often from ur posts. She's ultimately saying she wants to sleep around while keeping u as a backup plan.. she doesn't want to be monogamous and if u force her she will probably cheat.
You don't want to be poly and if she forces u ur gonna be miserable picturing her sleeping with others while she expects u to do the same. Can u honestly force urself to be okay with some dude fucking ur chick and her doing everything with him she does with u? Reacting to another person touching her the same way she does with you… or better!
Picture that in ur head for a second…
I know that's a bit harsh to think about it. But thats gonna be ur reality
You two aren't compatible. Not just because of this but because you just dont have a healthy relationship to begin with!
If you can’t trust somebody because of that then you should probably make it known and move on.
If you can’t trust somebody because of that then you should probably make it known and move on.
If you can’t trust somebody because of that then you should probably make it known and move on.
24 and 29? Come on, that’s not that big of an age gap.
To put it in perspective, I'm turning 27, on track for a PhD and I had to come back due to rent until I am working. Depending on the City and her career choice, moving out at 19 is either stupid, impossible or stupid and impossible
Hard pass. Two major deal breakers right here – religion and financial goals. I’m not even going to go into how fragile and gullible one must be not to see through the scam.
Alert his family that he’s being taken for a ride, pack your stuff and leave.
There's a lot to unpack here. Leaving a comment to see what others say.
This is something to discuss with him – only he knows if he's going to find it disrespectful or emasculating or if he's going to be in favor of getting married at all, and we can read his mind even less than you can. I know hetero men who are for their girlfriends proposing and men who are adamantly against it, and it doesn't always align with their pro/anti woman stances. Lots of guys say they're pro feminism but actually have such fragile masculinity that their female partner out earning them or proposing to them would send them into a tailspin. But I've also seen other cases where the guy's genuinely a good man and is overjoyed with his future wife proposing. If you don't know how he's going to feel about it, you don't know him well enough to propose and you shouldn't do it until you're actually sure.
Good for you for standing up for yourself. You’re doing nothing wrong. You drew a reasonable line and stuck to it. That’s just called self respect. Good luck.
I am truly flummoxed by this one. No parent should have total control over one aspect of their children's upbringing. It's always a two way parental discussion; there have to be compromises sometimes. Your bf's reaction to you saying “what if they don't want to go into science” says quite a lot. He made it plain that “the child has to go into a scientific field” and no parent should do that to a child.
It does sound like your bf needs therapy for some trauma for him to react so strongly to this and to be so insistent on having his own way. It's possible that this relationship isn't going to work out because you can't in good conscience agree to his demand. I do hope it works out for you.
Sorry you are in this position but she seems to be cutting off her nose to spite her face. She demands you take care of your son while at the same time taking your kids away from you and moving cross country. I could understand if she simply didn’t want to be part of raising another woman’s child but taking her children away in the process seems more than radical and hypocritical.
Here’s something I would propose as a compromise. Tell her taking the children across country is unacceptable and you will fight her tooth and nail and will demand that the courts not allow her to do it. However, you are willing to have a legal separation with separate dwellings if she stays in town and you have joint custody that both of you can agree on. Tell her if she doesn’t agree to this you will force her into marriage counseling, you will drag this out for years and no judge will allow you to move away with joint custody in the end.
This more or less gives her what she wants while still holding out hope of reconciling eventually. You may even agree you come back together after the boy grows up. Unless of course, she is hiding something else like a man in the area she wants to move to, she should agree to this.
lgbtq isnt an adult concept
Me too! Butthole! Lol
She needs to talk to a professional