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Date: October 24, 2022
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I'm not saying this one instance makes her wild. I mean if he finds out she did have a looser, wilder lifestyle before him, that's okay to not be okay with it.
She’s not a doctor or nurse. What is she?
She’s probably interested in him and wants to see if it’s is mutual before she dumps you. If it isn’t then she will come back to you until she finds another love interest.
Please do not do this.
This exact reason. You should still be getting checked regularly even with a partner. For one reason because people cheat all the time, for a second reason because STDs can lay dormant or have been missed on a test.
Talk. Voice your boundaries clearly. DO NOT threaten to leave. That's extremely ineffective and just puts more tension onto the relationship.
Take a moment when both of you are calm and relaxed and tell him that you need your boundaries to be respected. Tell him that you can find some compromise (only if possible and if you really want to) and try to make him understand that this really means a lot to you.
Don't give up on things if is makes you feel uncomfortable.
If he doesn't understand that's disrespectful. That's it
honestly dude sounds like she’s messing with your mind. I strongly suggest you look at other parts of your relationship and see if she’s being unkind/abusive as well. My abusive ex husband used to tell me after I had our kid what I was never going to be as attractive as his ex gf because she was the epitome of sexy, but he still found me attractive and I had to be grateful because he’s choosing not to leave me. Seriously man please look after yourself, and always know: You. Are. Enough.
Yeahhhh anyone who can be with someone like that has their own massive red flags we are not hearing about.
Kids of today..
Your funeral.
your girlfriend sounds like a really healthy individual. I think it was good that you ended that friendship if you think your friend had other intentions that would jeprodise your relationship. honestly, sounds like you have some warped views on how relationships should be (could be things that happened in the past or how your past partners were) but I think if you feel that way you should definitely speak to her about it and see where her head is at. maybe she feels a little jealous but is mature enough to know you are with her/no need to make a deal out of it and thats so healthy! (imo)
Dude if I had the opportunity to not have to work… y’all are splitting bills 50/50 I’m not sure what the issue is. Maybe it’s because I fucking hate life with the job I’m stuck in but imagining a world where I had time to do the things I like and not struggle financially… I’d be damned if I’m going to waste my time doing a job I don’t need or enjoy.
If it were not for the baby I would suggest that you move on but as the child will needs and deserves both parents I think the two of you should seek couples therapy/counseling. The goal would be for the two of you to learn new skills that will help you to hear each other rather than yell at each other. The problem is most likely not that you don't care about each other, rather that you do not communicate your fears, concerns and stresses well.
This can not be a true story, no way. But if you are practicing your writing skills good job. But I don't believe that happened.
Well, first put your foot down about expensive notebooks and dog food. Say 'No.'
I say that to them because I don't want to lie about my intentions.
Man we’re women we’re just raging with hormones especially at that age
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Sounds like a late night visit from your friendly neighborhood plug, dude. Or maybe the rando was just looking for another house and your man gave him directions..? I’m not saying I wouldn’t be weirded tf out if I were in your shoes bc that’s def some potentially sheisty nonsense, but there’s always the possibility that it could be totally benign.
Him being defensive is strange, no doubt. Maybe it’s because of how you approached him about it, though..? I don’t know y’all or your dynamic, so please don’t think I’m saying you’re in the wrong for getting skeeved out and asking. ?
Lawyer up hit the gym. Took 4 years to get caught.
“she says she likes this guy” How does he taste when she kisses you? If you can live with that disrespect then stay married. Otherwise have some self respect and leave her.
Put it on the couch/chair, it can be the couch blanket. Hang it on the walls even, my mum has done this and it makes the room look cosy.
Yeah, I have never once needed lube, not even when masturbating. My vagina is a champ in that regard.
The only way to get over her is to stay no contact and not backslide. Focus on improving all other areas of your life for distraction. Good luck
His mom only cares for her son and not about you. Always keep that in mind. Her son is abusive, cheated on you and has been harassing you and she doesn’t care. It’s irrelevant why the break up happened, you don’t want him in your life anymore, it’s not working, it’s over. Don’t try to bend over for these people, they don’t care about you.
No, this is something you want to do face to face, in order to gauge reactions.
Lack of hardness does not equal unwilling. He should have used his words like a big boy.
How does she feel about it?
It’s possible he might be doing it for a thrill. But its still wrong and he needs to be brutally honest about what he has been up to. Only then can you make a judgement on whether you should forgive him or break up.
That’s not what he was saying though. It’s about being able to afford the same lifestyle. He can afford the bills at his current salary and OP can’t so he said she should do all the cooking and cleaning to make up for the fact that she can only pay 70% of the rent he would be charging. While I don’t think OP should’ve had to do all the chores I think it’s fair that the person who is paying less in bills does more housework to even things out.
Can you honestly believe 100% all she said, or do you feel that, in a week or two something else may com
She told the same thing to her best friend, So I do believe its truth. Shes never one to lie to me.
But you are right. And I know this was a catastrophe waiting to happen, but I feel like it's my fault cause I was like “Go, so you can see one of your favorite bands.” I don't wanna break up with her, and I told her I had no intention too,, but I also told her that all trust I had with her there and then some…is just gone.
And she understood that. She would never cheat on me, I know that. But I mean, if Im not by her, it's like what if shes lying.
Wasn't the dudes girlfriend right there though? Why would he be flirting in front of his own girlfriend. I don't understand why he would do that at all.
No to both.
There’s problems in the relationship you aren’t seeing.
It’s roots are probably outside the bedroom and in your dynamics.
You gotta talk to figure that out.
Intimacy is usually a peaks and valleys thing very long term, but you constantly work on it.
If he can’t intimacy may be more symptom of a larger problem.
No probs. Yeah, it didn't look particularly fun for the men to have to face rejection at every turn. It's even worse when the person you live with is getting literally hundreds of messages a day.
Dude. You’re protecting so much on to her and now trying to make yourself the victim. You’re everything you accuse her of. What you wanted to accomplish by your confession was for her to reciprocate. That was selfish. You were trying to manipulate her into a relationship. You knew she had trouble making friends and just wanted a friendship and you didn’t care. Now that you can’t get with her your ego is more precious to you than the friendship you faked. Get over yourself
I‘d put moving in together on hold until he understands what it means to live together. There’s some furniture in mine and my boyfriends home that I absolutely despise – but his furniture means a lot to him and holds sentimental value so I deal with it. I‘m sure there’s stuff I own that he‘s not all happy with, too.
Having a space dedicated to yourself is honestly a great idea. Everyone needs time for themselves and a place where they can express themselves. Don’t let him take that from you.
She was being a condescending jealous bitch and you (finally) called her out. Now all of the sudden she is the victim. Don't fall for her (and your other friends) bs. And stop reaching out to her to apologize. You did nothing wrong.
Yikes
She told you this bcs AP's wife is on the warpath. Beforehand she was fine with lying to you. She's cheated on you physically and emotionally. Now she's asking you to be a placeholder relationship while she sees how it goes with AP. Dude, blow up this relationship and let her move forward with this dumpster fire. BPD x 2 isn't likely to last long. It's more likely to be a burn bright and fizzle kinda thing.
Just dont travel? Have you tried voicing that to her?
Seems a bit much to just jump to splitting up because of something like this.
Communicate please.
Ah yes, “I don't like that others can literally see my gf tits” is a very possessive thought. Sure.
People have different tastes, you do know that, right? Hell, I wouldn't want to have a gf who dresses like that. And I especially wouldn't want a girl who gets all emotional when I voice my worries. They ain't compatible in the long run.
This is bullshit.
A junk is just a junk, but it's not like I'd use some transparent trousers where your be able to see my dick, and used this phrase with my girlfriend when we get together with her friends.
I agree as many other say that it's a compatibility issue. But honestly OP, most of the people I know, would be uncomfortable with a partner showing her nipples. So I think it's pretty valid you state this, and even breaking up over these.
Everyone is free to do what they want as long as it doesn't harm others, but there are also social conducts out there. It's not like I could just go to social events and fart all the time, and then expect “accept me as how I am”. True, but I wander how many people would accept that.
Absolutely! It is perfectly normal to fantasize! It’s in your brain! It’s private!!
It’s different when it begins to take over things in your day to day life, and in interpersonal relationships. There is a boundary. If it becomes obsessive and they start to stalk or attempt to achieve their unrealistic fantasy then it’s a problem.
But just to think about something and do the private stuff doesn’t mean anyone is a creep.
Unless it’s children. In any circumstance children are off limits. Then it’s creepy immediately.
Having sex with somebody who cares about your orgasm is not “special treatment”, that’s sex basics 101. He must be capable of doing better if it improved briefly after this conversation, so / things could be going on: he’s lazy, he is truly struggling with insecurity, or else he just doesn’t see the sex as lacking because it’s satisfying for him.
None are a good sign for a successful long term relationship. Have you considered seeing a sex therapist?
He's with someone. Stop mooning over him and date local chaps.
Let's say you guys get married and have kids. Then you find out that the husband of one of your couple friends has been sexually molesting their kids… Do you see where I'm going with this?
Good point.
Actually, nerds who think people who smoke cannabis act like stereotypes from 1980s DARE propaganda are the worst. You're just jealous you didn't get invited to cool parties. I'll take a stoner over a narc any day.
Lol she gonna pay for that ? If not then find a new girlfriend
Safety isn't the only reason to not get too intoxicated.
But who took the picture? She said both of bf’s hands were on her! So there’s another person involved.
That promise is void when the underlying arrangement is breached by toxic behavior.
Otherwise, why not just pick up the tab for her kids' college, too…
Get your shit together, or this is going to be a trend in your relationships
If you can’t get a job these days it’s on you, everywhere is hiring. Dumb bs jobs you’ll struggle with but real work is all there baby.
If you live together, who pays the majority of (or all of) the rent? Can you afford to live on your own?
Because you need to dump this jerk.
Then tell her you are not ok with that since that is the truth. I do not becessarily believe she cgeats on you, but she has to acknowledge you need to talk about it properly not through phone. If she asks in texts messages, then refuse her.
With that saud prepare what you want to say to her to settle this matter properly. You know, about your boundaries. You also should plan something to do with her at the time so that she does not feel like she is missing out on something
I never said there aren’t any dangers – you seem to think there are only dangers.
Threesomes aren’t a big deal. Plenty of people do them all the time. Chill.
Not to bring The Fray into this, but sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
Trying to think of an appropriate occasion- do you mean in retaliation? These things are satisfying in the moment but overall you are descending to their level.
Source: on occasion I have a sharp tongue, have said a few mean things I've regretted afterwards.
I took it up as that she wasn’t sure about our relationship herself
Well she kind of is guided by her mom, she will ask me something and I will give her advice and then she says “Ohh ill just ask my mom”
It’s time to walk away.
She definitely is in a different income bracket than I am – or ever will be – and that has caused some minor frictions in the past but never like this. To be fair, when I told her at the start that I might not be able to afford the trip, she offered to pay for it and I could pay her back later, but I felt uncomfortable being in debt to friends.
I just really didn't expect this reaction. If I could afford to go, financially and time wise, I would 🙁
My little sister's pu$$y bf used to do that. They're no longer together.
Your feelings doesn’t matter enough said… why date someone that’s dating someone else
Sex isn't supposed to be a huge issue in a relationship. When everything is matching up and both partners are satisfied, it's literally a non issue. It carries no impending split, or any I'll will to it.
Once you are sexually incompatible, or one person is no longer satisfied, sex becomes a screaming Big Deal.
You are both young, I would honestly walk away. Sexual compatibility is a huge thing for me, and I won't stick around in a situation where we aren't equally matched in the sex department.
Love is not always enough.
This is irrelevant.
If you find her expectations unreasonable, you are within your rights to say so and set boundaries for what you're willing to accept. Making unreasonable demands in return is not a healthy way to conduct a relationship.
Dude. At the end of the day, she's with you. Stop being insecure
I wouldn’t be comfortable with my SO being friends with someone who is cheating. Its called character and it shows you a lot about a person if they condone and facilitate someone’s cheating. But that’s just me.
You can easily make yourself sick, if she is crying and starts coughing it can start your gag reflex and makes her sick, it sounds like she is doing it on purpose since it only happens when she doesn’t get her way and specifically in arguments with you. She knows you’ll stop to help her when she makes herself sick, it’s a manipulation technique and you are allowing it. Honestly your only option is to let her get sick do NOT help her when this happens and when she’s done resume the discussion. I had a friend that would become hysterical (basically throwing a temper tantrum) when we argued but I didn’t let her antics get to me I just waited until she calmed down but I refused to console her and when she was gone we finished the argument. If you let the argument be forgotten you are still giving her what she wants, these disagreements need to be resolved her getting sick in the middle can make small arguments into bigger issues down the road.
That’s why she has to go find it!!! By cheating on her wonderful husband and breaking apart their family!
He's generally okay with guys looking at me, we even joke about it sometimes, but yeah you are right
Not many people know this but traditionally mother of bride and MIL are the only people allowed to wear white other than the bride in the weddings… so it may be a genuine mistake and she may believe this outdated view?! Just tell her you would rather no one wears white. Actually better yet, your partner needs to do it. He can make it an ‘WE would rather no one else wore white’ and make it about any guest rather than her specifically.
I would say though, do you really care?!
Words of affirmation and quality time. He is perfectly to sit together and do nothing. I also enjoy this but I like to try new things and I feel like it is a chore to ask him to do new things with me (he himself would not intrinsically want to do this)
Words of affirmation and quality time. He is perfectly to sit together and do nothing. I also enjoy this but I like to try new things and I feel like it is a chore to ask him to do new things with me (he himself would not intrinsically want to do this)
!RemindMe
I have an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. OP is not safe.
I think she means if something happens to her and she needs me. Does that still apply with your thoughts?
LDRs are not good.
Exactly, and they aren't his girlfriend's to manage! I know it's hard to self advocate at that age but it's necessary. His doctor should have already sent him for assessments in order to get the support he needs, especially since it sounds like he does indeed have ASD or some other sensory input issue. If not, he's just an ah