Honestly it depends on what you want in life and where you are both at on your journey. Do you both want kids? At what age? If he wants them at 35 are you ok with having kids at 26? Do you want to backpack through europe? Do you want to go out clubbing every weekend?… He has lived his 20's, do you think that if you go with him that you will regret it because he wants you to advance too far into adulthood? You are both adults, you shouldnt be swayed by why your friends think, you should think about what you want in life and if his wants dont meet yours then save yourself the heartache
Did you pay for the phone outright and then the contract fees monthly as well, or are the monthly fees part of paying off the phone (this is usually the case where I'm from)? If you've only paid for some of the phone because you didn't buy it outright and you want to walk away knowing you can't possibly be accused of “owing” her anything, then offer her the balance on the cost of your PS5 but nothing more.
If you paid for the phone outright then don't entertain this at all, iphone's cost way more than PS5s.
And you're still not obliged to keep paying for it either way. My ex promised to keep paying the insurance for our dog but backed out after 3 months and left me to cover the expense or put her up for adoption. I think it was a bit of a dick move since he knew she'd be hard to adopt out and he'd always insisted she was “his dog” and he'd be taking her if we split up but there's fuck all you can do about these things when a relationship ends and I've got her all to myself now so ??
Mine did 2k over 2 years. And thats just what I found. I got over it and then three months later I freaked out and accused him of cheating and he told me “I need to get over it and move on or we are done” I never believed he was capable of lying and so I thought with lying comes way worse issues. That was unfair to just paint him as the worst possible human blindly and it fed into my disdained view of the situation. (Cheating to me is only physical acts.) He did tiptoe around that boundary and we evolved and discussed our boundaries.
In a way he is right like we either move on or don’t but I just can’t immediately trust him again so we have been building on that and so far we have come a long way.
We are working on it and trying. If it was one or five girls I wouldn’t of been as mad. But it was 15-20 subscriptions. Counting canceled ones it was over 50-60.
Fuck I would have even watched too I mean fuck we are paying for it and I like chicks too. Just mad about the lies smh. So far hes stoped. Deleted everything and showed me that he did so and did genuinely apologize and discuss it.
I mean porn is fucking free like wtf at first I just couldn’t understand at all.
It just was never talked about and now it has been but I don’t think leaving immediately is always the answer.
It doesn’t make you dumb or a fool to work on your relationship. But i cant stand lying. Thats worse than buying it like fuck I was watching some of it and I almost subscribed myself. One was very body positive and did yoga ooof I’m still so interested in her. Some were just so hot ?
Maybe my opinion would be different if I wasn’t bisexual? But overall lying will not be tolerated in our relationship. I’ve made it clear I will leave if it ever happens again.
The only positive outcome I hope for is that it would make me less jealous someday but definitely not today no ma’am. Im groqing a developing myself currently.
Porn is still a solo activity for each of us and I don’t find it to be cheating if its free and talked about. I would’ve honestly been okay with him buying it if he just showed it to me. I genuinely dont care.
Our relationship is much better now but its a slow progression and it does absolutely suck at first and Im not justifying the behavior at all. You have to really work hard to make it work and Ive met people who disagree with me staying with him…but they have partners who have their own negatives that are honestly worse deal breakers for me. One for example was wildly financially unstable and extremely risky and privy to pyramid scheme investing….thats DUMB. Im not judging but THAT would have to be my boundary. That person was really harshly judging my situation but casually talking about their partners blatant financial abuse… it was just weird. I don’t judge people. Everyone has their dealbreakers and limits and I just found it so strange that her parter was also doing something horrible and was manipulating the conversation like my partner was satan themself ? it seemed like projecting.
We were both expressing how our partners did something messed up but we resolved it and accepted it and i felt like they were trying to tell me that their personal limit should be mine too…
Idk it was just strange. My circumstance was just weird and I would rile her up to leave him due to his wild financial issues but give her real advice to encourage her to talk to him and advocate for herself…not just immediately dump him..
I wont judge you OP of you decide to stay with this perosn. Im not going to force you to leave but you need to continue with a therapist and set hard boundaries.
For example no person would be irresponsibly investing and being financially responsible like that if you want to be with me. 2k is not really that irresponsible…like we could go to casino or strip club and blow that same amount easily on the same concept and content…but 18k is very steep and shows a highly level or irresponsibility and inconsideration
To me financial abuse is unequivocal to jacking off to bitches I also find hot online ??♀️ one is just less worse….but 18k is beyond my level of tolerance.
No abuse is ever okay but by a long shot I find that any relationship could have its problems and I very well could leave at any moment and may leave someday or not. But being negative about your approach wont bide you well in life.
So whatever you do chose to focus on yourself first. But OP 18k probably would be my limit at that point it crosses into financial abuse. At this point this is beyond addiction and was blatant fraud. If he used your name for any of this I would sue his ass.
If i was in your situation and decided to stay (I wouldn’t believe I would personally) I would make tough and hard boundaries about money and get a financial advisor to discuss all finances.
Exactly LOL I’m sure there are women who are ok with that but I wouldn’t say they are that easy to find
Honestly it depends on what you want in life and where you are both at on your journey. Do you both want kids? At what age? If he wants them at 35 are you ok with having kids at 26? Do you want to backpack through europe? Do you want to go out clubbing every weekend?… He has lived his 20's, do you think that if you go with him that you will regret it because he wants you to advance too far into adulthood? You are both adults, you shouldnt be swayed by why your friends think, you should think about what you want in life and if his wants dont meet yours then save yourself the heartache
I have difficulty falling asleep after I've been drinking.
Did you pay for the phone outright and then the contract fees monthly as well, or are the monthly fees part of paying off the phone (this is usually the case where I'm from)? If you've only paid for some of the phone because you didn't buy it outright and you want to walk away knowing you can't possibly be accused of “owing” her anything, then offer her the balance on the cost of your PS5 but nothing more.
If you paid for the phone outright then don't entertain this at all, iphone's cost way more than PS5s.
And you're still not obliged to keep paying for it either way. My ex promised to keep paying the insurance for our dog but backed out after 3 months and left me to cover the expense or put her up for adoption. I think it was a bit of a dick move since he knew she'd be hard to adopt out and he'd always insisted she was “his dog” and he'd be taking her if we split up but there's fuck all you can do about these things when a relationship ends and I've got her all to myself now so ??
Would have got more suspicious if you had arrived later when they had their clothes off.
Mine did 2k over 2 years. And thats just what I found. I got over it and then three months later I freaked out and accused him of cheating and he told me “I need to get over it and move on or we are done” I never believed he was capable of lying and so I thought with lying comes way worse issues. That was unfair to just paint him as the worst possible human blindly and it fed into my disdained view of the situation. (Cheating to me is only physical acts.) He did tiptoe around that boundary and we evolved and discussed our boundaries.
In a way he is right like we either move on or don’t but I just can’t immediately trust him again so we have been building on that and so far we have come a long way.
We are working on it and trying. If it was one or five girls I wouldn’t of been as mad. But it was 15-20 subscriptions. Counting canceled ones it was over 50-60.
Fuck I would have even watched too I mean fuck we are paying for it and I like chicks too. Just mad about the lies smh. So far hes stoped. Deleted everything and showed me that he did so and did genuinely apologize and discuss it.
I mean porn is fucking free like wtf at first I just couldn’t understand at all.
It just was never talked about and now it has been but I don’t think leaving immediately is always the answer.
It doesn’t make you dumb or a fool to work on your relationship. But i cant stand lying. Thats worse than buying it like fuck I was watching some of it and I almost subscribed myself. One was very body positive and did yoga ooof I’m still so interested in her. Some were just so hot ?
Maybe my opinion would be different if I wasn’t bisexual? But overall lying will not be tolerated in our relationship. I’ve made it clear I will leave if it ever happens again.
The only positive outcome I hope for is that it would make me less jealous someday but definitely not today no ma’am. Im groqing a developing myself currently.
Porn is still a solo activity for each of us and I don’t find it to be cheating if its free and talked about. I would’ve honestly been okay with him buying it if he just showed it to me. I genuinely dont care.
Our relationship is much better now but its a slow progression and it does absolutely suck at first and Im not justifying the behavior at all. You have to really work hard to make it work and Ive met people who disagree with me staying with him…but they have partners who have their own negatives that are honestly worse deal breakers for me. One for example was wildly financially unstable and extremely risky and privy to pyramid scheme investing….thats DUMB. Im not judging but THAT would have to be my boundary. That person was really harshly judging my situation but casually talking about their partners blatant financial abuse… it was just weird. I don’t judge people. Everyone has their dealbreakers and limits and I just found it so strange that her parter was also doing something horrible and was manipulating the conversation like my partner was satan themself ? it seemed like projecting.
We were both expressing how our partners did something messed up but we resolved it and accepted it and i felt like they were trying to tell me that their personal limit should be mine too…
Idk it was just strange. My circumstance was just weird and I would rile her up to leave him due to his wild financial issues but give her real advice to encourage her to talk to him and advocate for herself…not just immediately dump him..
I wont judge you OP of you decide to stay with this perosn. Im not going to force you to leave but you need to continue with a therapist and set hard boundaries.
For example no person would be irresponsibly investing and being financially responsible like that if you want to be with me. 2k is not really that irresponsible…like we could go to casino or strip club and blow that same amount easily on the same concept and content…but 18k is very steep and shows a highly level or irresponsibility and inconsideration
To me financial abuse is unequivocal to jacking off to bitches I also find hot online ??♀️ one is just less worse….but 18k is beyond my level of tolerance.
No abuse is ever okay but by a long shot I find that any relationship could have its problems and I very well could leave at any moment and may leave someday or not. But being negative about your approach wont bide you well in life.
So whatever you do chose to focus on yourself first. But OP 18k probably would be my limit at that point it crosses into financial abuse. At this point this is beyond addiction and was blatant fraud. If he used your name for any of this I would sue his ass.
If i was in your situation and decided to stay (I wouldn’t believe I would personally) I would make tough and hard boundaries about money and get a financial advisor to discuss all finances.
Why would you even meet up with the ex in the first place?
Are you attracted to toxicity?
I guess it's fine as long as they don't have a job where their actions could impact anyone else in even the slightest of ways