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❤ Mary ❤, 99 y.o.
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Date: October 23, 2022
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First date behavior like that is definitely grounds to seriously question a second date at all, much less delay it.
Did he learn everything he knows about women from watching the free videos on pornhub? Or, is he just really socially awkward and has no idea how to behave?
First it’s great that you two got him out of the shit hole he was in to keep him on track. His fear is probably losing the two people that actually care about him so he won’t leave so he doesn’t lose you. If you could help him find an apartment that is rather close to you, it might help with the situation since you three will have your own places but you are still close enough to be together. Another suggestion is if you don’t need the rent money he is paying you can set it aside to help him with the deposit. That is a choice for you and your husband to make. It’s something like some parents do for their kids. Talk to him and ask why he doesn’t want to leave.
i think they must have forgot but they should have just fessed up so he could get treatment or whatever not tried to lie about it i agree.
first, i want to say that the way you handled all these interactions sounds impeccable. you're a human, so you're going to have emotional reactions to things. but your willingness to ask questions (“what do you need from me to feel okay?”, genius!) you insights and willingness to not take on his bad behavior as a reflection of you, you checking in and cleaning up your own bad behavior–i aspire to this!
i do think time and space is the best course of action here. but i wouldn't leave without talking to your mum. without disclosing too much or blaming, tell her how things with her husband are tense and you no longer feel welcome during this trip. let her know your concerns about her relationship and reassure her that you're always there for her. if she needs anything or feels overwhelmed, she can call you. if you're not leaving the country right away, maybe make plans to meet her for lunch before you go. and i'd check in with her frequently over the coming weeks.
if i had to guess, this guy might just be butthurt and doesn't have the skills to work through that. he's putting his own ego over the greater good of having solid family relationships. but you can't do that for him. so to me, stepping back a little is probably best for now. i wouldn't step back too far though, especially if you see his behavior impacting your mum.
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Every person has different experiences in life and not every 19 year old is as immature as you think. Take it all with a grain of salt. Are there people who prey on younger inexperienced people? Of course. But not EVERY situation is like that. That’s all I’m saying.
Of course. But if she knew she's depressed and yet didn't do anything about it for 5+ years despite having a supportive boyfriend, then there's something very suspicious about her. OP is either a troll or has a humiliation fetish.
It sucks but atleast you know he isn't interested in long term with you unless he can't find someone else.
So you're his last option to make sure he doesn't end up alone. Personally, I'd prefer to be alone than someone's last resort.
How do you feel?
Can you explain trauma bonding?
This woman does not care about you at all. Pushing you to do this and saying get over your trauma?
That's not a girlfriend or someone that loves you. Period
Pining for external validation seems like a red flag to me ngl
If the genders were swapped then the comments would probably just tell you to break up
I'm aware that this is pretty common in women but it's still a red flag
you are right, and it's a big red flag if she orders enough that the bill is that high when you go out to eat. there's plenty of things on a menu typically that she could choose and not ring up such a huge bill. financially sound people don't do that when they dine out. personally i'd just stop taking her out. it's not right that you constantly fund her entertainment when she can't be arsed to contribute or at least keep the bill reasonable. if she didn't have you to pay then she sounds like she wouldn't be going anyway.
I agree, definitely time to end things.
Bro look I did do that but it was during the time she was going to Texas cause one of her family members passed and now she’s back so I’m not sure anymore maybe she just found someone else she said I just can’t cause one of my close family members passed so it put me in a hard spot but now she’s back and sent me a message but I responded the next day around 3 and hasn’t responded should I try one more time ik she’s active on her socials too
Apologise sincerely, and buy a pizza to put in the lunch room for everyone to share.
You aren't his priority. Be your own priority. Go back home, as you've done your best to communicate your needs, and he's blatantly ignoring them. You didn't sign up for this
I think it’s worth acknowledging that you just made up a very specific scenario here
I mean, I don't think its a huge deal. Sometimes in relationships feelings can get hurt and some people will say rude things sometimes… it happens. Nothing in this situation seems toxic, especially given the fact he's never called you something like that before. The fact that he held himself and really didn't want to tell you until you kept prying shows me that he actually does care about your feelings but was probably just a bit annoyed when you called him stupid this time. That's why the “I can say something too” slipped out his mouth. I honestly think you're kind of overthinking this. If it becomes a reoccurring pattern of frequent insults than that's another issue
Wow. I mean seriously you should end your relationship and keep watching porn because clearly this is a level of maturity beyond your capabilities. Like this was genuinely so pathetic to read it makes me sad people like this exist.
Do a budget with him and you can both see how money is being spent. I've been in both positions. Sometimes you don't realize just how much or how little you're contributing until it's all laid out in front of you.
He removed his name from the accounts, those accounts no longer concern him.
Don't give him information. Don't talk about details. When they bring it up, “I've made my feelings about this very clear, this is not up for discussion. If you continue to push, I will end the conversation.” Then follow through if they keep pushing you.
Be kind to yourself honey, you're doing the right thing fir your dad, that's all that matters.
This trend of trans people not disclosing their trans status to their partners is awful! It’s emotional manipulation to wait for someone to be emotionally invested before disclosing something that could be a dealbreaker
Listen to your friends and family. You are living the proof – you had a brief encounter with her and it set back your healing. For now, stay no contact and be even more disciplined about it. If she’s somewhere, you aren’t. Don’t stay if you see her. Don’t talk to her. Don’t hug her.
You won’t regret it. She seems a bit of a mess and she doesn’t seem to be considering your needs and feelings.
I'm so sorry for what was done to you. Talk to her. This is not your fault and I really do hope that you report him.
So instead of addressing it, he redirects the conversation about you not being happy in a relationship to how sad he'd be if you left him. He really could not care less about how you feel and absolutely was manipulating you.
I’ll tell you an anecdote. There was a girl I worked with at my old company who was/is super nice, sweet as can be. Never one to be rough around the edges. I showed up with my arm in a sling one day and she yelled across the office floor “what happened? Did you jerk off too hard?” Super funny thing I was prepared to hear from anyone but her. Just because you are colleagues doesn’t mean you can’t be friendly like this. HOWEVER it gets more complicated if you are doing this on company systems, on company time, or one works in a position above the other (like one is a manager of some sort). Be careful with that part. That’s way more of a concern, but I don’t get a flirting vibe from the rest.
Everything about the break was a lie. She only regrets getting caught. Shenlied about everything. What are you saving here? A woman only wants a “break” because there is another penis she wants to test drive before.deciding to cut you loose.