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♥Mary♥, 30 y.o.
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Date: October 9, 2022
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No, I’ve tried to get him to go but he freaks out and won’t do it when it comes time to go to the appointment.
I haven’t met one who does this yet soooo no it’s not a typical thing that men do, and to say so is sexist, some guys do it and some men do it , don’t try to make it a one gender thing
doesn’t make it ok lmao??? porn and shit is so normalised it’s disgusting
You’re so fine!!! You made a lighthearted joke and if he doesn’t understand that or takes it to extremes thats a GIANT red flag.
I'm sorry to say this but the whole thing sounds ridiculous. You're single, she has a boyfriend that she sleeps with.
You're not in the wrong. It's your whole relationship with this girl that's in the wrong. If u been sleeping with her then maybe I would understand her being upset tho only from a health and safety perspective.
Dont grow up to be a creep like your brother
Honestly, there are a few perspectives you can take from this. Close true friends will be there, no matter what. However, temporary friends will not. I am not sure as to the extent of your friendships between those you have cut out on her account. But I do notice a pattern from your girlfriend. She seems threatened by female friends, that's as far as I can speculate, I am not sure why but it seems like she wants to establish and for you to know a girlfriend/fiance/wife takes precedence over anyone. I don't think you should favor your girlfriend over someone you perceive as a best friend, IMHO, as they will be there through the thick and thin should you even break up with your girlfriend you have clearly shown you care for.
I think this is an unfair position to put you in. If you have a best friend, then your girlfriend and your best friend have irrefutable places in your life that you don't have to defend or fight for. She needs to be reasonable about this, while some friends she can have a say over, but controlling who you are friends with is unfair and also unhealthy for you and your relationship with your girlfriend as well as anyone you befriend.
It is not a requirement for your partner and your best friend to by proxy by friends. The understanding that she doesn't have to be everyone's friend you are with but you can be cordial and polite and accept that they're your friend is where I feel she is not understanding or accepting. And an ultimatum is never a healthy way to handle this.
The next perspective is cultural, you have mentioned you are an atheist and she is Muslim. There are very definable difference between how you two view roles. One of my close friends is Muslim, and while we are very close friends, but she will ALWAYS put her husband/family first no matter what. I take no offense to that, and understand that is how she manages important people in her life and the extent to which she is willing to do for each. I am also an atheist too, so I did approach her about her abrupt mannerism when she did enact such boundaries. At this point she was only dating him, but the degree to which she clearly defines value of a boyfriend is very different than where I'm from (USA). What it really came down to was understanding the cultural differences that stem from our backgrounds and beliefs, and from there were still close to this day.
The last perspective is reciprocity, what if you were to not approve of one of her friends? Has this happened before? How did she react? Do you think she would give you the same courtesy she has asked of you several times already?
At the end, ask yourself, is this a pattern? Or is her behavior justified? Being your significant other is not a good enough excuse, prioritizing her over your friends is also not enough of an excuse if she expects it everytime no matter the situation.
My answer? You don't. Don't deal with him. Don't get wrapped up in the competitiveness, don't worry about the looks. Have as little interaction with him as possible.
I wouldn't even say he's racist, he just sounds like a prick.
No marriage, if your relationship survives long distance for 2 years, you know you've found the right person to marry.
You're both so young that you're setting it up for failure if you marry now, instead of later.
Ok? Wow. So it's ok for him to hurt your dog because you don't care about kids? Give your dog away. You sound as terrible as your bf.
Because it would be awkward.
The horror.
Could be a 50yo pervert for all OP knows. Definitely meet in a public space the first time(s).
Honestly, it is predatory and creepy for him to have a relationship of any sort with this much younger coworker. I'd be considering divorce.
Thanks.. I didn’t notice.
I would run and never look back, that's just beyond disgusting.
Well unfollow that account now and tell her that it was a mistake? If u genuinely think it was.
You sound like a big ol pussy
“No.” Full stop. “I'm not wearing that/doing it that way.” “I like what i wear, don't police my outfits.” Full stop. Leave the room/walk away in the store if need be. He buys you shit you don't want? Return it or give it/throw it away. My husband last year started telling me I looked unprofessional/didn't like what I worse” and I just kind of ignored him/blew him off. Cue him f getting me an ugly bulky cardigan because “he thought I needed one to look nicer” and I finally popped off. Told him I like how I dress, the cardigan was something a grandma would wear and if he loved it so much he could have it. Told him never to buy clothing for me again and that for someone who wanted me to look professional he sure did go to work wearing wrinkled up, sometimes stained clothing pretty frequently and to shut his mouth unless he had something positive to say about my clothes. Since then there was ONE time he started saying something but he stopped himself when I glared at him. He married me, he knows my style, my boss is fine with my clothes, and just because he doesn't like my aesthetic doesn't mean he gets to make me feel bad.
I wouldn’t say we have screaming matching about being denied sex. We have screaming matches when I bring up not having sex. I’m sure I’ve huffed and scoffed with out even noticing. That probably doesn’t help but it’s really really hard to be turned down nearly every time. We’ve tried scheduling sex but just turns into our schedule disappointment. Almost always it’s “tomorrow I’m so tired”
She has said before that she doesn’t care how big or small it is but I know she would love a nice wedding, I’d just rather give her a ring and be good to go. I’m not very social or big on events like I used to be.
What the heck is she doing for work where she's travrling for nine weeks straight without you?
He lied. That in itself is enough due to the nature of the lie. You're well rid of him.
My fiancé was with a woman for ten years before me who was either ace or gray ace. Most of that relationship’s issues don’t actually sound pertinent to you — because you don’t sound like you’re secretly jealous while telling him to sleep with other people — but I will say, don’t try to keep him if it’s too big a hurdle for him. If he wants sex with you, getting his rocks off elsewhere won’t be satisfying. While a sexual person and an ace person in a sexless relationship can work, you’re both still pretty young and it would likely be in everyone’s best interest to move on from the relationship and each of you finding partners you’re more compatible with. He may want to try a sexless relationship, of course; but don’t hold it against each other if one of you can’t hack it.
He sounds like kind of a douche anyways.
I agree but it doesn’t fix the problem at hand… what’s the right thing? My parents can pay her… and they’re out that money.. or I say fuck it and pay what I can which isn’t close to what she wants… and she’s somewhat threatened legal action as she has attorneys in her family… I’m willing to pay her monthly… but should I too? I’m Trying to get my life right and saving money is part of that, but I can’t save if I’m paying all the bills now and paying her.
That's the reality of living as a woman. It's none of anyone else's business how we deal with the harassment we face. Very often we have to decide between bad options, weighing which one will cause us the least harm.
she also has THREE children she is responsible for supporting. this is not something he needs to do on his own. if they come to an agreement with their attorneys he might not need to pay child support. 50/50 custody, medical coverage, holidays, colleges get all that stuff sorted and ironed out. you can still have issues but lock it down.
I firmly disagree.
Is it possible that Laura is actually… his friend? And that his wife is controlling, obsessive, and stalks him?
Like, if he’s cheating, then yes, leave.
But there’s no real proof Laura is not just emotional support to him. And it’s possible that big move was meant to save their relationship and instead just made the wife more hyper fixated on where he is. And men suck at having friends who can practice emotional support so it could be that Laura is that person for him. If he isn’t happy at home he needs to own up to it. But OP isn’t coming across as a stable and balanced partner with objective takes on her husband’s relationships either.
I dunno. Something about this feels off to me.
Dump her ass
Is it ok if we just break up