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♡Tina♡, 27 y.o.
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Date: October 6, 2022
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Nope, nope, nope, and nope. She needs to be single and in therapy. You need to be out of this relationship. If you can’t figure that out then I don’t know what to tell you.
Your bf needs to get a life. And you need a titanium bar, not glow in the dark crap ?
Nope, you don't get it. Accusing me of lying about somebody's tone of voice. If someone approached you rude as hell, you'd have a problem about it. But that's your life I guess. Easier said than done.
Most people have narcissistic tendencies to some degree. Most celebrities score pretty highly on the narcissistic chart.
Being a narcissist doesn't inherently make you a bad person. Especially if they're self aware and are attempting to work on it/manage it.
It's a spectrum with different levels.
Also, you have three kids with him. Been with him for years. You mean to tell me you've never noticed his tendencies?
Idk what your relationship is like, but if he's mostly a decent partner and a decent father, there's zero reason for you to want to take his children away.
This is easily something you can continue to work through.
However, based on some other comments- I have my doubts this post is even real. It's very similar to another post I saw recently, basically saying the exact same thing.
Rent no, because he’s going to have that regardless. Utilities, that seems a stretch, if he’s really struggling, maybe pass him a $20 for water bill, especially if you like Hollywood baths/showers. Do you use extra heat for just you? My oldest comes home and cranks the heat up to 90, because she’s cold. Or if she’s hot, she turns the AC down to 50. If you aren’t doin that, then occasionally a bathroom light on, when he’s also not in the room seems like a cost he could absorb. If you weren’t hanging at his house, or your house, theoretically, y’all would be going out, which costs money, that maybe you’d split the cost of. If he’s struggling hard. Maybe. But I’d have to see where this is coming from personally. My BIL stayed with us for 3 months, I couldn’t tell much of a difference in our water bill, (about $5-6 increase in a month) or electric bill, (still ridiculously high, either way) Definitely did with groceries, however.
Greg reminds me of that Greg from 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid': bad news who doesn't deserve any apologies.
Yes, legal is a last resort if he refuses to leave – but if he doesn't get going you might need to seriously consider it. If he stays against your will he is violating your privacy and autonomy.
Is it procrastination or is it holding on and not wanting to leave?
Tell him he need to ask friends and family.
And for your sake, if he isn't moving for now can you stay somewhere else to give you some space?
Just like people say weed is a gateway to harder drugs, having a work wife/husband/crush is a gateway to cheating. Just imo
For me, it went on for years and was terrible torture. I was miserable, exhausted, and crabby. I almost lost my job. And it turned out to be a litmus test for everything going forward, it was like a microcosm of how narcissistic he really was. He didn't fix his snoring because it didn't affect him. If I slept on the couch then he would accuse me of abandoning him, that his love language was touch, that he was starved for affection. He also turned out to be a cheater. And he tried to blame that on me, too, because I slept on the couch sometimes. Perhaps if you buy a house with this woman you'll somehow be luckier, but I doubt it.
well he's not a child, he's not with his mother. He was having an emotional moment. His girlfriend, his lover was laying close to him and rubbing him. But cool, she doesn't want to comfort him the way he wants to be comforted. She can't get turned on by him being vulnerable and having an emotional moment in front with her. She could put him in time out I suppose.
I just want to know why you’re still here looking for validation on something every single person who’s come across it says you’re approaching it the wrong way?
If you think responding to every comment confidently is going to actually justify some of the things you noted in your post, you should really think again because it doesn’t work that way. There are things we get wrong. You exposing your kids to someone you don’t know is one of them and it’s a big one. Do your thing. Make it work with this man and be happily together for the next 50 years. But ffs don’t bring two innocent kids into this. They literally don’t need to know this man right now.
I'm not sure what part of that is funny.
You have a problem guest. He is there far too long and is taking up too much space and making too much noise.
However your roommate/boyfriend has some right to entertain guests so it needs to be discussed as a household.
Whether or not you want a boyfriend who loves to host guests who insult you and make you cry is quite another matter – frankly that is one for your therapist. I can't guess why you're making that choice but it is not healthy.
He doesn't have his own place, he never had one. My parents are helping me because I'm studying so I don't have time to get a full time job.
This man is calling her his gf when she’s clearly not… is that not dangerous??
Is emphasis on how she told him
the guy who likes her that some guy came in her
Yikes to all the comments not telling OP that he’s the one with the issue
Her idea, to care for you, because she loves you.
Taking advantage of someones love for you for free caretaking and booting them when you feel better is messed up.
Mine doesn’t 🙁
At 22 why would you need to bring it up with your parents?
Always wantin what you can’t have.
It’s just your brain messin with you, the more you resist the thoughts the more they will persist.
Tell your brain lets think of all the bad stuff we can, before you know it you’ll be on a whole new thought and barely realize it.
It is ?
I don't think that's relevant and even if it was, I doubt it is an issue. It's your life and you get to choose how much of it to share. But yeah that's a non-issue. If anything, shows how strong your character is build yourself up by yourself with hard work.
Yeah you are right. I know it’s possible but I’m also worried of losing our friendship if it doesn’t work out. I’ve brought up open relationships but he is not a fan. Might be time to move on.
Ask her. “It feels like our relationship is over because XYZ. Maybe I am wrong. Is it over for you?” Or something like that.
Go directly at it.
NTA. You didn't misgendered them. You didn't do anything wrong. You aren't transphobic. Your “friend” is being nbphobic as she can't accept someone's experience is different to hers, she is being disrespectful, not you.
You are still very young , your boyfriend sounds VERY mean & your brother is sick.
3 Very good reasons to go back to Arkansas imo.
she has all the right to make the kids keep her surname.
He already offered to make that the case he offered to do a hyphenated name.
If she was feeling lonely she could have sent these nudes to you instead of your friend. See? He reasoning just went to window. Just like her things should.
You should open your own accounts. That way you don't need to keep track of who is contributing what, and if you break up (which you need to consider a possibility in any relationship) you don't have to worry about separating the account or losing all your money.
I don't want to break up a family.
Girl fuck you, you already did break up a family along with him.
The least you can do is tell the wife then your desperate mistake self can have him all to yourself, that's what you want right??
Of all the men in the world and you go for a fucking married man, Woman supporting woman is such a bs statement when females like you do this.
Tell the wife if you're actually sorry and hope you feel the biggest pain and betrayal one day, same goes for the husband, both of you gross, disgusting people deserve each other. You deserve to be cheated on, you deserve someone hurting you and I hope they do.
As a woman how can you do this to another woman for a whole ass decade?? Tell the wife so she can divorce him and you can have his cheating ass to yourself
I'm sorry you've have this trauma from your past, and I admire you for facing up to it. It clear that this is affecting your marriage. This is not your fault. None of this is. It's a normal part of any traumatic experience. You're doing what you can to deal with a truly bad hand you've been dealt. You need to look into getting individual therapy for your trauma, because that is the only way you can begin to heal. Hugs.
Wow. I feel for you and you post on here and you get so much advice don't you. I get the nature of what you are feeling. yet there is so much I don't know about you, your fiancé, or quote clark unquote. With out so very many more details any answer or comment is a shot in the dark isn't it.
First, I think Clark is a bit of a scumbag for springing this on you now knowing that you are engaged. It really isn't a very manly thing to do. So there is that. Maybe it was the grief of losing his dad
Second, there is no one perfect guy for you. You find a guy that you have something in common with. You share the things you enjoy. You have things you learn from one another. You do other things with your friends. You discover that you have shared core values. You have some things you like together and some you don't. You have shared ideas about intimacy. And you go from there to build a life together. Sure you start with infatuation but from there you build a love that lasts a lifetime. And it is very normal to sometimes wonder what if this person or that… would I be happier with him or with him. but mature adult controls their urges and sticks with their promises.
Happy to take it off line if it helps. I have sone experience in this area but it is much to hard to give useful advice in a single post… try as many people will do.