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♡Christine♡, 20 y.o.
Location: prefer to keep in secret
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Date: October 5, 2022
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Well here's an example. You asked how she slept and she told you that she didn't sleep well. Instead of asking why, you could have said it's understandable because you're worried about you friend. There was no reason to keep asking why. You could have also said that she can always text you if she's ever needs even in the middle of the night. My best friend and my family know they can text me if they ever need, no matter what time it is. Be more supportive, and not three year old asking why all the time.
Secretly is the key word.
If you have to hide what you're doing from a partner you're either with the wrong person or doing the wrong thing.
He doesn't want to be with someone taking alcohol, weed or other drugs. That was communicated clearly as it seems and is perfectly OK as a personal boundary in a relationship. OP decided to stay, she was not required or forced to stay. I don't see where the controlling part comes in? She could have left and she still can?
What she can not is just walk back on clearly voiced boundaries. She knew what she signed up for and if she doesn't like it she can unsign it and leave, noone is controlling her.
Obviously not if you were bored of him and wanted to see other people.
You need some serious self reflection
Honestly just break up please listen to your gut love is not this and love encompasses respect he does not.
Welcome to capitalism where birth lottery matters more than hard work. You should be mad about it. We all should be.
You are being a shitty person and so is she. You are banking on the death of another human being who in your own words is a good person in order to start your own life.
Do yourself a favor and move on, find someone who isn’t manipulating you and reflect on yourself and why you would even entertain this idea.
Also consider doing this man a favor and telling him of the emotional affair you and his wife have been having because it sounds like he deserves better…
How are these posts even real
Wow. OK, you need to lighten up on this issue. You're only hurting yourself. It's pretty extreme that a 29 year old would cry because their GF has no interest in and refuses to watch an animated TV production based on the video game League of Legends.
Just because you are OK watching things she wants to watch, doesn't mean she has to be interested in watching what you want to watch. And, as far as setting it up so it would be on in the same room she is attempting to focus on something else…well, let's just say that she understood your passive aggressive effort to force her to do something she already said she didn't want to do and redirected you to another room so you could watch your show. Instead, you cried.
My advice to you is to just watch the show, and enjoy it, without being so weird about it.
Ok so you were a moron and now are worried. You get what you deserve
Please sit her down and talk to her OP. It’s absolutely no use just having these thoughts and convictions running around in your brain. You need to tell her exactly what you are thinking and how you see your future going forward. She can then go about making informed decisions on her own future. Good luck.
I read his story as well. I genuinely think he is part clueless about being sick and how it feels.
And that he has the need for strong patterns of behaviour that he doesn't deviate from and doesn't have an awareness that internally people being sick means – look after me and leave me alone at the same time.
It feels like he has a lack of empathy but not deliberately malicious.
I say this as a person who has an autistic person close to them and some of the ideas they come out with are kinda the same, like not understanding things but wanting to do the same thing every day.
If he was shown how to care for a sick person and deliberately ignored it and was annoyed that you couldn't help him and was being off about you being sick, like you were deliberately not helping and leaving him to do everything and he didn't like that. Then that is a whole other issue of being an AH with intent to harm and that would not fly at all.
You’re probably more acquaintance than friend and in any case you’re not entitled to anyone’s trips. No disrespect, but now you are spending time, work towards friendship.
She spit on you. That is awful.
You acted like you were going to hit her, after the fact right- that is also awful, but you did not hit her, and she had just spit on you. Spitting on a person is considered simple assault. Why are you the one in legal trouble for this altercation?
You don't like each other's kids.
I think you should divorce.
Well you have no reason to believe it will be paid back
Call out the behaviour in front of others. From what you say about him, maybe he's the type who thinks this is banter (I had a colleague who did this mercilessly for years) or a kind of affectionate teasing, so he needs to be told very clearly that you're experiencing it as bullying and hurtful, and that it's not OK with you. You don't have to disclose the hookup.
This is really poisonous thinking, which is how OP ended up here.
There is lots wrong here, most ignored is how this guy was locked into a bad day the moment she decided to start a fight by asking this question.
What is harmless about asking about the thing that makes her most inflamed and unsteady? Her “competition,” the former lovers of her bf. No matter the answer, she was going to act hurt, and he had no choice in whether today was gonna be a good or bad day: she decided for them. Now he has to put whatever else in life is happening to soothe her, while stomach aching over this predicament.
Its not fair to put such a pressure on someone else to answer a question where there are no winners, she will never walk away happy from. He was doomed the minute she asked. That's territory you just don't answer because you WILL get upset and it will change things.
I agree with all of this. My first thought was if she's suffered a head injury in the past like falling over or something hitting her and causing a concussion or something of the like. A disease/similar condition could also be the cause. Even the smallest injuries can have a huge impact and even change a person's entire personality.
For what it's worth I'm worried about OP and the child though and I feel like he should leave or find some way to protect the son if he can't or won't. Because like… Unless it is a problem that can be fixed this isn't fair for either of them to stick out and there's no need to prolong the suffering.
People don’t cheat because they are intoxicated. They cheat cuz they suck. No substance can be blamed for that.
Drown your sorrows today, but tomorrow, get up, chin up and fake it til you make it. I know it’s tough, but you shouldn’t waste anymore time on someone that cheats. You deserve better.
He doesn’t want to marry you. If he said that clearly, it would cause chaos at the moment.
It doesn’t matter if you’re in a bad place or not. If he saw you as his wife, he’d want to have this conversation regardless.
Why does he stay with you? That’s what men do. I’m not saying they’re bad people for this but men like placeholders because why not? I don’t think men like being alone, he gets gf benefits like sex and food- or whatever you do to make his life easier- emotional support… a girlfriend is convenient.
If he wanted you like that, he’d let you know.
You’re compromising yourself for this man. Why?
You could be right, but I don't think you're going to re-educate her easily. My worry would be that when serious things happen, you'll feel like you're shouldering all the responsibility rather than working as a team.
Tell your little boy of a husband to grow a dick already. God, what a baby.
Everybody has HPV he had it before you even dated him. Not that it makes cheating okay but the next story you write make it HIV or hep C
So, he didn't want to be in a serious relationship with you because you moved?
Does this other woman live closer?
Even refers to their relationship as “partners” this guys fucking delusional if he thinks he’s in the right in anyway shape or form.
Exactly! The translation of what he said was that her servitude is what makes this a relationship. It doesn’t matter if that’s what he actually meant (he will argue until his dying day that it’s not want he meant, even while he won’t be able to explain it any other way); that’s exactly what he said.
You're a douche and your friend is right. You don't get to decide that someone has to give you some just because they've given themselves to someone else. This ain't no damn pony ride.
I think they meant Snow White and the 7 dwarves lol
You don't need help. You did a great job of standing up for yourself against a sexual bully, and I say good riddance to bad baggage.
Please stay strong, and don't reach out to him. If he contacts you again, tell him your situationship is over. It's a foolish mistake to play sex games with someone who strongly hinted that he would rape you, if you didn't voluntarily give him what he wants.
It's totally possible to have a satisfying situationship or FWB arrangement with someone who likes and respects you, and honors your boundaries. And your sex life will get even better when you start getting physical with someone who clearly adores you, and asks you to be his GF. This guy OTOH was never interested in being a true friend or a good lover – he never really cared about anything other than his own sexual satisfaction. Besides which, you should have walked away the first time he tried to control who you talked to, and how you dressed. Those would be big red flags for me, even without the additional stress of the sexual coercion.
You deserve to be with someone who likes you for a lot more than just your body, and who is willing to wait for you to be ready to try new things. Your former FWB is simply not a nice guy, he never was, and it's dangerous to mess around sexually with immature bullies. I'm sure you recognize that now. Stay strong, OP!
Stop trying to fix people. Get out that relationship.
Lol wow what an intense “alpha”. 40 yr unemployable alcoholic bum mooches off his GF and beats up women.