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? Keoki Star ?, 29 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms ? Keoki Star ?
Date: November 5, 2022
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Do we know that the friend is a woman?
Maybe the friend is a guy..
Yeah I would, he’s my brother
>>They tell me that I need to come out as gay, or I won't be affirming their identity. They also tell me that any refusal to acknowledge that I'm queer is transphobic, and that I'm displaying internalized homophobia by not coming out. They've also said that my refusal to acknowledge that I'm queer is unsafe to them.
I know they are going through a lot, but this type of pressure to identify as is abusive. Saying that you have internalized homophobia by not coming out, when you identify as straight, is gaslighting. You do not need to sign on to something you don't believe in order to affirm their idenitity? And if you are now unsafe, how about they break up with you? This is a lot of abusive pressure in an area nobody, not even your partner, has a right to so intrusively tread. Your identity is your own, and nobody has a right to pressure you about it. It's OK to no longer be compatible, and to support them as a friend but no longer as a partner.
Holy shit.
That’s illegal. Like super illegal. To have sex without disclosing a life threatening condition? You should advise him to press charges for assault
Yes I work outside and quite literally I could ask any of my male customers for a jacket, and they’d hand it over ?
Why do you think it is acceptable to not want your partner to watch porn?
Real life Michael Scott over here. And willing to bet he’s as old as him too
This guy is another example of someone trying to trash someone innocent into a one sided relationship where you feel like you always have to serve or please him and he doesn't have to reciprocate. He's setting up a dynamic and trying to dominate you into it.
Dump this loser. Write a list of qualities you want in a man. Look for them. There's no fixing this guy's mind, it's warped. He doesn't know how good relationships work. That's not up to you to teach him, and he will just pretend he is listening and subtlety wear you down. You can only teach an open mind, his is firmly closed.
There are loads of men out there.
No your wife is now trash and you daughter will be better off with two happy prenatal divorced.
Don't you need to work at work and not talk all day long with your potential emotional AP?
No, for real.
You exchanged numbers but, oh, off hours contact is the limit.
Really? Do you know why people exchange numbers?
It's like saying “I'm gonna unwrap this candy and lick it once, but putting it in my mouth is off limits”.
Bet, it was not work you were thinking about when giving your number.
It was not needed prior to that but now it's suddenly a very much needed thing to do.
Your poor husband. I sense no respect here…
Well now I feel silly for my previous comment admiring how she handled the situation lol
Bad call on the update, OP. Just file. Breaks don’t work, and you are going to resent her for what she does while you two are apart. Unless you try someone else on during the break. In that case, you’ll resent each other.
Either stay together and work through this or divorce.
Ope, sorry. I’m like your ex, but I think that’s a first date conversation stuff.
It really wasn’t intentional, I’m not sure why I thought that in the heat of the moment, maybe it was my insecurities projecting as I realised I wouldn’t be cool with it if he prioritises another girl over me (He never does btw, he’s always there’s to listen and support me and I try to do the same but sometimes I just can’t say no to social invitations/fun and it causes problems)
You should tell him that he doesn't get to choose what's a necessity for you to be happy with your sexual life however since it's his prerogative whether he provides what you require or not, you also have the prerogative to move on and seek a more compatible partner.
This is a worrying position to have and I wonder what else has he already decided is not a necessity for you or his future partners.
To clarify, sex include many things and should ALWAYS come with consent and communication. Getting an understanding of each others needs and wants, if he is not willing to have an open conversation about this thibgs or even hearing you out on what you want, I strongly advise you against having sex with him. He is asking his friends that dont need to have sex with him what should happened when he has sex.
You are killing this man and you don't care, how can you have the audacity of saying that you love him?
OP, I don't know where you live, but please google “disabled mutual aid” and your city. There may be a mutual aid program in your area where you can request a volunteer to help you–someone who can meet your Dad at your doorway, be let in by him, and take you to your appointments for you, or at least get your groceries for you. Do your local grocery stores not deliver? Most of them started doing this during the worst of the pandemic.
You’re divorced now. It’s over. Whatever he did being angry about it is not going to change it. Use your energy to move forward and make the best of the future. Resentment will only hold you back.
Open relationship and polyamorous are always a mess. Anyways looks like they want to be couple and slowly her bf and you would be longer in the picture.
This is not ok. There needs to be boundaries put in place.
The age difference is not much, believing that is an exaggeration.
The fact you say you're scared of him, is enough reason to leave.
Keep yourself safe OP.
Kill him with a bomb. ?
Take responsibility for your actions you may not of bought them but no one force you to drink or shove your tongue into your friends mouth. Women today don't take responsibility for there own actions
I would have never handled this any different than he did.
You got what you deserve.
It's really hard to know because everyone is individual and it sounds like they had a rough start, so I appreciate it's easier said than done.
Usually it's best to tackle these conversations in a calm period, rather than when it's actually happening. I've heard that phrasing things from a “how you feel” perspective is better than accusatory language. So tell them how you feel when they react like that and your concerns about the future stability/ health of your relationship. You need to feel safe coming to them with this sort of thing. Maybe you could even suggest a code word/ joke for lightening the mood if it happens again, so they can recognise what's happening to help break the pattern?
There's a lot to unpack with why they react so dramatically and it's something therapy would ideally address. I doubt you'll get changes overnight, but safe communication should be your priority with each other.
Maybe they can at least read some self-help books and you can listen to couple's therapy podcasts together as a start?
He had a whole.year to save up a couple of euros/dollars/pounds/dirhams/.. a month, so I hate it when partners make excuses for their neglect.
Hell, he could've even made his own birthday card and a song.
Leave before it's you.
You don’t “feel” lied to, you were lied to. Cut him out of your life and move on. If you let him stay in your life, all you will get are more lies, hurt and games.
Kill him
thank you! right? that is what’s stopping me. I mean, rationally, there is always a way to make things better. and I’m writing here exactly because I’m afraid that this narrative cannot be trusted. I mean, to what extent can you even trust yourself?
Man, sounds like you're in a tough spot. I feel you on this one. Let me break it down for you.
First off, it's understandable that you're feeling a little insecure here. No one likes the idea of their S/O talking to other dudes, especially in a NSFW context. But, it sounds like she's at least trying to make amends by communicating with these guys “sfw” now and being more open to you looking at her messages.
That being said, the fact that she's hiding her phone and notifications from you is definitely suspicious. And it's not just that, it's the fact that she's actively looking for friends on Reddit. That's a red flag, bro. It's like she's trying to create a little secret life for herself.
You need to have a conversation with her about this. It's important to be upfront and honest about how you're feeling. Tell her that you love her and that you want to make this work, but that her behavior is making you feel uneasy. Ask her to be open and transparent with you about who she's talking to and what they're talking about. And most importantly, make sure she understands that you're not trying to control her or limit her freedom, you just need to know that you can trust her.
If she's not willing to do that, then it's time for you to reevaluate your relationship. You don't deserve to be treated like this and you shouldn't settle for anything less than complete honesty and trust. Hope this helps, bro.
There is no justification for treating your own Daughter like her Mother has. She didn’t break up the original family, the Ex did (most likely already cheating with the new wife). Dealing with someone who has depression isn’t the easiest but families should work together to help each other. This family is awful.
Every man I’ve been with has said this… and I was right they were cheating.
Maybe you can’t make her cum, and she decided to do it herself. Maybe she gets horny at the idea of “humiliating” a man.
There’s honestly a lot of reasons, you’re both almost 30. Ask her.
I have no words, I’m so so sorry this is happening to you, and at the hands of the person you’re supposed to trust the most in the world. That level of betrayal in unimaginable and I’m so sorry.
I hope you’re safe xx
🙂 will do!
If you'd like to tear off the scabs you've been developing over the past 12 months and start the healing process all over again seeing her would be the perfect way to do it. Ask yourself why you'd want to invite such misery on yourself (on your birthday no less). There's absolutely nothing she can say or do that'll make you feel better. There are many things she could say or do to make you feel worse. It's time to make some new associations. Good luck
Man, this is something I never considered and wow does that interpretation mean a lot to me. Thanks for sharing that… And damn, mindblown.gif
Glad someone was able to say the same thing as me… Got downvoted to oblivion for calling it out for what it is
I really need an update once you find out what the shots mean. This is so beyond creepy and way above reddits help. Good luck op I hope you find out what’s really going on and get peace of mind soon.
And that story was also a lawyer being inappropriate with his (current) assistant who he also took with him across firms.
I have a lot of feels and thoughts but I can’t push myself to action even though I want to & I know that he well love it. It could be overthinking or shyness..
Feeling this way doesn’t mean that you’re not a person meant for relationships. It just means that this isn’t the right relationship for you. You’ll probably have a bunch of those before you find the one that is for you, and that’s a good thing, because you learn something every time. Like in this relationship you’ve learned that you need someone who’s a little more independent like you are and who you share more interests with. Relationships are more complicated than just someone treating you right. EVERYONE you even consider a relationship with should treat you right. You also need similar lifestyles, a few shared hobbies and interests (and a few you don’t share bc everyone needs Me Time), similar values and goals, compatible senses of humor and communication. Someone can be perfectly kind and attractive and loyal and all the good things a partner should be and still just not be “the one” for you.
And I understand how you feel about breaking up. There were times I wanted to break up with my high school boyfriend but didn’t because it felt mean or I felt like it was a failure on my part somehow. It’s scary. Especially when you still care about the person and they haven’t done anything wrong. But it’s totally possible to break up with someone kindly. That doesn’t guarantee they’ll take it well, but at least you can feel good about the way that you handled it and know that you didn’t make it any more hurtful than it had to be.
First off, please seperate your post and make individual paragraphs, lol.
Second, have some respect for yourself. If I were you, I'd do it with her one last time and leave. Seriously though, have some respect for yourself as a man. You're really just going to try to be with this person who called you insecure for not allowing her to take it from another guy in front of you? Sorry if this sounds harsh OP, this isn't my intention. But this is ridiculous.
It’s not the hill to die on. He doesn’t force me to do anything and he’s entitled to his stupid beliefs even if I disagree. Plus it is not like the subject comes up often. We got kids, jobs and a life to deal with so it is not an issue that is pressing to our lives.
Tell him to get out and go back to his country. Your child is 3….look into daycare or nanny. Don't quit your job. Just find a solution to a toxic problem.
He copes badly with almost anyone, my dad being the notable exception.
You got yourself into a classic case of “FWB with feelings” situation. You're giving this dude all the perks of a relationship without actually being in one. And now you're feeling hurt and confused cuz he's not reciprocating the same level of feelings.
Here's the deal, if he wanted a relationship with you, he would have made it happen by now. Dude's had plenty of time to think about it and clearly he's content with just being FWB. It's time for you to cut the emotional attachment and start taking care of yourself. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you in a relationship. Don't settle for less just because you don't want to be alone.
And next time, make sure you have a clear understanding of what you both want before getting into something intimate like this. Communication is key, especially in these kinds of situations. Trust me, it'll save you a lot of heartache in the long run.
I agree with this. My friend learnt fluent Hindi and a local language in India just to communicate with his in-laws.
Thank you, but my appointment is in a little while and I feel like I needed to get this off my chest.
So, let's start with the jerking off. He's allowed to masturbate. That's a private activity, and it's not an activity you're allowed to have any say in, and you should not expect to have any knowledge of how/when/where/how often he jerks off. Don't check the lube level, don't search through the trash can for crusty tissues, and don't ask him about it. Period. If he lied about it, it's because it's none of your business, and guys generally do not discuss their masturbation habits with their girlfriends. They just don't. And they often know how unreasonably insecure girlfriends can get about this topic–this subreddit is filled with examples.
Still talking to girls he had crushes on is potentially problematic, depending on the nature of those communications. People are sometimes friends with people that they are or were attracted to or people they previously hooked up with. That happens, and it's perfectly reasonable, as long as he's not CONTINUING to hook up with them and he's not pursuing them romantically or sexually in some way, or having an emotional affair of some sort. You don't indicate that any of that is happening, though, simply that he still talks to them. You say that he hid this fact from you–do you mean he lied about it? Or do you mean he simply never told you about it? Those are different things. And although I'm not a fan of lying in a relationship, he may have kept this info from you because he knew he wasn't doing anything wrong by staying friends with them but he also knew it would make you insecure so he didn't tell you about it.
Lying about how many people he'd been with. Hmm. Tough one. How many people did he originally tell you he'd been with, and how many people is it actually? And really, does it matter, as long as he's being an attentive, caring, faithful boyfriend now? His sexual past is just that, the past. YOU are his present. He wakes up every day and chooses to stay in a monogamous relationship with YOU, not with the women he's hooked up with in the past.
You still have no idea what abuse is which makes you very blessed.
There are different levels of abuse, just because she's not beating him with a frying pan or strangling him doesn't make what she's doing not abusive. Btw, those examples are from my childhood experience with an abusive step-father, so no, I'm not “blessed.” However that experience growing up did teach me to NEVER live my life any way other than how I want to live it.
And there is really what you are about. Life is more than just about you and it’s upsetting you to hear it.
From all the sad things you've said, why tf, would I want to change my life to be more like yours? Every response from you has conveyed your deep depression more than the last. There is nothing on this Earth that would make me want to be more like you. How sad to think that focusing on yourself in YOUR life is somehow wrong? I don't know how you can bring kids into this world if you think being an adult means you can no longer do things you enjoy, how absolutely demoralizing for your kids.
You should try thinking about yourself more often, you might find that life is about happiness not whatever it is you seem to think. Bye sad mom.
Any fair-sized friendship group will have multiple pairs of people who've slept together in the past. There have been several women in my life where I was friends someone who was with her before me, or after me. He's young, but eventually he needs to learn that this going to happen from time to time in his life if he wants to have friends.
I have a question, was there a breaking point when the sex went from regular to almost none? For example after you moved in together? Or did she have a major change suddenly where affection just dropped? If you can pinpoint when it happened it might be easier to get to the bottom of it.
Are you the main provider? You said you have everything, was it you, her or both that provided the means? If the answer is you, she might be a gold digger.
Did she suddenly go cold and started hiding things from you, especially her phone or start going out more with friends etc? The red flags of cheating.
If she suddenly changed after moving in it might be she thought she was safe and comfortable enough in the relationship to not have to have sex and she's not really into having sex and just wanted to get you on the hook.
Is your distrust of her only based on how she looks at you when you initiate sex or are there other things?
But what if its the damaged one? Its not his fault then, right? I’m not saying thats the case, but there are some positive things about him that I didnt mention, I just said these because they’re the biggest issues at this point
I have a question, was there a breaking point when the sex went from regular to almost none? For example after you moved in together? Or did she have a major change suddenly where affection just dropped? If you can pinpoint when it happened it might be easier to get to the bottom of it.
Are you the main provider? You said you have everything, was it you, her or both that provided the means? If the answer is you, she might be a gold digger.
Did she suddenly go cold and started hiding things from you, especially her phone or start going out more with friends etc? The red flags of cheating.
If she suddenly changed after moving in it might be she thought she was safe and comfortable enough in the relationship to not have to have sex and she's not really into having sex and just wanted to get you on the hook.
Is your distrust of her only based on how she looks at you when you initiate sex or are there other things?
She’s someone who can’t control her alcohol intake. She’s about to cheat on you if you haven’t stopped her. She’s not worth it. If she wants to change, let her do it for herself.
Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, it makes it very easy for you to do & say things that normally would be stopped by your logical thought processes.
She left the relationship that night. She chose to go home with a stranger & on her way out she slapped your face gave you some choice words for good measure.
I have no idea how you're supposed to view her the same way ever again.
I know I couldn't.
i understand if people consider it rape or want to call it that; personally it's hard for me to use such a strong word because my parents escaped a war-torn country where thousands of women were brutally raped by war criminals and i don't feel that my situation compares at all
You appear to be quite striking (at least the red hair and blue eyes), I dont doubt he needs to catch up. Sometimes people just dont know what to say. And dont want to say anything lest they ruin things.
I gave my guy a hug so I’m sure that may have made his day hahaha
The answer is therapy. You have body image issues or self value issues.
As a solid 3, I can tell you that people very often choose personality over looks because as they say traditional beauty fades but kindness stays. How many of the high 8/9/10 girls you know are vain/selfish and/or terrified that their only worth is their beauty. My experience way too many.
Make sure you thank the person who sent you the evidence
Have you told him in these words that you feel betrayed? If not, you should.
Did she think her friends wouldn’t notice? Wouldn’t care? Did she think they had her back? Honestly thank goodness for the friend that sent you the proof.
This advice is for others (who are single) in these situations, I hope this advice doesn’t make its way to this cheating asshole:
Never pay, contact the police (and then tell the scammers you’re going to contact the police). This happened to my brother he was single) and he said “go right ahead”. Literally nothing was sent and they left him alone.
Why do people think blackmail will stop if you pay? The money they’re asking for is just the beginning…
Source: Tried to blackmail my brother… (this bit is obviously a joke btw 😛 lol)
He is trying to push your boundary and blackmail you into giving him a blowjob! This is not a mature and respectful way to handle a difference. There is no way to get past the I don’t want children but he does. Are you going to be blackmailed into being a mother too! That won’t be good for the child that you will resent because you where not authentically to who you are!
I am a guy, I know what guys think.
And for an example, when I start dating my GF, she told me about her supposed guy best friend you know “He's just a friend” and all that stuff. I didn't really care because I ain't the jealous type.
Turn out 2 mouths into our relationship, he tried to get in her pants.
So yeah, I totally understand why most men would walk away when their date tell them about the “Guy best friend”.
Definitely, but the main thing is she didn't know, and most women wouldn't be ok using shared finances for their husband to talk to other women.
Sounds like you 2 aren’t sexually compatible. I would have never made it to the exclusive stage with a woman who doesn’t give head.
U need to split. And honestly, I pretty much promise u that this won’t be the last time u have this issue. I don’t like eating women out. I still try to avoid it when I can but definitely learned as I got older that if I won’t do something she wants in the bedroom it’s going to effect the relationship or worst she will find someone that will do what she wants. U might get lucky and find a guy who doesn’t want oral sex at all. I’ve only ever known one guy who was like that but he was also SUPER vanilla in the bedroom.
U let your boundaries be known in the beginning and he crossed them. Time to leave. Clearly this is something he can’t let go. U know what u need to do
Tell.him that you will beed to have access to all hia phones and computers..trust is broken and you have to treat him like a child for the forseeaable future. Keep him on his toes. Puf in camera in his car as well.
Tbh when I read it, option 1 was my first thought. As a parent myself, I love my kids, but they are so much work. tbh in a modern society it is very hard juggling adulthood, a full time career, and raising children especially if you're in a situation where you don't have a good support network of friends and/or family. If my kids grew up and were in a similar situation to what my spouse and myself are in (no friends to rely on, no family to rely on consistently) talking about starting a family, i might offer the same advice. at the very least i would tell them wait until i can move close to them in order to help out with raising any kids to ease the stress. I wanna give the mother benefit of the doubt, but at the same time it's hard to tell the true intentions since we didn't hear the tone of voice/know the dynamic of the relationship.
If you share a space, it's weird to lock doors. I'm assuming you share the bedroom. You've told her you find it odd, she says she will stop. If it keeps up, just make a key and next time she's locked herself in, just give a quick knock and let yourself in. You shouldn't need permission to enter your own bedroom.
You don't. She doesn't want one. You need to respect her boundaries, and stop pestering her.
She has blocked him in all ways (socials, phone number, etc) and promises not to re-engage contact. Pretty flimsy atm but idk what else to ask her to do tbh.
? This is stupid. You don't have to constantly reaffirm your *love* in front of others. Nobody wants to constantly hear that.
Sex.
Not the person you’re replying to but I don’t think this is the best idea in the world. There’s always going to be excuses for why she can be more irritable than usual. Right now she’s pregnant. Then it’ll be she’s postpartum. Then it’ll be she’s not getting enough sleep because of the two children. Mind you these are all completely valid reasons to be stressed, IMO. But not to stop your mother from seeing her grandchildren for no reason.
She thinks your mom is basically talking crap, you say she’s not. Regardless, it’s not great for them to not even be on speaking terms while your mother spends time with your children, and that should be mediated ASAP. They should at least be on cordial speaking terms, and you should explain to both your wife and mother that for your sake at least, they should make the effort to do that.
No. It IS manipulative to wait until you’re married to tell your partner who you’ve discussed and indicated you want kids with that you either no longer do or never did.
She may not have liked hearing it, but he called a spade a spade. She’s 29, she doesn’t really get to say she’s young and scared and doesn’t know what she wants. That’s incredibly messed up she didn’t talk to him about it as soon as she realized and waited for him to bring it up instead.
HA! So funny, I enabled and predator
legally in many places the engagement ring is considered the purchaser's property.
In other places it's considered to be consideration for marriage, and so it belongs to whoever is responsible for breaking the engagement.
I don't think you have to give it back. Though I can't imagine why you would want to keep an engagement ring from a guy who cheated on you.
She's like a sister. She's the only family I have left.
Then no, don't pay for the ring (NO one needs a 6-figure engagement ring). Throw her a banging bachelorette party, if you want to blow money on their wedding.
You can’t force another human adult to have contact with you if they don’t wish it. It’s best to move on from this situation. I realize it’s easy for me to say this from my sofa far away but closure is not always possible.
I think you'll be on here in 10 years asking the exact same thing.
If you don’t press charges, all this could follow into with google searches and background checks into your future. This could make you lose jobs and credibility for positions.
You need atleast a police report.
But she makes it very clear that he is extremely controlling and possessive of her in general. He doesn’t have her back; he’s angry someone messed with his property.
She hid it because she knew her behavior was absolutely in the wrong based on the mutual rules of the marriage.
I believe some types of physical attraction can develop with time and emotional connection. Just depends on your attraction type
People have different view's on this and both are fine. Brought up in different generation's with different norm's. Everybody I knew always had a same sex friend group and going to dinner with another man while in a committed relationship was not something that was done. I get the “we're totally just friend's” thing and that could be true, but I feel it's more likely that the guy has her on the back burner and if her current relationship blow's up, he will start making more plans with her.
she walked out, slept unprotected with another man, and went back to sleep with you,
this girl is beyond you, not suitable for serious relationships and not monogamous
What can I say to someone who doesn't have self-respect, I don't think your daughter will respect you either.
keep living with him, if she dumps you after cheating on you many times, the relationship is over, you have character issues.
Hey dude, love does not conquer all. That is complete bullshit.
Not only did she text the guy. She also made a conscious effort to keep it a secret because she change the name. I guarantee you more shit is going on as she is telling you.
You have already proven that she can walk all over you say she’s sorry and you just take her back.
It takes more than love to make a relationship and the sooner you get that through your thick noggin the better off you’ll be. Good luck, my friend.
Are you op?
Step-mom here also! OP needs some firm boundaries with the ex-.
His GF is feeling disrespected by the invasion of privacy, left out of the family structure, bothered by the not-about-the-children convos. As she should be. All of those things violate boundaries. She’s not handling it great but this could be a new experience for her with lots of emotions.
OP: definitely schedule time with a therapist who specializes in blended families as suggested above. You’re not handling this great either, but no one is born knowing how to handle everything. That’s why a neutral 3rd part could help
Why in the world would she send these texts to your BF. Does she hate you
Did she cut off their contact completely?
She has told you about it, so I would assume this the whole story, in which case you should work on your relationship. I imagine your communication is a first problem, as you should have addressed your issues together. Besides that, you tell you understand that flirting with people other than your partner can be a “thrill”, but this can't ever happen again. Make sure she understands that while you forgive her, you will likely keep thinking about it for a long time.
ETA: I just read about possible blackmail and….. I’m wrong. The thought of her going nuts to pay some blackmail and trying to keep that a secret during you marriage, you should tell her you know. Do it in the kindest, nonjudgmental, loving way you can so she doesn’t feel ashamed or think you are judging.
Your relationship was over a long time ago. Time to split the assets 50/50 while you still have some
PIV and PIM are completely different things and have different comfort levels. You're not a hypocrite don't worry
I dont know.. I said to him from the get go I ain't a psychologist and that's why I suggested counselling. The drinking though proved dangerous so I got quite scared
Fair enough. But bidet? You can get a snap on one for under $100
Thats alright. I learned from it and try to parent my son better and try not be like her.
I grew up in a similar culture. Always support your parents no matter what yada yada yada. I always gave her some slack cause my mother grew up in our home country till she was a adult so while I know she as well is like this cause of how she grew up I don’t excuse it.
Think of yourself first and what kind of relationship you want to have with her. If you don’t wanna do something then just don’t. You’re not selfish for choosing yourself and only doing stuff you wanna do
He love-bombed you by being “perfect”. No-one can sustain that over the long haul. Anyone who's been in an abuse relationship needs to work on themselves before they enter another serious relationship.
He is being controlling. It's none of his business how you spend your money as long as you can pay your share of the bills.
If you're living with him, move out ASAP. Then break up with him (via text, if necessary). Then get yourself into therapy before you get into another serious relationship so you can heal and be healthy before the next one.
This one is kind of rough. If your biggest concern is changes, he would hold similar opinions of paint color or views regardless of the place you bought, honestly.
If you admit that he is good at a lot of upkeep, then the complaints about the garden and upkeep are kind of moot. In terms of price; I find it very hard to believe he wouldn’t get a very good deal on it? Could saved expenses go into monthly housecleaning? He also has a pretty good point about the paint color.
Also, about spending weekend in complete leisure, I find this interesting. I live in a two bedroom apartment with no kids, and still find weekends to be house chores and catch up time. Just kind of a weird complaint to me.
Personally, I would feel pretty gutted to take that dream away from my partner when it’s right in front of them. I don’t think it’s that hard to have a super serious conversation about it expectations if you did move in. A large room for kiddo, you pick the paint color and decor in “x” amount of rooms, garden is his responsibility and chores split evenly ect. The complainants you have seems pretty menial and I personally wouldn’t consider disappointing my partner over pretty small reservations.
is this man fucking swiper from dora? who needs to be told no 3 times? once is more than enough. he’s a fucking asshole
You really fail at math, don't you. Winning a jackpot with lottery has nearly the same changes as a woman telling the truth about being SA-d. If you can't understand why that analogy was mathematically relevant then i guess there's nothing i can really help you with. I tried i guess, no idea how teachers do it.
I think the honest convo has already been had. He knows you don’t like it and he clearly won’t stop looking at it. The ball is in your court right now.
I know! And this guy put up a front of being for women’s rights, he seems so nice and everyone likes him. I’m so surprised this is what he decided to do but like you said, the men that keep the sec trafficking industry going are all around us. Those we’d least suspect
Your current bf committed multiple crimes against you and you're worried that you snooped? Yes both things are wrong but only one of them is a crime.
He wants a live in maid/stepmom for his kids.
As soon as you're locked down (married/pregnant) expect the gifts and dates to stop.
Also, find someone in your age range.
Honestly I think he should leave you. You initiated a conversation, he illustrated it with a theatrical gesture, and you’re treating him like he’s violent towards you… what you’re doing is not ok, this is not violence, and your question invalidates the actual violence women go through. You should seek therapy, because if anyone needs to apologize to the other, it’s you.
It's ok what you want but you can move to it without giving up your place, anyway that's what you're doing now but to do it officially and at the same time you can tell him that if you do that you'll need a key which is normal if you're live there.
He assaulted you. The next woman may look up his arrest record and it would be good if she knows about this.
Think of the world as an enormous small town. Bad people get lost in the crowd, so things we can do to let others know are pro-social.
That’s how I feel I don’t wanna leave him like that. I would want to know.
And just text him like “hey. Your gf cheated.” Obviously not bluntly just fucking around but genuinely I’m at a loss.
Then my next conversation might be. “I’ve asked you before if we have a beef and you apologize and do it again. So you’re just a dick? Please feel free to keep my name out of your mouth, dick” (or what is HR appropriate)
Baby trap
Do I need to state the obvious here? Pretty clear what he intends to do on that trip.
You don't accidentally cheat on your partner unless they have an identical twin and it is dark. You made a choice and now you have to live with the consequences. Unfortunately so do your children.
Maybe she's insecure about initiating or possibly she doesn't want it as often as you do which sounds like it's more likely the case.
For some people sex is just lower priority in the relationship for others its really high. Its very very challenging to overcome incompatibilities in that area. This is a matter of if you're willing to accept the fact that she doesn't want to have sex as often as you do.
You're already expressing that this is a huge issue for you as is. I hate to say this but this is almost never fixable
When a cheater truly wants to reconcile, they need yo cut all contact with the AP. Do you believe that she will be able to do that with this bff? If not, will you be able to accept that the AP will be in your lives indefinitely? And will you be able to trust your wife that nothing will happen ever again?
I’m not throwing money at things I just tried to give a bit of context to the situation. I’ve tried setting timers in the past but unless I remember to set it in the first place it’s not their and I don’t know how to make it a habit. If you have ADHD you will know lists are meaningless.
I want to spend time with my wife, I tried to this morning I’m not sure if I’ve explained it correctly or it’s been misread I actively tried to plan time with my wife but due to our disjointed communication that didn’t pan out.
He could also secretly be into men as well.
True. Thanks!
There’s zero point in getting some list of reasons things didn’t work out with someone you aren’t interested in anymore. Are you wanting to change who you are to accommodate someone like him? Also, he’s not entitled to closure, and the whole conversation sounds weird. Just walk away and focus on something that’s actually productive. This isn’t it.
the thing is, he didn't intend to break up with me. he's the best man I've ever been with that I could never find anything wrong with his mindset, attitude, and personality even if I tried. He's the most emotionally available man I've met. He says he was just too weak for long distance bc he needs my hugs and didn't realize it til 6 months into the relationship. I still hope for the best
You asked her and she told you what she thicken. You don’t have ti agree with it, but I can see her logic. You didn’t earn the money. It’s being handed to you for nothing. She is working for what she will be contributing.
She chose not to live with you intimate she could contribute so she’s not after your money. You’re getting married so it would be her home too right?
I personally would not pay towards a home I wasn’t an equal owner of. She’s right they there’s no point getting married if you’re not going to be sharing things. This isn’t a case where you’ve worked to own the house and you had it before you met her. I’d be wary of a relationship like this too.
What do you mean she’s not offering anything in return? She’s offering to pay 50/50 towards the house for the portion that you worked for. This really doesn’t sound like the relationship for you. I think she’d be foolish to go through with this marriage. It’s also unwise to buy a hime you can’t afford.
There's no explaining it. She not only didn't agree, but also called you selfish. That IS malice.
Find yourself a partner who doesn't call you selfish.
Girl that’s a red flag. A nickname is calling a guy named Robert “Bobert”.
Pookie bear is a pet name that you call a girlfriend.
“Dude why are you calling another chick cute pet names? I’m not ok with this. What is going on between you two?”
Sounds like he’s a hobosexual and you should let him know inheritance is like “free cash” just as much as scholarships are
As someone who stayed for 2 more years after getting cheated on- it doesn’t get any better. Sure you’ll have happy days with them, but it’s always in the back of your head. It was the worst pain leaving them, but time heals everything and I’m in a happy relationship now 🙂