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‧₊˚✧ CHLOE ‧₊˚✧, 25 y.o.
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Date: November 25, 2022
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I dont think shes asking if its okay to go out, i think its a mutual sign of respect in a relationship. Its not controlling unless he is demanding of it.
This also stuck out to me. She shouldn't have to ask you if it's okay to go out with her friends.
She was awake and feels shame. You didn’t rape her.
That some people raise their girls this way, or contribute to the “Sex is mostly for the man and it's the duty for the women to provide it” is, IMO, hugely damaging to women, to men, to relationships. And it runs rampant in some religious circles.
In fact, while it's not in the west, some religious give women vasectomies so that for their entire life they will never get much if any pleasure.
Even women who aren't raised by or around the religious can end up being influenced by it.
Again, this isn't to excuse OPs gf. Like I mentioned, I'm just bringing up something that some women experience. I have no idea what the % is. I might be completely off the mark but hey, thought I'd put it out there.
For the life of me, I don't know how your gf (on an intellectual level) can confuse an active break in, where you don't know the intentions of the assailants, with a classically abusive father or bf who will pound you for talking back or cooking your eggs wrong. These guys could have been intending to rape or murder. In this country (US), we literally had a situation where a guy broke into a house and slaughtered 4 college students in their beds. He probably appeared to be a burglar interested in property (he dressed that way) to anyone who observed his activities inside and outside the house.
But on the other hand, your gf is also feeling instinctive feelings that she can't control. She needs therapy and if you want to salvage the relationship, you should be supportive. But if she is making you out to be the bad guy, I don't think this is a relationship worth saving — you both discovered something about each other.
. He proposed to me a month ago but after talking to his dad, he decided he isn’t ready and we’re no longer engaged.
Why would he propose without ever having lived with you? Dating for a few years at 22 is very different to dating/living together in your mid/late 20s.
. But I’m getting a little upset with the back and forth. I can’t keep having my hopes up and then his opinion changes the next day. I love him but I don’t know what to do.
Sit him down and tell him that his back and forth makes you upset, and unsure about this relationship. Talk about your ideal timeline, and then ask him about his. There's nothing wrong with wanting to wait a bit longer to live together, and get engaged, but he shouldn't be so wishy-washy….
Triggered? Nah, more like perplexed. Dumbfounded even. but triggered. Don't sweat the small stuff (it's all small stuff).
I'm not really following the biology but
I agree, it's probably too much of a bother to explain things
Everyone says they have a “crazy ex.” Lots of times it exaggerated, but when the stalking goes on for multiple years after zero contact from my experience it only gets worse as the persons mental health, if untreated, deteriorates.
I had an ex where this kept going for 10 years and ended with her driving a car through my parents house and her going to prison. —not saying that is every case, but its a good idea to start accumulating a paper trail early and definitely take any threats seriously and make police reports. —i debated going to the police for years (because I don't think they make anything better) but saved all contacts on social media and email and my cousin and mother were able to get protection orders with that evidence.
3+ years is indicative or broader mental health issues you partner is just a vehicle to act out.
I don't want to scare you, but I wish I had acted earlier in my case for everyone's safety, even hers.
You don't sound well enough to be in a relationship.
It seems like some people can be a good friend in easy times but not so much in harder times. It's disappointing but also important to know.
So she possibly actually just has a healthy relationship with her phone, with social media and digital communication/texting. She maintains boundaries for herself, her limits, her energy level and doesn't feel obligated to knee-jerk rapid fire replies to people who won't learn to manage their own anxiety issues and then takes it personally later becoming passive aggressive and making snippy comments.
Yeah, the problem is totally her…
He gave *one* compromise idea, which was hyphenating or the like, and she's within her rights not to want that. I personally hate the idea, and I know I'm in good company with that opinion. He's paying, so that gives him the right to give their children his surname? Yikes. It's not even remotely about his not being good enough. She has plenty of good reasons to want her surname (not the least of which is that they're not married). His ego and some outdated patriarchal standard are his very subpar reasons for wanting his. I think women are right sick of this unreasonable default. I think it's partly why he feels slighted though–he expected the default to happen here. If you take the historical precedent away, OP isn't really left with any good reasons why his surname should have more right than hers to be given to the children.
Link them this post
Otherwise I do get a lot of men interested but I'm not in to them for one reason or another – it mostly boils down to attraction.
Different statistics show that women think 80% of all men are below average looking. Tinder statistics show that women swipe right on less than 5% of men. And they match with ~3.6% of men. What you are looking for is the absolute most attractive men in existence. You are setting yourself up for disappointment down the line because your unrealistic expectations make you feel like you have to settle. Statistically you're setting yourself up for failure. Get some cats and enjoy your singlehood, you're gonna be single for a long time.