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ZoeyBangzs, 31 y.o.
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Date: October 30, 2022
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Sounds like she just gave you all of the ammo you need to ensure you keep all of your assets in the divorce. You should thank her.
I think it's just a friendly invute. nothing malicious about it.
Although I should add – don't pin your sobriety onto your partner. Be sober for yourself.
Stop being a suck up. How is getting therapy and taking medication 'refusing to do anything about'? This is a masterclass on how a manipulator calls the victim a manipulator first to cause confusion.
The kid is his because he raised him.
Do not see the ex. He shattered your heart, he should NEVER get closure in his own pathetic mind.
Besides, look up the AITA on the “coffee date” that led the lady to leaving her 10/10 fiance to back to her 0/10 cheating ex, even after she was told not to (btw, spoiler alert: the cheating ex cheated on her again after she took him back).
DONT BE THAT IDIOT, DONT VISIT THE EX, STAY WITH YOUR HUSBAND
I don't like having those thoughts, and don't know if that's me trying to avoid dealing with the anxiety or if I actually have good reason to think them.
You need a therapist to walk you through why you feel the way you do. The internet cannot tell you why you fear commitment- only you can do that. At 32 if you aren't sure by now, it's likely you need a professional to help you uncover the core issue.
You sound very confused and anxious. Therapy really does help, you can find a lot of resources and even counselors online if you can't find someone immediately in your geographic area.
Start doing it back. If they question it, hit em with “well Im just being a good, concerned daughter! You are getting on in years after all!”
Start cutting their food for them. Bring adult diapers for them. Parent them back even harder. And then point out this is essentially what they're doing to you. You're almost 30 and have been on your own for years; them trying to parent you at this age is every bit as much as ridiculous as you trying to parent them.
And you also called her a nut job. If someone is a nut job it’s not his ex in this story.
He wrapped you around his finger.
You both need to get out of your marriage. Do you really want another 40 years of this? You’re both still young and deserve a chance to find a happier path
So even without the recent back surgery, your wife wants you to – what? “Defend her honor”? Against what? She was the raging lunatic in this situation. So what, you're supposed to get yourself killed because she's ridiculous? So her self-preservation is so non-existent, she wants to extend it to you? What on earth sort of universe is this woman living in, where her “honor” is more important than your health, completely leaving out the fact that – again – SHE WAS IN THE WRONG?!
NTA. Your wife needs to get her head checked.
Like I said, work with her to swish them out with water and load them into the machine as she goes. It won’t take long to do.