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i’ll be your whore today and i will make u cum a lot , ♥ squirt show @ goal / no limits on pvt / check my new videos [527 tokens remaining]
Date: November 6, 2022
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Well it’s hard because my son says it isn’t his which i wanna side with my son because i don’t know this girl
Im not sure, but they basically kicked me out, and I tried to explain and say I would cooperate with what we they wanted.
I’ve gone to like 6 therapists and psychiatrists now, and since I don’t have the video and she changed up her story, they just say I’m schizophrenic. I actually stopped taking the meds a while back realizing these people were just gaslighting the fuck out of me all bc I didn’t have a video.
Now when I do have a video, they all sit silent like ? or in my dads case get mad. My own brother who IS a psychiatrist quickly said “oh.. sorry”
Like.. idk what the fuck else to do. My dad lives with me and we are 50/50 on our condo but he CONTINUES TO DO THIS and I recently realized I just need to video him or else he keeps perpetuating this stuff
Have sex. Yall have lost the connection that physical intimacy provides.
First off, ask him if it would be okay if you have another dude you can fuck(even if you don’t want that). And then either way, dump him. This is a solid dealbreaker, not even negotiable. 5 years is a long time, but he’s showed his true colors. Cut it off so you can start healing and find someone who treasures you and will never even think about betraying you with a dumbass request like that. You only have so much time in your life, don’t give it to someone that doesn’t deserve it.
I forgave my ex for cheating. Guess what he did again? Once is enough
She probably knows logically that he didn't do anything wrong, but I guess you can't always logic yourself out of strong emotions.
Yuuuuup exactly. There are lots of ways to finish together. “No, don't touch, I want it to be penetrative only!” is just not necessary. Whatever works works.
Honey, it's better to be lonely than to be with someone that disrespects you! Was this the very 1st time you all had ever met in person? You didn't know him previously (like grow up with him)? He doesn't have gentleman-like manners at all. He was more interested in his desire than respecting you. Absolutely do not settle!! I have low self-esteem too. But, I also know that's not acceptable behavior. Just be patient & the right one will come along!
I think it could definitely be some sort of trauma, but I’m leaning more towards inexperience.
He’s 22, so he’s probably still working on getting his rhythm down while focusing on staying hard.
Also, it could honestly be that he jerks off too much. Getting used to just sitting there and cumming with minimal physical effort can definitely effect your stroke game, which I think doesn’t get talked about enough.
I actually wish it was that easy but here is the thing, They wanted to be friends! They not in a relationship, I didn’t expect nor know they were showing signs of wanting to be in a romantic relationship. I don’t understand social cues, in which is why I didn’t expect that a person that I met 4 days ago was going to fall in love. But perhaps it is that easy and I am just dumb. Thanks for the help!
YES
You cut off the bed and sex supply. Lay a garbage bag over the couch and tell him he can sit there because he is crudifying and repulsive. Time to get blunt.
Your winky is stinky, your breath be foul, your ass is nasty and your feet conjure images of rotten puke. You need to clean up or move on bc this is unacceptable to me.
All of these that you have mentioned are inappropriate.
This is textbook sexual harassment. Likely your supervisor has undergone HR-mandated training to know this as well.
Observe, report, and defend yourself. This is not typical workplace behaviour. Contact HR if you are comfortable.
And regarding HR: yes, they work for the company. They work to defend the company. Even the police will tell you to consult HR at your workplace first if you report workplace sexual harassment.
Yes
Years ago in a small town south of boardman one of the ladies who volunteered at the local horse rescue was a paraplegic. She was a regular. like me. Originally came for the therapy horses, loved helping, made her feel a lot more helpful and able. We became friends, one day I asked if she had fallen off a horse. Holy cow, did not expect her answer. Yes. She lost her legs. partial movement in one arm. She was on top, he swung so hard she flew her off him, the bed, and into the nightstand.
He didn't get anything because she got him first, he had PTSD. She didn't know. He didn't know. So…. Yeah…. They still talk. He is very sorry. Feels horrible. ECT. ECT.
The reason as a 6'6 man I can't ever strike a woman is her. The reason my ex felt safe enough to hit the next guy is because the mountain of a man I am never hit her back she became comfortable hitting men. Some men are made of morals, some men are made of reaction. Know that. Don't fear men especially for your safety. Fear hitting reactive men especially if you could prevent it.
Everyone saying she sucks is ridiculous. A boundary is a boundary and he broke it.
Doesn't matter if you agree or not
As an American, which I feel is just North East Australia with less deadly nature, I would dump him ASAP. The longer you stay with him, the deeper your feelings will be when he goes to India…to get married… to someone else… while he was basically still dating you. We have a saying here in NY. F*CK THAT NOISE.
Get an STD test. Your partner has no regard for your safety or feelings . He treats women like objects and has lied, cheated, and disrespected you. He doesn't love you.
Many year ago, something similar happened to me. I came home for lunch because I forgot to grab it in the morning and my apartment door was chained shut( no one should have been home). BF was in there with a girl….
Why does he feel like needs to know everything? He doesn’t. You can have your own life outside of the relationship. Sounds controlling.
He's just shown you what to expect from him from now on. He clearly has little remorse Soon you'll have broken bones. How can you love someone that is hurting you? He doesn't love you; you don't purposely hurt the ones you love. Please plan your escape.
I was just trying to point this out in case he used this excuse and she bought it anyway, since that isn’t how the store works and she might know that. It’s fine that you don’t know. Obviously everybody doesn’t know. I was just saying she might know that isn’t a thing there, as a lot of people do. It’s already a discount store. Specifically xmas stuff does go on sale after xmas, like half off, but that’s not how it works for regular product. Everything in the store gets marked down each day until the new year, which makes all the product at its lowest prices. That’s what “yellow tag” season is. So I suppose he could have tried to convince her to wait to see if it got marked down more. That would have been the better excuse, but she probably would have bought it anyways because once stuff gets that cheap it goes fast.
This is not normal at ALL. I don’t think it’s appropriate to complain about your SO to others especially not your mom. Maybe a few very close friends who can give unbiased advice but even then must be done sparingly. I believe any conflict within the relationship should be resolved by the two people within the relationship.
What your boyfriend is doing is a huge red flag and does not bode well for the future of your relationship. Mommy will forever be a third wheel in this relationship and only get more involved as things become more serious between you two. Unfortunately if he doesn’t see what he’s doing as an issue, then he likely will not change his behavior and will probably call you controlling for not wanting him to talk about things with his mom.
Look, you're interpreting these things as if we're only talking about pedo or grooming. There may very well be no grooming going on here. But that is NOT the only problem that arises from large age gap relationships!!!
Look, you have a child together and your relationship may be salvageable. But NOT if you are unwilling to accept and address the likely root of many of your issues- your large age gap. Does this mean you screwed up by getting pregnant by and marrying someone 12 years older at age 23? Yes, sorry. Can't take it back, so let's understand the problem and then what to do about it.
The main reasons that age gap relationships have so many problems are:
The younger (usually woman) is inexperienced and easy to manipulate, even in subtle / small ways. They have no idea what is normal and will tolerate things that a partner the same age as their SO would never put up with. The older partner is often immature and makes poor decisions, which causes them trouble when they try to date closer to their own age. The two partners are often at very different stages in life, with different desires, expectations, goals, and problems they face. There is a power imbalance inherent in any relationship, even healthy ones. But in an age gap relationship the power imbalance is much much larger and nearly always favors the older partner. Combine that with immaturity, inexperience, and a bit of manipulation, and voila. Bad relationship.
The only way to make these things work is for the younger partner to establish and rigidly uphold boundaries to keep problems in check. This is both not optional, and unfortunately establishing them may well end the relationship (and if it does, that's what must happen). Things will get worse before they get better, again, sorry.
In your specific case:
Showing you love and affection are not optional. This may take some time. Supporting your career and professional development are also not optional. Even though this may not be the most financially practical choice as a couple, it's still important to you and therefore not optional. His assistance with the baby is not optional, though with his work hours it may be limited. You need to be aware that the chances of him cheating on you are abnormally high. He might already be cheating, there's some warning signs. From your side, you will need to put in more effort into your appearance and body. I'm sorry, it really sucks, and until you're done breastfeeding it will be almost impossible to lose weight (so maybe consider formula if you aren't already). But in this situation, he was drawn to you because of your body and you are so much younger, sorry. If you can't meet what he wants, the above requirements are not going to be met without the relationship breaking. I wish I could say otherwise but again if you want things better despite the large age gap, you need to be very realistic about the problems, and his immaturity is one.
Doing the above may be difficult; a couples therapist may help you convey and establish those boundaries without breaking the relationship.
In conclusion, is the relationship over? No, this doesn't sound hopeless. But it is going to be hard, and it will get worse before it gets better. Refusing to accept the large role that your age gap plays in the problems is doing you no favors.
I will discuss with him openly, thanks for the advices as well.
I almost wish reddit had questions about relationships you could click on for answers as this question comes up at least once a day. Answers are always the same.
Snap maps can be super weird. It has said I’m in places I’ve never even been. I honestly wouldn’t have worried about it if I were you, but her reaction changes things. Why would she cry if she wasn’t guilty? Assuming you didn’t scream and pressure her about it
She was fucking around with someone she regrets fucking around with. If you bring it up again she probably accuses you of it to try and distract you or flip the tables.
I’m not sure, as I don’t have her number
Dump this chick. She needs constant male attention? You are in college. Go have a good time and leave her behind.
That’s your life homie not hers, obviously you’re incompatible if that’s the case and you’re gonna be an asshole. You don’t care about health you just want her back to her original size which is crap. People grow and gain weight and bringing it up all the time isn’t gonna help her to lose it. Just break up with her so she can find someone who appreciates her
Because you’re an easily manipulated naïve child. It’s very easy to take it vantage of you because you don’t have that much life experience
Nothing happened the first time? BS. Those places exist solely for sex work.
If you really like her and think it's going somewhere, go for something small but meaningful, like a book or some music that feels relevant. Otherwise perhaps something less personal, like dinner and flowers.
Even if she likes attention, who cares. I wear cologne and i like when people notice. Or a nice outfit. Or a new haircut
I do feel shitty for not playing with her on her birthday. I will talk to her about setting a schedule, thank you!
I do feel shitty for not playing with her on her birthday. I will talk to her about setting a schedule, thank you!
My friend , who passed away recently, converted to a religion to marry his wife in the 40s. He never believed and said he only did it to make sure he could marry her. He passed four years ago mid 90s. His wife was six years younger than him and I admit she was beautiful in her younger years. He always told me that her parents would pester him to attend their church and he made many excuses down the years to avoid it … as he was a successful lawyer he always was good with words and humour and this helped him no end.
Lovely lovely man and I miss sitting next to him at our sports stadium.
Names and details out of it as his family may see this.
If I were you, that door would be closed. There is no coming back from moving away with your AP. That relationship is over.
What’s to keep her for doing the same thing again? Has she changed? Does she feel remorse for anything she’s done to you or the kids, or does she only feel sorry for herself now that the grass is no longer greener with her boy toy?
I would keep open to a healthy coparenting relationship, but it seems like even your kids aren’t interested in that.
She’s lying tell her not to call you anymore
A few others have hinted at this, but I’d tell him that if he insists on going then you want your own 5 day trip with your friends, while he stays home and looks after the kids. If you don’t have anybody to go with, then go by yourself. I’m sure a holiday where you can relax without responsibilities for the children for 5 days is long overdue. And tell him that you expect the funds for the trip to come out of the same place that the funds for this bachelor party are coming from.
If he doesn’t agree to that then tell him he needs to hand over the party organising duties to someone else, and regardless of the arrangements he can only go for a max of two days. And if he won’t agree to that, tell him the alternative is that he packs his bags now and he doesn’t come back.
it works better to stop the addictive substance and find alternatives rather than continue using
Yep and being empathetic to that it takes time to switch from one to other is where it’s useful to focus on reduction, instead of elimination. People will slip up, so someone prone to lying needs to focus on reduction to feel empowered, as focusing on elimination and then failing will trigger shame which will trigger lying.
I just did and it felt good to get all that off my chest!
MY SANDWICH! OP, are you dating Ross?
What a jerk! I’m sorry he couldn’t just be upfront with you, but at least now you know he’s not worth wasting any energy on. There are much nicer, more honest guys out there.
Don’t listen to all these “leave him!” People…
Talk to your bf and tell him what you went through. Communication is key. Say that you like the playful intimacy and name the things things that you like and tell him that your not sure if it’s the argument that made it feel off, or if he was actually still upset, or what happened. Then let him talk. The less you say when he talks, the more he will say. Just tell him that you don’t want to feel that again, it changes your perspective of him being the fun loving bf and the intimacy you have…
If she is not used to boundaries, she will be upset at first. You can say them as lovingly as you can, but if she intakes it as a slight, that is HER problem, not yours. You cannot control how she perceives a boundary, you can only state your needs.
The point is, you shouldn’t move a man in with your kids this soon. I don’t care if you’ve talked to him online for 10 years. It’s not appropriate to move him in right away. He needs his own place and you need yours. The kids should get used to having him around. Go talk to a pediatric therapist and read books about moving on with kids after a divorce.
And do you think your ex is going to let some stranger move in with his kids? You'll go to court again and he could file emergency custody. He can ask the judge if there can be a stipulation that the kids can’t meet any new partner for a certain amount of time.
You know this man, but your kids don’t. He’s a stranger to them. Unless he’s physically involved, they don’t know him. Does that sound like a healthy childhood? Do you want your kids to meet someone online, and then immediately move in with them when they grow up, because that’s what mommy did?
You have every right to be in a relationship, but your kids have a right to get to know a man who’s going to live with them.
This isn’t about you or your divorce. It’s about your children.
Ya, it’s over.
Let her go on her trip. Text her when she’s on her way, telling her to have fun with whoever she wants, because you’re done.
Then block her on everything so you avoid drama.
And schedule an STD because it may not have been her first time she’s wanted to cheat and given herself permission to do so.
He dumped you and ghosted.
He dumped you and ghosted.
Don’t worry about it, lots of families are well adjusted like hers. They don’t worry about ridiculous things. It will be nice when you get used to it.
Take your own advice and move on.
Hit the gym and focus on yourself, a strong body is a strong mind.
Take your own advice and move on.
Hit the gym and focus on yourself, a strong body is a strong mind.
Take your own advice and move on.
Hit the gym and focus on yourself, a strong body is a strong mind.
So, he got you pregnant, but he won't even let you see his bedroom? He did drugs with his ex. What makes you think he's not still using in the bedroom that he will not let you enter, because there's potentially paraphernalia or something else in there that he does not want you to see?
What do you tell yourself to convince yourself to stay in a relationship with him? Because from what you have written and the way you describe him and your relationship, he doesn't seem to value you, care for you, or respect you. That is why I ask, “Why are you still with him?”
It’s his BS to hyperbole that he’s not in a relationship when he really is. His girlfriend is out of town so he wants to hook up.
Sounds good. Thanks for being so “nice” about it
TL;DR – me and my boyfriend finally got a place after being homeless for a few years. His new job came with an apartment and his boss also lives here. He seems fond of her and is very protective of his phone lately. Also emotionally distant. Wondering if I'm being overly suspicious and jealous or if there seems to be something more going on.
That's how it works, they guy is always wrong.
Holy fuck, if you reversed the genders here you'd have reddit going off at the BF about how dare he control such things instead over have a bunch of people talking about OP like a rapist.
Why do they have to sneak!?
I hope I don't know the answer.
I just pushed into the room because I was upset by the fact that they would just outright exclude me like that
Uhhhh…this attitude is probably WHY they lied to you. I'm sorry, but they are under absolutely NO OBLIGATION to include you in anything. But you obviously have an issue when they don't include you. So, they lie to avoid having to deal with your issues. Not super nice, but not an uncommon way to avoid confrontation.
Nix, Nein, Nyet, uh uh, no way…..
GOD THIS IS MORE COMPLEX THAN COMMENTERS UNDERSTAND.
yes we are in relationships with unspoken intimacy agreements that don’t need expressly verbal consent at any given moment.
yes we can explain to our partners when we want to establish boundaries because something felt violating, and that doesn’t make them evil for overstepping
yes you can have a prior agreement that sexual touch is okay in moments of sleep. yes you can then wake up to this and revoke consent.
yes, (often) women/femmes/submissives/etc take on the emotional labor of having to consent educate our partners in order to feel safe and respected. that’s stupid. this is something we need a much better cultural awareness of.
OP, it all boils down to how he reacts and responds to an honest conversation you have about it. that’s what determines if he’s an okay partner.
While I do think your parents are being quite shitty and passive-aggressive, ultimately you need to focus on doing well not for your parents approval, but for yourself. This is your life to live, you need to think about and focus on your own future. What should matter more is not recieving your parents approval, but feeling your own approval. If you know that you're doing your best (and are doing a good job), then that's the most important thing!
You don't even have to make an excuse. You can just walk away.
The least hurtful thing possible. Maybe that I think we aren't compatible anymore? I don't know, to be honest.
He doesn't want to marry you, but is trying not to lose you.
I couldn’t give you an exact number been getting that advice since I was 15(20 now).
Is he also paranoid that he’s going to cheat on you, since that’s something he has actually done in the past. Is he offering up the same control over him as he demands over you, since he’s obviously capable of cheating?
That’s fair and reasonable – I think my gf has the problem where she starts off just by expressing her emotions but then it transforms into her almost guilt tripping without her knowing it
Good call. Some things just aren’t worth it. It’s been a few months. Dating is for this purpose. Like would you really wanna live your whole life thinking this way about how she views appearances? Ya kno? I want a partner that I’m like super proud to be with… not thinking something they feel strongly about is just not for me
What's the reason for holding back the name of the series?
What on gods green earth are you trying to say
Extending empathy and validating feelings even if they are 'illogical' or 'invalid' in order to tackle the root of a matter at hand as a couple is such a simple yet powerful tool in a relationship, yet I cannot for the life of me figure out when this place decides it's right and when instead it is better to self-fellate and show why they are superior to the insecure person.
From my male perspective. Porn is a tool. Unless you want sex every night, and that gets routine, porn is used by the partner that is more horny just to scratch the itch. If it’s not there, I will end up asking my partner even when I know she’s not in the mood and that causes the toon and rejection from both sides.
Not your responsibility. You should never feel obligated to stay with someone out of fear of them hurting themselves. If her entire existence is dependent on you being available to her, that is a whole separate (and major) issue. I’m not surprised you feel drained.
Nah, you’re good. Block him and let little ugly have him. Grass is greener where you water it, Jake.
This is a good option.
It’s okay sweetie, don’t be so triggered, I’m sure it will all work out in the end for you!
So you're thinking your boyfriend has had unprotected sex with countless women over the past several years, to the point that every baby, toddler, and small child you see might be his?
Just so I'm clear.
It's literally a verbatim quote from the post. Did you fall and hit your head?
Yes, I can't imagine writing “I love him with all my heart” and then following up with a paragraph about how aggressively he is telling her that she's not trying hard enough to fit his dick in her ass.
OP Honey, this isn't love. This is a man who is punishing you for your discomfort. He's punishing you for not being able to do something that not everyone can do.
What happens if you never succeed? Does that mean he gets to treat you this way for the rest of your life?
I also have IBS, my husband listens when I tell him things hurt and he stops immediately. He does not push me to continue. He does not blame me for feeling pain. He treats me with love and care, no matter how blue his balls might get.
You deserve a partner who treats you with love and compassion at all times, you are worthy.
She spends reasonably. She isn’t buying Gucci bags or fancy stuff. I don’t have a perfect gauge on her finances but from what I can observe she’s responsible- yes. I don’t know if she could afford to move out on her own
He’s not allowing you to question it and you are allowing him to control your emotions and natural reactions.
He crossed the line.
He cheated.
He’s totally gaslighting you.
End of story.
I would have ended it the second I found out he was WITH ANOTHER WOMAN ON VACATION. A woman he didn’t tell me about—which means he was trying to hide it—with the pathetic excuse, well, you didn’t ask me. Seriously?
But you’re standing there and taking it.
How long will you do that?
She called you Dad and rushed away. She did so because she wants to call you Dad and was afraid you'd reject that. She loves you and wants 2 dads. As long as you're cool with it, you can sit down with her and have that Dad talk. “I love you and would be honored if you want to call me Dad. I didn't ever want to replace your father. I can't. But I will always be a Dad to you.” You ARE the dad when her bio dad isn't there. You ARE being a Dad. Allow yourself the title.
She is “blatantly” having a relationship with her father. Yes OP said the dad is racist. It is important to keep them low contact and protect kids. But no I would never promise not to ever speak to my dad and OP doesn't get to make that decision for her. It sounds like they tried to but then had a baby with her anyway. This is a problem.
Yes as the relationship they have right now isn't in a good place. No relationship is salvageable by a drastic change of your future when there is no real future of the relationship.
Not only are they scum, but the chances of them attacking OP next are way higher. Something like 100% of guys in prison for any sort of violence started on animals, then progressed to women close to them.
It's like a gateway drug.
Read this back to yourself. You're staring at his front door if he took the food. You had his dad let you into the house at 4:50am. You're checking his phone availability and if he's connected to WiFi.
This man deserves space, not a stalker. Leave him alone.
You are allowed to do whatever you want with your money and your belongings.
Had this been a one hookup thing, knowing your history, I could see you giving her another chance, but this went soooo far beyond just one time.
She KNEW it was wrong when she texted/snapped him, which you made it clear you weren’t comfortable with it, and that it was suspicious, but she insisted it was innocent—all the while—she was sleeping with HIM.
You say you love each other but she obviously didn’t love you enough not to sleep with someone else. Just think about that.
If you forgive her of this, and you get back with her, you are pretty much saying, it’s okay to cheat on me because you are letting her get away, and she can do it again, as long as she hides it better.
She—knowingly and willingly—threw away your entire relationship on some AH. She had her chance with you but she carelessly threw it away.
I’m sorry. I know this hurts so badly. Work on yourself and move on.
Know. Your. Worth.
(I would show her this post and our comments)
Personally disorder doesnt mean you can abuse peoples. Good luck in your new life.
Leave her alone and move on
Stick to your convictions! You sound incredibly well adjusted and self assured. He is allowed to have an opinion, he is not allowed to control your behavior. And honestly he sounds a little ignorant about Mexico and how dangerous it is, does he know the statistics on how dangerous the US is because you’re not safe here either.
OP, I do apologize for saying this but you do come across as a naive person. I suppose, it’s probably because you are in a shock for what you’ve found, causing you now to try to make sense of things and question even the basic things.
My (37m) wife (39f) cheated 3 years ago but never told me
It’s really very, I mean very rare when a person cheats and then tells their partner soon after. It does happen but very rarely. So, I was not surprised that your wife never told you about her cheating. Given an option, I think she would have preferred to take this to her grave.
To her credit she did not deny it but she is adamant that they did not have sex.
OP, adults do not just cuddle. If the guy was feeling her breasts while being out in the public around a lot of people, then what do you think they are going to do when they both go to his hotel room, where they would be alone. Your wife knows that you have no proof of what happened behind the doors and that’s why she’s sticking to her story that they didn’t have sex. You need to realize that your wife has shown her excellent capability of lying to your face, because she lied by omission for the last three years. How can you really trust her words at this point?
I’m wondering what was your wife’s best friends motivation for bringing this to you now, after three years. The friend could have told you about this right away or anytime during these three years. I find the timing to be suspicious.
Confront her
Set boundaries if that doesn’t work
Break up
I don’t think it’s always a man, women have the same ability to sexually harass. I’m not saying that either is good, I just felt like that it was unfair
Thank you. It's very encouraging to read all that. Like I said In another post, I think I'm just frustrated and not seeing things clearly. I'll definitely get more information and proceed more carefully.
Nobody?
When I'm in this position I just go “Hey how do you spell your name?” And when they tell you just say “oh yeah that's why I thought.”
You really should see a psychologist if you’re not already. Some of your comments sound unhinged seek help.
Btw, if she refuses, after having your relationship at stake it should be over, even if she later changes her mind. It will just she has cheated on you completely and needed some delay to delete the evidence.
Woooah married for the VISA??? He really regrets being deported if you divorce him.
Take pictures of the suitcase contents and her current wardrobe. The worst part is she is taking the kids! You need the kids back home before dropping the news. Get a lawyer, see if you can find someone to help when she is wherever she is suppose to be.
She could be leaving you as well, and connecting with an ex
OP clearly doesn't care about his wifes feelings or boundaries.
Really because we don't generally chastise victims of abuse for not “respecting” the boundaries of their abusers. Why even say that? You don't mention his wife's abuse at all.
Having “an issue” with porn does not equal a porn addiction. His own therapist has stated so. Centering the narrative around his use of porn while totally disregarding the abuse he's enduring is not helpful.
Abusers often target people with mental health issues only to use those issues against them. Which typically increases the severity of their condition. That allows the abuser to further justify their escalation of control and isolation while simultaneously punishing their victim for failing to meet their impossible standards.
she's asking if we can be friendly instead of tense in the meantime.
You can also just not interact till tonight, that's when you'll be talking about this. It might help give both of you a mental break too. I know you're anxious about this, but trying to be fake-nice will also be exhausting and needlessly damaging to the situation.
You say you both have mental health issues and you've outlined how you are working on yours. Is she working on hers? Is she in therapy?
If it's worth making a Reddit post about, then it's worth bringing up. You do not need to suck things up in a healthy and honest relationship. She may be able to reassure you and this may be a chance for you to get closer from opening up to her.
I think it's more your ages when you got together more than the age gap. You were 33 and she was 20? Nearly 21? You had many years of experiencing life as an adult, and she hadn't even been an adult for very long. She likely wants to enjoy and explore other relationships and life in general before she settles down. It would be different if you were 43 and she was 31 when you got together. She literally outgrew you.