Set “hot kettle pot” approach (every-time you touch the pot, it burns) boundaries on his bullshit statements in an effort to divert his clearly set path of becoming a misogynist. You need to be 100% consistent. Do not tolerate it. Ever. Make it plain as day and clear that this behavior is not okay. Every-time. Sometimes people change. Sometimes people change for the sake of a friend. But know this, it's not your job to fix someone's problems. Only take on a level of responsibility you feel you can handle or want to handle. That being said.
Bail. Remember all relationships are a form of transaction to some degree. In the case of friendship, you're trading (hopefully), companionship and wisdom. He doesn't sound like he's really providing much of that to you. So what do you get out of this relationship? He's turning into, if not already a woman hater, and is placing you on a pedestal. It sounds like he just wants a chaste obedient asian wife, and probably sees you as that too.
She has like 15 grand in the bank, she'll be fine. She has been very nitpicky about her jobs and has basically chosen to not work the past year.
Yes but why? Past trauma from exes? Have you lied to her before about something important?
Is he letting someone else use use it? He could be “subletting” on the sly.
The trip you both took together was when y’all knew y’all loved each other…then he went & slept with her when y’all returned.
Based on this comment you left on another post about 3 consenting adults in open/poly relationships:
It doesn't matter how you spin it. It's cheating.
I’m actually not that interested in your opinion, thanks though.
To give advice when I have applicable experience
You know the answer.
Your GF is too difficult to have a relationship with. At some point it will just be a co-parenting situation.
When that happens, depends on how long you feel you can endure this fatigue.
What you do now, won't change that result
I wonder how Carol and Ted feel about it? I think they’re all sleeping together…
No one needs ‘stuff’ that bad.
You have 2 choices imo:
Set “hot kettle pot” approach (every-time you touch the pot, it burns) boundaries on his bullshit statements in an effort to divert his clearly set path of becoming a misogynist. You need to be 100% consistent. Do not tolerate it. Ever. Make it plain as day and clear that this behavior is not okay. Every-time. Sometimes people change. Sometimes people change for the sake of a friend. But know this, it's not your job to fix someone's problems. Only take on a level of responsibility you feel you can handle or want to handle. That being said.
Bail. Remember all relationships are a form of transaction to some degree. In the case of friendship, you're trading (hopefully), companionship and wisdom. He doesn't sound like he's really providing much of that to you. So what do you get out of this relationship? He's turning into, if not already a woman hater, and is placing you on a pedestal. It sounds like he just wants a chaste obedient asian wife, and probably sees you as that too.
Your call.