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Date: November 27, 2022
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He was out today and he came back really late. I invited him in my shower and when we came out, he said I haven't respected his boundaries since the beginning. It was only a few days back since I started doing it and I was startled! I tried to talk more about it but he straight up said he doesn't wanna talk about it and left to get dressed. I don't know how to bring this thing up at this point.
its not that complicated just don't talk to him
Yeah it is. I realized that he was being a control freak. Every time I asked him to take me to a shelter or even to take me to the hospital, he acted like I was trying to break up with him. When I finally told him I think you're trying to control me, he accused me of trying to make him feel bad. He tried telling me it wasn't that bad and I was like easy for you to say. You're the one who gets to go into an apartment every night. I guess he expected me to only be able to shower like once a week.
It's about 1-2 times a week for us as well. Mostly too tired from work during the weeks. We're both happy with how it is now.
It's normal and expected that people in their 20s will go out with their friends sometimes, even when they are not single.
It's also normal to send memes to your platonic friends.
He “joked” about permanently mutilating you for his sexual pleasure. If you can continue on with a man like that, okay, but I sure couldn’t trust him again after that. Did you know some women who have had that done to them are never able to have penetrative sex again without experiencing severe pain?
Your boyfriend is pathetic and a sorry excuse for a man lmao
Thanks for your input! I know you're right and if it didn't go well I absolutely don't think there would be any sort of animosity or weirdness from either of us because we're grown people and we both care too much about Quinn to put them in an awkward position. I think I'm just a risk averse person and am not as good at putting myself in positions to get rejected lol
People are really slamming you on here, which I don't think is fair. Lots of people talk about opening their relationship once they've been together for a while, which is what you did. Based on what you've said, if he'd said no, you would have respected this. If there's more to the story and you had plans on someone specific, which he's been suspecting for a while, this is something else.
Could you have approached the conversation differently? Perhaps. But rather than him saying no and expressing this hurt him, he moved out without a word, which is a horrible and disrespectful way to treat someone you've been with for years.
Breakups are so hard. It must be excruciating to have it happening with no communication at all. Going against the puritanical comments here, this might be for the best. If he can't talk to you about what he's feeling, this relationship would have been doomed eventually. My ex's Dad left a note and moved out after 25yrs and two kids because he was too cowardly to have an actual conversation.
When you meet someone else (and you will!), talk about their thoughts open relationships early and get a gauge on where they stand. Be clear there may be a point in your relationship that this is something you're interested in and would like to discuss.
Things will get better, give it time.
What in the seventy fucks?!
I would just make her a little gift booklet of some of the recipes she’s expressed interest in, and maybe when she receives it just say, ‘ I always feel bad I can’t afford to share food with you because I’m in such a budget, so I thought i would give you some good recipes and I’m happy to help when you make them!’
I think this is it
You're right here.
Thank you for your help! I hope it’s just a phase (almost) all relationships have to go through (dismatched libidos & all) and that there isn’t any deeper reason. I’ll try new things. I agree that i kinda stopped putting any extra efforts hair/make up/clothes wise so maybe ill start from there.
I have no comment about whether he is guilty or not, but PLEASE use condoms.
Tbh, this looks more like a try to baby trap OP. I'd suspect bf of breaking the condom on purpose. He just expected her to follow his every wish now since she can't escape. He tried to lure her far away from all her support system (family, friends) and to put her in a place of total control (it'd be 3vs1 in any case of argument, most likely). He didn't even freak out the slightest or ask how to help/ what she wants once. Pretty sure this was planned. Tbf, I'd rather break up than risking getting trapped/ not bring able to trust him ever.
This is reddit. If a man refuses oral, he is a bad person, if a woman refuses oral, she is in the right
In real life, if one wants something to be happy and the other cannot give that, it won't work. Nobody is bad. But it's time to break up.