You are not her therapist. You’re not her fixer. She’s not a project. Talk to her about how you feel, tell her what you need. Then ask what she feels and needs. If you can’t find a middle ground, then the relationship probably needs to be re-evaluated.
She’d probably benefit from therapy, but so could we all.
Perhaps she needs more time. Two months is a really short time. You’re still getting to know each other.
I don't know much about to handle family but I think its best just to wait this out for whatever outcome.
For a massive caution OP I know the obvious motivation is to want to see a suicide note, but please be mindful that real life is very different than fiction is this regards. People often write notes in a very bad state, sometimes even when suffering a mental health episode. In any case they are not usually written with much accountability and can be confusing, hurtful and not usually a comfortable resolution.
No, you are not. But he definitely is. It's unreasonable to demand living with them when you can live right next to them. I have a feeling there's something more to this and everything he says is an excuse. It's not any different when you would be in a bigger house. I don't know why but that's how I see it. For me personally it would be a hill to die on, I also need my place I can feel comfortable in and do whatever I want.
“My gf told me that one of the guards pulled her aside and told her that there was a man who asked the guards if she is single and what apartment she lives in.
Mind you, this guard has seen us together every day for months and knows we live together.”
Firstly: this a totally unprofessional behaviour of that guard. He has to guard. Not play Cupid (roman god of love)
Secondly: there certainly IS such thing as a code of conduct for apartment guards.
Which certainly NOT includes gossip mongering or making female inhabitants scared about strangers inquiring after them.
But inform guard management/ house management becausevthis is a potentially unsafe situation for the such coveted femal tennant!
Ask you girlfriend how she feels. If this makes her uneasy then ask her, if she wants to see the guard management.
Prior to acusing inquire of how to deal with such a situation, about feeling potentially unsafe, how to act now.
And ask for the guard to be put back into the rightful place.
Nice take he reported. But he should have reported to his superiors and registered it in his guard report book.
You need to review what gaslight means. She is not being made to feel she is crazy on purpose by this guy. He is reacting in the moment in a guilty fashion. That is not the same thing.
condom?
You are not her therapist. You’re not her fixer. She’s not a project. Talk to her about how you feel, tell her what you need. Then ask what she feels and needs. If you can’t find a middle ground, then the relationship probably needs to be re-evaluated.
She’d probably benefit from therapy, but so could we all.
Perhaps she needs more time. Two months is a really short time. You’re still getting to know each other.
I don't know much about to handle family but I think its best just to wait this out for whatever outcome.
For a massive caution OP I know the obvious motivation is to want to see a suicide note, but please be mindful that real life is very different than fiction is this regards. People often write notes in a very bad state, sometimes even when suffering a mental health episode. In any case they are not usually written with much accountability and can be confusing, hurtful and not usually a comfortable resolution.
Thanks for the response here. That's a good mindset to go forward on
No, you are not. But he definitely is. It's unreasonable to demand living with them when you can live right next to them. I have a feeling there's something more to this and everything he says is an excuse. It's not any different when you would be in a bigger house. I don't know why but that's how I see it. For me personally it would be a hill to die on, I also need my place I can feel comfortable in and do whatever I want.
Ask her about her opinion.
“My gf told me that one of the guards pulled her aside and told her that there was a man who asked the guards if she is single and what apartment she lives in.
Mind you, this guard has seen us together every day for months and knows we live together.”
Firstly: this a totally unprofessional behaviour of that guard. He has to guard. Not play Cupid (roman god of love)
Secondly: there certainly IS such thing as a code of conduct for apartment guards.
Which certainly NOT includes gossip mongering or making female inhabitants scared about strangers inquiring after them.
But inform guard management/ house management becausevthis is a potentially unsafe situation for the such coveted femal tennant!
Ask you girlfriend how she feels. If this makes her uneasy then ask her, if she wants to see the guard management.
Prior to acusing inquire of how to deal with such a situation, about feeling potentially unsafe, how to act now.
And ask for the guard to be put back into the rightful place.
Nice take he reported. But he should have reported to his superiors and registered it in his guard report book.
You need to review what gaslight means. She is not being made to feel she is crazy on purpose by this guy. He is reacting in the moment in a guilty fashion. That is not the same thing.